40+ pregnancy

[Cleozeta]

Hi, I'm 41, and 4w 4d pregnant. Trying not to get too excited yet as I know it's high risk.
Any other 40+ people out there? How are you getting on?

That's great news Jojo! So glad all is ok with your little one 😃

I’ve just turned 41 and am 30 weeks with my first baby/pregnancy. I’m getting extra scans to check growth and will have a consultant led delivery but apart from that, it’s a low risk pregnancy and I don’t feel like I’m being treated differently to younger mums. So far everything has been very plain sailing. No sickness at all, just heartburn.

Great news JoJo.

I’m 20 weeks now and my new midwife has decided to refer me to a consultant after all (as I’m just 40!) so I see him in a month’s time.
I’m with you India on the heartburn, it’s much worse than I remember last time! I need shares in Rennie!

Good morning ladies, I am checking in! Very excited and nervous at the same time. I am 41 with baby number 3. Babies 1 and 2 are 11 and 12 so I am feeling a bit like a first timer. I had a mmc in October which broke my heart so I am feeling tentative. According to a due date calculator I am due st the beginning of February. I am looking forward to reading up on all your advice and sharing this journey with you all. BTW I have been feeling very sick and my boobs are so sore and swollen plus I have had some implantation bleeding which freaked me out.

Thanks Cleo. They are 18 months now and utterly exhausting but I know I'm very blessed. I also had a baby at 23 but tbh I think I've found motherhood at over 40 more wonderful maybe because I'm wiser and more patient than I was in my 20s. Good luck to all of you xxx

Hi everyone. I saw the consultant at my 12 wk scan. He said they would recommend being induced on due date, take aspirin and I'd need testing for GB Strep as I had it last time. He didn't mention any extra growth scans.
Congratulations blessed!

Jo jo what’s gb please? X

Sorry group b strep. It's a bacteria not harmful to us but it can pass to babies during birth and can be very serious. I had to have IV antibiotics during labour last time.

What a lovely, friendly and supportive group, I hope you'll welcome me in?

I'm 43 and found out yesterday that I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my 7th child. All going well, I'll be 44 when I give birth in January; my other children range from 20-9yrs.
My head is still spinning from the result yesterday. I feel like a 1st time mum again because I've been out of the pregnancy loop for so long plus my age factor etc.

So much to learn, so much to look forward to. It'll be lovely to share the journey together

Hi socks I’m 42 and 8 weeks pregnant , my 3 daughters are aged 18, 21 and 22 and I also feel like a first timer after so long 😂 I’m very excited and am paying a lot more attention to this pregnancy . I do get annoyed by a few people’s comments ... for example a few people have said “ oh god are you mental why would you want to start all over again?” It really puts a dampener on my excitement x

Hi India, blessed and socks, welcome to the 40+ thread :) I'm 40 and 21 weeks pregnant with my first baby. It's all a bit overwhelming!

Jojo - yes I've been told I'll be induced on my due date too. Hoping she drops before then!

Donna regarding people's comments, they just don't think do they! I was at a family party on Saturday and loads of people were asking if I was still working. Like, everyone gives up work when they're only 5 months pregnant!! I'd love to give up now but there's no magic money tree unfortunately.

Hi everyone. I think this could be the thread for me. I've just recently got a BFP. I'm 42 and have 16 and 14 year old DC so I'm in the same boat as some of you by the sound of things. I am dreading telling some people (my boss, my parents...) as I know they will think it's weird/selfish/ridiculous to be having another at my age just as the DC are nearly grown up. I feel almost embarrassed when I think about saying "I'm pregnant". I need to find a way of dealing with this.

So far my symptoms are very sore boobs and general queasiness. I remember feeling very sick all the time in my last pregnancy, but never was sick. Hoping it doesn't get that bad. I'm also hoping to keep the pregnancy secret for as long as possible, so that we can have NIPT and some later scans to check baby is ok before announcing it. I wonder if that will be practical or whether I'll start to show earlier.

Hope all of my fellow over-40s mums to be are doing well and enjoying pregnancy. Any thoughts on how to deal with negative comments?

Hi Wanda! Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the thread :) I'm a FTM so can't really respond to the concerns you have about comments but I had my own concerns, I thought everyone would say I was a bit old or ask if it was planned etc. but honestly everyone has been so genuinely pleased for us that hopefully you will also find your worries unfounded in that respect.

I didn't start showing properly until about 15 weeks and even then I just looked a bit fat and a large jumper was enough to hide it - we didn't announce until 16 weeks as we had to have some extra testing after the 12-week scan. This week (21 weeks) baby's movements have become really noticeable so I'm enjoying the increased security that everything is ok with her :)

Hi Wanda I know exactly what you mean x I get embarrassed saying I’m pregnant out loud too 😂 only my adult children and husband know at the minute as I too want to wait till at least my 12 week scan to tell people . How far along are you ? Congratulations... I am very excited to be doing this all over again as I feel I’ll be a lot more clued up this time x

How lovely for you TinyTerror! People are so odd in what they ask.

Donna, how did your adult DC take the news? I am planning not to tell my DC until around 16 weeks or later if possible. I just feel I want to give it as long as possible to check things are ok before sharing the news. I know that one of them will be very happy, but the other one will not be. And I am worried about that. I'm only 4+3 at present, so have some time to think about how to break the news.

It will be my DW's first child so she is very excited and of course would like to tell everyone. I am finding this hard because my instinct is the opposite. I have many friends who've had complications in pregnancy that have sadly resulted in losses, and I have also had a miscarriage myself so I know how fragile these early weeks can be.

Wanda all my children are over the moon and so excited x it’s my husbands first child also and he’s very very excited although he agrees about not telling anyone else till at least 12 week scan . Don’t worry I’m sure your children will be happy when baby comes! Just enjoy x

Hi Wanda and congratulations! I haven't received any negativity about my age at all. I am 41 and whenever I mention to people I'm worried about risks etc at my age they all think I'm being silly. I don't think anyone has been anything but happy for us. I've been surprised whenever I've mentioned age to doctors, midwives and consultant they all seem to think it's nothing to worry about and they've all said they see women a lot older than me!

Thank you for the lovely welcome, it's great to be able to communicate with people going through similar things I don't think I know anyone who has been pregnant 40+, or started over with a large sibling gap.

Mmmm, negative comments; I think most people simply don't think before they speak. Most probably mean no harm, some are jealous and some are reflecting gut reactions of how they'd feel if they found they were in your position, not meaning for it to be a judgment of your situation. For those times when you do get that negative comment though just remember that this is your pregnancy and your baby (you and your partners,) it doesn't matter what other people think or say DH and I had been planning what we would say if we got pregnant again but to be honest, I don't think many people will raise much more than an eyebrow at us.

Being pregnant has begun to sink in now and I've stopped checking the test result 20+ times a day! We're also getting our heads around the lifestyle, work, financial and family changes baby will bring. We haven't told our children but a couple of them are like Sherlock Holmes and don't miss a thing. It won't be long before they suss something's up and sleuth it out, especially if I start to get symptoms.

I checked our local NHS area antenatal services site yesterday and it seems we'll be offered both the Nuchal scan and Harmony blood tests which is fantastic It also looks as though I don't have to make a Drs appointment, I just need to register my pregnancy with the Drs and they will refer it straight to the midwives.

How far gone were you/are you going to be when you register your pregnancy?
What screening tests are you going to have/have had?
Who else here is around 6 weeks pregnant and due in January?

I saw my doctor at six weeks who referred me to the midwife who I saw at 9 weeks. I had the NHS combined test; we came back high Down's risk owing to slightly high NT and had CVS and a couple of extra heart scans. All fine with baby now though and since my anomaly scan we're back to "normal" although I'm under the consultant as an elderly ftm. Good luck with your pregnancy 😃

Welcome and congrats socks on. I'm 19 weeks pregnant with baby number three. It does feel a little different now being over 40 (I'm 41, birthday in a couple of weeks). But because I had my first at 35, I guess not that different as I was an older mum to start with if that makes sense. The area I live in it's not uncommon to have babies in your 30's and 40's, so I don't feel too self conscious about it. I must admit I was more worried this time about chromosomal problems at the 12 week scan, but my screening result came back as lower risk than the other two, so it was a pleasant surprise . Just hoping all will be well with the 20 week scan now. How are you feeling? Hope everyone else is well.

Congratulations to Wanda and Donna too

Just read back and there's loads of ladies that have joined this thread! Congratulations to you all

Thanks Sparklyglitterball and JojoYorker. I am 5 weeks today and starting to get used to the idea of being pregnant. It’s so long since my last pregnancy that I can’t remember if I had any symptoms at this stage last time. This time the main thing is the amount of trips to the loo. Last night I had to get up 4 times! Ridiculous so early, I don’t understand it. Am also feeling so bloated after eating anything at all, which I don’t remember feeling before.

I am starting to think about NIPT. Have done a bit of googling but don’t really understand the differences between Harmony, Panorama, and SAFE. Has anyone had NIPT yet?

Hi Wanda. I had the dreadful bloating, I could only eat very small meals. Between that and giving up booze I lost 4 or 5 lbs in the first few weeks! Didn't last unfortunately 😳 I was getting up loads to wee too and was so so tired.

I think those tests are all essentially the same, just different brands so offered by different private clinics. In some areas they are now offered by the NHS too although I think that is only if your combined tests results are high risk. I know some of the other mums on the board have had it Jojo for one - so hopefully they will have more info.

I wish I had known about the non-invasive tests as the stress when the combined test came back high risk was awful, but I would still have needed extra heart scans for baby because of the high nuchal translucency so I don't know how much less stressed I'd have been in reality 😏