40+ pregnancy

[Cleozeta]

Hi, I'm 41, and 4w 4d pregnant. Trying not to get too excited yet as I know it's high risk.
Any other 40+ people out there? How are you getting on?

I’m 8 weeks tomorrow and still worried sick about having a miscarriage! It’s spoiling what should be an exciting time ! I really wish I could relax and enjoy it but I’ve read so many horror stories I just can’t! My last 3 pregnancies all went swimmingly and I never had any such fears but thus time round I’m a wreck ☹️ Anyone else feeling this anxious please?

Hi Wanda I had NIPT at 10 weeks. I went for harmony this time as there is now somewhere local that does it. Last time I went for panorama as there wasn't anywhere local so I had to travel over 2 hrs for it. I went for panorama that time as it tests for 1 or 2 more rarer ones but theres not much between the two and harmony is slightly cheaper. I haven't heard of SAFE but I think they are all similar. My harmony results came back 1 in 10,000 whereas my NHS results came back as 1 in 215 😮 so I would recommend as it gives a lot more certainty. If I had just gone for NHS I would be worrying now and looking at more testing. Even though I know to trust harmony it still bothers me the nhs test is quite high, just my age I guess.

@Donnabillox unfortunately that's a fear that doesn't really go away. Now I can feel baby moving it's better but you still worry some days. Try to remember that every day that passes reduces your risk of miscarriage. I used this customisable calculator to reassure me before 12 weeks datayze.com/miscarriage-chart.php - the figure at 8 weeks is around 92% chance of successful pregnancy and improves daily. Remember Mumsnet is full of people who are looking for advice or help which distorts the real picture. I can't remember, do you have any early scans or tests booked? Xx

Ah thankyou tiny I’ll look at it now ! I have first booking appointment Thursday so will find out about scan then I think? Do they book scan at booking in appointment? X

If you're just having the NHS scans it will probably just be the 12 week one especially if you haven't had previous issues. My appointment came through separately from the booking appointment but I think that's regional. I only had the NHS scan and tests and that is fine, a lot of people pay for early private scans if they can afford it but it's about £100 I think and - because of what we are like, natural worriers! - only gives peace of mind for a few days anyway. Talk to your midwife about how you're feeling, mine was lovely and reassuring at the booking appointment 🙂

Hi just wondered if anyone else has had mild stomach cramping ( similar to the pain you get if you are desperate for a wee) I’m 8 weeks and 2 days ! Can’t help but worry would just like to know if anyone else has had this please?

@Donnabillox my booking and scan appointments letters came through on the same day in the same envelope. I had my booking at 11 weeks from my LMP and my scan at 12 +1. However when I had my scan I was dated at 13+2.

I've had random cramps all the way through.

Thanks blue bug it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone x was scan all ok? Congratulations

Donnabillox I have had not cramping exactly but a kind of "tight" feeling in my uterus on and off since before period would have been due. It comes and goes.

@Donnabillox yep I'm 26 weeks. I get two more scans - growth scans.

I feel like I'm having appointments all the time but I actually have 5 weeks where I don't have any. It was suppose to be 4 but the community midwives couldn't fit me in.

Why are you having so many scans? X

I also get extra scans, in my case for being a first time mum over 40.

There are various factors which mean you might need growth scans to monitor baby, e.g. if you have low Papp-A when they take your bloods at the dating scan or if you have high BMI (35+ I think - might vary by area) or if you are diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I'm just looking forward to getting to see baby a lot

I was only supposed to have a confirmed 28 week one but they booked a 36 week one as well. In my case it's age as I have my glucose tolerance test on the morning of the scan.

Hi, I was wondering if anyone was planning a home birth and if so, have you met any opposition to it specifically because of your age?

I had home births with my others but that was over a decade ago! I'm wondering if they don't look on it so favorably now we're a little more mature

Hi socks. It will probably depend on whether they think you have any likely risk factors for complications. I am under a consultant purely as an 'old' FTM so I have no chance of a home birth. I'm preparing to fight just to be allowed to give birth in the MLU - which is inside the actual hospital so you'd think it wouldn't be a major issue! I need to get through my gestational diabetes test next month before I find out though.

Thanks @tiny

Ladies I hope you don't mind me gate crashing, I'm on the 40+ ttc thread.
Feeling a bit despondent today, like it's never going to happen! Close to giving up tbh. I have 2 DC already, 42 and wondering how long it took you to get pregnant, thanks x

Hi weasledee don’t give up! I stopped taking the pill after 20 years ... got pregnant literally straight away and I’m 42. I made sure I had lots of sex around ovulating and it happened straight away! Don’t give us, just try forget why you’re doing it and enjoy the sex , it will happen x

@wealseedee I have irregular periods however OKPs indicate I ovulate. I had sex regularly throughout the month I fell pregnant at 42.

@weasledee I was 39 when I got pregnant (had my bfp the day before my 40th) and it took me 6 months. I have regular cycles. Good luck xx

Hi Weasle, I recognise you from the 40+ TTC thread as I was on there. With my first at 38 I got pregnant the first month. This time it took a lot longer but my cycles were not as regular as they were. I'm not sure exactly how long as I wasn't thinking about it to start with but it was less than a year. I was properly charting it all for about 7 months. I was on lots of different vitamins but the month we conceived I had started on B complex which I think is what helped me lengthen my luteal phase. Good luck and don't give up.

Thanks for the replies, I do have regular cycles and my temps follow a good regular pattern.
But what concerns me is my previous pregnancies (and ones that ended up being MC) I got pregnant 1st month of trying...... sometimes only DTD once!
And now nothing..... beginning to think damage occurred during D and C last year, although my doc says highly unlikely.....?!
I'll think I'll lurk on this thread and be inspired by you ladies :)

How long have you been trying now weasle? Have you had been to the doctors for blood tests etc? They will do this after you've been trying for 6 months even if you already have children.

Been trying for 4 months now. Bloods taken (no results yet) and got an appointment at RMC clinic. But if I can't even get pregnant now I don't see what they can do, but I'll go along anyway

Hello gang, I'll be 43 in July and am today 5 weeks pregnant. I was 38 and came under the 'geriatric primagravida' banner with my first child, who is now four. She's wonderful and pretty hard work! It took us a year of trying and two early miscarriages to get her, this time it's taken 3.5 years of trying to get to this point. My boobs are killing me and I have almost constant nausea, and am having to work really hard not to let worry overwhelm me. Never mind every day being a triumph, I feel like every hour is a triumph at the moment! The miscarriage probability link was actually really encouraging because I thought my odds were worse than that.

One weird thing though - when we were trying for our first baby, I had a terrible feeling of doom during the two pregnancies which ended in early miscarriages. When I got my third positive, I didn't have that feeling at all, I knew it was OK, and it was. This time I'm relieved to say I don't have the doom feeling so I'm trying to stay positive. I don't believe in 'woo' at all, btw, and I don't know what to make of that experience but thought it was worth mentioning.