How do I get partner to understand how tired I am?

[CarlyCape]

It's my first pregnancy (that's made it past 5 weeks). I'm tired. Exhausted even. I don't sleep properly at night and when I'm at home I end up falling asleep during the day until 11/12 o'clock. I work full time mon-fri and have horrible morning sickness that I'm trying to cope with. DP stormed in today at 12 and demanded I get up, telling me I'm just going to make myself more tired. I explained that I was awake all night feeling sick and have finally managed to sleep and that I think I know when I need to sleep or not. He thinks I'm being lazy (I've never been a lazy person in my life).

This, along with pregnancy hormones, is making me feel incredibly unsupported and like he doesn't want to try and understand how rough it is feeling like you have a hangover all the time. His ex who he already has a child with didn't have morning sickness apparently, however that doesn't mean that my pregnancy is going to be just as hunky dory!

How do I make him understand? I feel like he doesn't care...

Posts like this make me really angry. Your partner sounds like a knob! You are growing a mother freaking human being! He needs to start understanding that. All I can think of is standing your ground and not let him talk to you like that! I've had several days in bed because of exhaustion during pregnancy. My dp has took over cleaning, care of my dd, school runs all while working when I have been bad. He can not compare you to his ex. When he comes to your appointments with midwife it might be worth having her explain to him that all pregnancies are different and affect people differently.
P.s I had sickness at night time! It's worse than the morning in my opinion. Hugs!

Thanks @Nkhutch - I honestly feel like running away and not coming back until baby is born. I really thought he would be different.

I say he needs a throat punch 👊👌

Just blame it on the pregnancy hormones making you act crazy 😂

for you OP xo

Lol thanks @Sushirolls - I might try that one x

@Nkhutch your partner sounds lovely btw. Lucky you.

💕

Anyone else want to tell me how shit my DP is? Seriously, it's helping...

I will. He just hasn't got a clue.
I have never ever been so tired as in the first three to four months of pregnancy. I was totally shattered. Would come home from work and fall asleep until about 10pm. Dh would have made some dinner so I'd eat a bit then. Then I'd go back to sleep again and still be exhausted in the morning. You just drag yourself through those early days praying for it to eventually improve.
Dh never once complained. Unlike your dp he had an inkling that growing a whole new person might actually be quite hard work.

He just walked in the bedroom, saw that I was in tears, put my tablets on the end of the bed and walked out. Had enough.

@ferrier you're very lucky. Maybe I'm with the wrong man. Who knows.

Sounds like it, love. Take it easy.

Thanks @MikeUniformMike x

You're not only growing an entire person but also in the early stages growing an entirely new internal organ (the placenta). It's draining even without sickness.

Pregnancy is really hard work, so sorry you're having to deal with your partner being an idiot on top. It should get a bit better in the 2nd trimester though, everyone I know has said it's those early days that are the most exhausting and that was also my experience. Plus once you tell people they'll all want to look after you, and when that starts maybe your partner will realise what a dick he's been

Is your mum sympathetic, OP? Could you not decamp to your mums for Easter and let mr sensitive hang out on his own?

I have never been so tired in my life as I was when I was pregnant with DD, I'd wake up late, have at least one nap during the day and be in bed flat out by 8:30pm most nights. I was absolutely shattered.

Your partner sounds like he is behaving like a prize tit and needs telling so. Growing a human is knackering. When he can do it, then he gets to have an opinion on 'laziness'. Arse hat that he is.

Congratulations on your pregnancy op .

He does sound like an insensitive twat. Sorry.

@whoareyoukidding sadly I live 200 miles from most of my family. In fact, all of my family. I would so love to go but I can't because of work!

I remember waking up from a long sleep or a good nap and half an hour later feeling like I hadn't slept in days, like I'd been smacked in the face with a shovel . I don't think my dh got it. 2nd pregnancy when I was feeling ill he would call up the stairs asking where I was (as in, why aren't you helping to look after dd?). I was hospitalised not long after.

Men only see the physical, by the mental or internal. We are meant to troop on whatever. Sad really.

Oh OP. He’s being a shit. And so immature, and pointlessly unpleasant.

It’s too easy to say ltb on here, but I can’t really see how this will end well when you have an actual baby around.

Another one saying he is an arse. Pregnancy was shit for me. Don't get me wrong, it was planned, very much wanted and I spent the whole time so excited to meet my baby BUT I was as sick as a dog pretty much the whole time. I was constantly exhausted (both first and third trimester were nap-filled) and spent the first 20 weeks vomiting multiple times per day. Your partner needs to get a fucking grip and help / support you. I bet he will be the first to complain when he's tired with looking after a newborn....! I'd have it out with him then escape somewhere for a week to chill / sleep / relax.

Poor you

My dp wasn't the most supportive, but he did become accustomed to coming straight upstairs when he got in, seeing me sparko on the bead and saying "ah, takeaway again!"

I don't think the exhaustion lasted past the trimester, though I guess that feels like a long way away.

I wonder why his first marriage broke up? Perhaps he behaved like this with his first wife too?!

Thanks all x

@Babdoc he wasn't married, however I have no idea why they broke up. It was years ago.

Why are you staying then? he's being horrible to you. He's not going to magically become supportive, understanding and perceptive of the needs of others when the baby is born. He's going to carry on being the same snide, unpleasant, selfish character he is showing himself to be right now.

He has you isolated away from friends and family and is not supporting you with a difficult early pregnancy, he doesn't even trust you at your word that you ARE having a difficult early pregnancy. How else is he going to fail to support you as a mother?

Honestly I'd start looking for a job near your home town, and I would go home.