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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Fed up with husband

52 replies

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 09:29

Feeling incredibly fed up and frustrated constantly with my husband. I’m in my third trimester now so I know my hormones are probably in full swing again but I can’t seem to hold a conversation with him without getting annoyed. He doesn’t seem to want sex with me either so there hasn’t been any intimacy! This morning I thought he would have mentioned it being Mother’s Day and obviously I know that I’m not ‘officially’ a mum but I think of myself as somebodies mum, just that he is inside me for a few more weeks but some acknowledgement towards this day would have really cheered me up but no!!! Sorry, I had to come on to have a rant and I don’t want this to make me seem ungrateful because I’m not, I’m just fed up!! Anyone else feel like this sometimes?

OP posts:

Haleymyles · 11/03/2018 09:39

Hello, yes I am feeling the same but over the last 2 days I've sort of come to realise that I have been a bit of a nightmare lol. I don't blame my partner for not holding down a conversation because anytime he has been trying to speak to me I literally just moan/bite his head off. It is still very very frustrating though I think they should understand that we are so tired , heavy and anxious about the birth and baby coming that we are bound to not be in the best of moods! I'm glad it's not just me feeling this way though because sometimes I really do want to strangle him xx

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 09:45

So glad too I’m not the only one Haleymyles! I don’t think he does understand that I’m tired and he makes it a competition of who is the most tired which really boils my blood but I have to bite my tongue and just think ‘you’ll realise when I’m in labour’! Really frustrated over the Mother’s day scenario and I think it’s tipped me over the edge for the week with him!! Thank god he has gone to work for a few hours, haha.

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wokingjames · 11/03/2018 09:46

Yes I remember this experience well, my wifes hormones would be all over the shop and without warning my wife would get the hump with me for no apparent reason. But I suppose that's pregnancy for you.

Haleymyles · 11/03/2018 09:51

Yeah I'm a bit miffed about it aswell now because 3 of my friends have all text me to say happy Mother's Day mummy to be with extremely adorable pictures that are making me emotional and he's not said a word either. I'm off to my mums today too so I will have a bit of breathing space lol xx

LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 09:55

It honestly would never occur to me to say happy Mothers day to a pregnant woman (who doesn't already have children) so it probably just hasn't entered his head.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 09:57

Oh workingjames, sorry to hear you have been on the end of it all lol!
Haleymyles, at least others know that we will still appreciate today whether our husbands like to acknowledge it or not. I’ve got the hump so much I’ve put my first ever ‘indirect’ post on Facebook about how I have as much right to celebrate Mother’s day as anyone else as I have carried him for 30 weeks, I’m sure once hubby gets to work he will spot it! Serves him right lol! I hope you have a great mother’s day, we all deserve to be pampered today I believe xx

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Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 10:00

LoveEricLove, I’m sure it hasn’t entered his head and I strongly doubt he has done it to annoy me but I just know that if it was Father’s Day a few weeks before he became a dad I’d definitely mention something but I suppose that is the difference hey! I didn’t get a valentines card either so I’m not even sure why I’m surprised haha 😂

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LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 10:04

Oh don't do the passive aggressive crap on FB OP. It'll just make you look daft.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 10:07

Sorry, first and last time! Promise!

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ballerini · 11/03/2018 10:26

I am not far into my pregnancy but when we spoke about it being mother's day this morning I never gave it a second thought being pregnant with my first.
My family aren't that bothered about mother's/father's day (I won't be seeing my mother today but will take a gift when I see her in a few weeks) and when I become a mother I don't think I will be either.

bobcat85 · 11/03/2018 10:26

I never expected any Happy Mother's Day when being pregnant and having no children.
I think you're maybe over thinking this.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 10:41

Oh come on! When do we class ourselves as mothers then ladies? When the baby is born? I don’t think so! I completely believe that from the moment we find out we are expecting our babies that we become mothers, we look after them, nourish them and love them already. Those that suffer miscarriages (myself being one of them) grieve for their unborn children like a mother. I feel his every moment, I see him on the screen, his heart beats. Just because he isn’t physically in front of me in my arms, does not mean he doesn’t ‘exist’ or isn’t alive. He hiccups, he moves his body, he can open his eyes, he is a human being. Ridiculous to think you don’t believe you should be celebrated for carrying the best gift in life. You absolutely should and from the moment those lines appeared for me in September, he was my baby and I was his mummy, end of.

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ClareB83 · 11/03/2018 10:44

Ok. But does your husband know you think like that?

Because clearly not everyone does. I specifically told my DH not to do anything for me for Mother's Day while I'm pregnant. Seems premature me.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 10:46

I’m sorry you feel it’s premature for you Clare but as my previous post has just stayed, I’m a mother regardless of where my baby is, inside me or outside of me. It’s a shame none of you can appreciate yourselves in the same way!

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LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 10:51

People celebrate Mothers on Mothers day as it's a day a year to appreciate all they do the other 364 days. At the moment yes you're a Mother of an unborn baby but you haven't done any 'Mothering' yet. Your body is growing a baby but that's just biology.

I think that's why a lot of people don't necessarily think of pregnant women on Mothers day.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 10:56

This post is now turning into something I never intended it to be and it will soon to nasty on a day that I really don’t believe it should. My opinion is that regardless of whether you are a mum to a physical child or a mother to be an unborn child you should be celebrated today. To say that those who are pregnant haven’t ‘Mothered’ is ludacris. Our bodies are amazing and they mother our babies immediately. They protect and nourish our babies throughout the pregnancy. I’m absolutely amazed at those that can’t see their true value just from carrying a baby inside! Funny thing is, it was international women’s day only the other day and all these lovely posts about building women up and then a few days after that, you see a different side to women who tear each other down.

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LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 11:14

No-ones tearing anyone down FFS.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 11:23

You certainly were in your previous post

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Oysterbabe · 11/03/2018 11:32

It wouldn't have entered my head that it would be acknowledged either to be perfectly honest. I might have thought to myself, this time next year I'll be celebrating mother's Day but nothing beyond that. I don't usually like to join in with the whole 'he is not your mother' crowd but I do agree with them a bit when the baby hasn't even been born yet.

bobcat85 · 11/03/2018 11:36

No one is tearing you down, they're just giving you their point of view.

I certainly didn't feel like a mother until I gave birth to my son. I'm pregnant again and I see myself as a mother of one, not two as I've not given birth yet.

It's great that you feel like that but some people don't and that's not wrong. Your Husband obviously doesn't realise you feel that way.

FranticallyPeaceful · 11/03/2018 11:39

Mothering is different to making a child imo. You haven’t mothered a child yet, for those who celebrate - it’s a day of appreciation for mothering them or mothering their children. You haven’t done it yet so I don’t see why you’d be fussed over.

You haven’t had a child yet so it’s kind of understandable why you feel like you need a celebration for being pregnant but being a mother is totally different. Nobody is tearing anybody down, you’re doing a wonderful thing, stating reality isn’t tearing other women down.

Just don’t turn into one of those mums who require the world on Mother’s Day, because I’m guessing this can only escalate from here?!

LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 11:42

I wasn't tearing you down at all. Pregnant women are routinely described as 'Mum to be'. Being pregnant and being a Mum is usually seen as two different things.

Many women get through 9 months of pregnancy without even knowing they're pregnant.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 11:49

Completely disagree with you all, sorry! And I’m sorry you didn’t feel like Mother’s when pregnant but I do and I do not feel an ounce of shame for that ☺️

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Oysterbabe · 11/03/2018 11:52

Then why is your username Mum2be and not just Mum?

All I'm saying is cut your husband some slack, he wasn't to know you already consider yourself a mother as most pregnant women don't.

Original poster

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 11:53

Wow look at you all, like a pack of animals!

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