Would you tell your ex?

[Sparkleandshinemum]

Hello I'm new to Mumsnet. I'm 6 weeks pregnant (third pregnancy, second child) my partner has a child (full time dad) and I have a child (full time mum).

Now the question I'm asking is would you tell your child's dad(your ex) that you're expecting?
I have to keep it from him until I'm atleast 12 weeks, as he is the type to try and make me lose the baby through stress etc (not a nice guy, abusive relationship, long story) he's a very jealous person. But at the 12 weeks mark, would you tell him in person or would you just let him find out from others? I'm absolutely terrified about how he will react, my partner has said he will keep me safe and help me through it when he finds out, but I just don't know whether to be that nice person and tell him or just let him find out.
Thanks

No it’s none of his business
I have no intention of telling mine but then we don’t get along at all
If you get along it’s different I guess

Will he will help prepare your child for his upcoming sibling? It is common courtesy to let them know (if you think he’ll react negatively, it’ll give him time to process). His child is getting another brother or sister.

If your child together spills the beans and he reacts horribly in front of the child, I imagine that’d be worse. Be nice (even if he doesn’t deserve it) , it may serve you well in the future

It wouldn't be fair to expect your current child to keep it a secret from his dad. So when you tell your dc you'll need to tell the dad. Maybe do it over the phone. He sounds scary! Try and shut down any conversations about anything other than your shared dc. It's none of his business!

I wouldn't say anything until your child knows. I'd probably not tell anyone until it was obvious.