Daughter pregnant and not eating properly

[Raintonrebel]

Hi all

After some advice so I can stop being a nagging/caring parent!

My daughter is 16 weeks pregnant and while I was at hers yesterday was shocked to find she has very little in the fridge.

She is eating but shes just picking. Mainly soup, pasta and sauces and packets of crisps. There isn't a bit of fruit or veg in sight. She has takeaway on a weekend. I don't want to come over as the nagging mother but really concerned she just isn't eating healthily enough for her and her baby.

She did say she just hadn't been shopping yet. So I'm going to make some shepherds pies and stuff she can heat from the freezer.

Am I being paranoid?!

I had hyperemesis twice. I couldn’t look at a fruit or vegetable in my second pregnancy and I couldn’t keep down water - only flat lemonade. I think the only thing I ate was crisps and plain pasta. Babies were fine! I couldn’t keep down a vitamin tablet either, I could only manage to swallow the folic acid one. So I really wouldn’t worry.

Is she taking folic acid?

Is she broke?

@Raintonrebel if you try and offer advise you'll alienate her. My consultant told me to eat what I fancied as I was so off food I was losing weight. I lived on Pom bears & decaf tea with whole milk. The baby will be fine, they take what they need!

Is she skint? Is she anxious? Is she skint and anxious?

Does she normally eat well?

I wouldn’t worry. Like pp I had hyperemesis and ate terribly throughout pregnancy, midwives and doctors weren’t at all bothered and said “babies take what they need.” But making her food to freeze and reheat is a nice thing to do for her anyway.

I ate nothing but toast for the 1st trimester with my 1st child. I couldn't even face food shopping.

As nice as you are trying to be I would have a chat and ask her if she actually wants a shepherds pie. I would have just thrown it away because I couldn't face eating it.

Be careful you don't fall into being one of 'those' interfering parents who are written about on mn every day. As good as your intentions are they can easily be taken the wrong way.

Hi. No she's not skint. Yes she is taking folic acid.

No I don't want to be one of those mums either but I was just concerned she wasn't eating enoigh or properly..

Thanks all. I'll leave her be haha.

Be careful you don't fall into being one of 'those' interfering parents who are written about on mn every day. As good as your intentions are they can easily be taken the wrong way.

Yes. Sometimes you have to be allowed to do it your way - even if it doesn’t seem like the best way to someone else.

I ate burgers, crisps, chocolate and pastrys for nine months as it was all I could stomach. As long as she's taking folic acid she will be fine

Ask her if she’s suffering the effects of “morning” sickness, may just be that. I had an, er, eclectic diet in the first trimester.

In my first pregnancy I couldn’t stomach anything except jam on toast (literally all I ate) for the first 12 weeks. The sight of a vegetable made me retch. I can’t even look at jam on toast now . DD is a healthy and thriving 4 year old.
In my second pregnancy I ate all the food in the world.

@essentialhummus she has luckily suffered no morning sickness. She just isn't eating a lot.

Maybe I'm just worrying too much...

As per PP comments. Her diet might not win any nutritional prizes but the baby will take what it needs

My DC had a meal plan of ryvita, Greek yoghurt and smiley potato faces followed by 3rd trimester of only white bread leerdamer & cucumber sandwiches. I’m not exaggerating, that’s all I ate. My pre pregnancy self would have sneered and been horrified at the absence of 5 a day but it was all I could face. I had healthy babies - although one is very fond of cheese sarnies

I took my prenatal vitamin throughout but during my first pregnancy I ate like shit. I couldn’t stomach anything unless it was bland and savoury so it was mostly absolute crap. He is eight and absolutely fine.

I'm not a fruit and veg person. I didn't eat that well when I was pregnant. My baby was fine

I think it’s lovely you are worried and lovely you asked advice here instead of wading in and mum-splaining to your daughter! And it is lovely that you are listening to the advice being given.

Your daughter is very lucky.

If she hasn't got morning sickness then why isn't she eating very much?

Is this a new thing or has she always been like it?

Is there any other reason why you are particularly concerned about her diet?

Yes, a nice Mum! It is nice that you care 😌 I’m usually a super healthy veggie but have eaten nothing but white toast and chocolate for weeks. At least it’s food!

I didn't have morning sickness, but just could eat lots of things when I was pregnant. Just the thought of most veg and fruit turned my stomach. As a result I went from eating extremely healthily pre-pregnancy to living on greasy crap and toast!

I did force myself to take vitamin tablets, though they were repulsive to me at the time. Both DCs turned out fine! I was anaemic after DS2 was horn, but that was due to blood loss. My iron levels tested as 'perfect' the week before I had him, according to my midwife.

If she hasn't got morning sickness then why isn't she eating very much?

She could be quite bloated. Or she could be suffering with heart burn after she eats. The tastebuds get all messed up, as does the appetite (not very hungry or starving all the time).
If she is even subconsciously anxious about the birth or being a new mum that can be a factor in appetite, again either loss of appetite or ‘comfort eating’.

Oh you're all just a smashing bunch aren't you!

Yes I didn't want to wade in. She's generally a good eater but now she gets half through a big Mac and leaves the rest. Whereas one time she would eat the whole meal and then some!!

Maybe she's too tired to think about cooking (she does work as well) so I'm hoping the offer of something she can heat up might be more appealing than having to cook.

Could you encourage her to have a smoothie every day? She could buy packs of frozen blueberries and raspberries and whip them up with a banana.

With ds2 I just couldn’t. I couldn’t bear it, I had no appetite. He was fine and fat when he was born - I’d dropped 2 stone by the time the water weight was off, but he was 8lb 4

I had absolutely no sickness and all I wanted for the first bit was soup, crisps and cheese sandwiches. Despite loving them before, vegetables made me retch until 20 weeks when they inexplicably became fine again. I also couldn't stand the taste of tea (even decaf) for 20 weeks. So just because you're not sick doesn't mean your eating habits don't change! I'm 38+4 now and have pretty much been able to eat normally for the second half of the pregnancy.