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Original poster

Fed up with husband

52 replies

mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 09:29

Feeling incredibly fed up and frustrated constantly with my husband. I’m in my third trimester now so I know my hormones are probably in full swing again but I can’t seem to hold a conversation with him without getting annoyed. He doesn’t seem to want sex with me either so there hasn’t been any intimacy! This morning I thought he would have mentioned it being Mother’s Day and obviously I know that I’m not ‘officially’ a mum but I think of myself as somebodies mum, just that he is inside me for a few more weeks but some acknowledgement towards this day would have really cheered me up but no!!! Sorry, I had to come on to have a rant and I don’t want this to make me seem ungrateful because I’m not, I’m just fed up!! Anyone else feel like this sometimes?

OP posts:
LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 11:55

WTF are you talking about? 🤗

PotteringAlong · 11/03/2018 11:59

You need to listen to everyone else here. We’re not a pack of animals, we’re not tearing you down.

You are pregnant but you don’t physically have a child yet. You will no doubt have a lovely lovely first mother’s Day next year, but that day is not today. Cut your husband some slack. He’s not cocked up here, he’s just thinking like 99% of other people.

FranticallyPeaceful · 11/03/2018 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 12:00

Why are you still here Eric?

My OP was not intended to create such nasty backlash from other mumsnet users. If I believe I am a mother, and I have every right to, then what’s the issue? There isn’t one. Plenty of people all over social media have posted their cards and gifts that are pregnant today, I bet you wouldn’t comment on that for the world to see who you are would you, absolutely not! If your opinions are going to upset others then don’t comment just ignore the post. You all believe you didn’t want to be classed as mothers until your baby entered the world and that’s fair enough so shoot me for being different! I know my baby is alive and I will celebrate today for my own personal reasons. Everyone should be appreciated today whether they have their babies in their arms or not! I’m sorry if some of you feel that you shouldn’t have been celebrated but that’s how you wanted things.

OP posts:
FranticallyPeaceful · 11/03/2018 12:01

(I’m guessing hormones btw, and you’ll realise that when you’ve had your child)

LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 12:03

I can be anywhere I want on the internet.

Original poster
mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 12:04

You don’t call people unhinged that really is nasty franticallypeaceful

OP posts:
bobcat85 · 11/03/2018 12:04

I've not read one nasty post and no one is shaming you.
I think you've taken this all the wrong way, as you say in your OP you're very hormonal.

Oysterbabe · 11/03/2018 12:05

People have not been like a pack of animals, just given an opinion.
Try reposting this on AIBU for some perspective. Mumsnet isn't a place where people will just agree with you for the sake of it.

Original poster
mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 12:06

To all of those commenting who are ‘actual mother’s’ in their own opinions, why are you commenting on my post and not celebrating? Hmmmm...

OP posts:
BumDisease · 11/03/2018 12:08

Why aren't you celebrating op??? Hmm

Original poster
mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 12:08

I think I’ll leave this post here on this note.

Fed up with husband
OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 11/03/2018 12:09

a) you don’t think you’re a mother. If you did your user name wouldn’t be Mum to be, it would be Mum.
b) if no one else agrees with you do you not see why this might be your hormones talking and nothing else?

bobcat85 · 11/03/2018 12:13

Now your being nasty OP.

If you really want to know my son is napping and I'm taking some well deserved time out on my phone before he's up and running around again. Mother's Day is also a day for Mum's to rest as we spend so much time running after our children, working, doing housework etc...

You really are overreacting and now throwing nasty comments out to people who are only offering their opinions.

ballerini · 11/03/2018 12:18

I'm sorry you feel that people are getting at you. Reading through the comments I don't think anyone was trying to be nasty just looks like a lot of different opinions.
I agree that growing a baby inside of you is very much a part of mothering.
I think of mother's/father's day a bit like valentine's - a commercialised pile of crap really where society expects you to behave a certain way.
I am only 8wks and haven't had a single medical appointment so I don't love my baby yet but at the same time I would be devastated if anything terrible happened to it. Other people might think this was crazy!
We all think about these things different ways!

ballerini · 11/03/2018 12:19

ok so I started typing that before things got nasty!

darceybussell · 11/03/2018 12:20

I'm not sure how he was supposed to know that this was such a massive deal for you. Or even why you're that bothered to be honest - I was never bothered when I was pregnant and if my husband had got me a card and made a fuss I'd have thought it a bit twee. Clearly you think it's a big deal but you've got a baby on the way very soon so I'd say you've got bigger fish to fry to be honest.

meandmytinfoilhat · 11/03/2018 12:21

I think you're a mother during pregnancy. I think you need to tell your husband your point of view as he clearly hasn't seen it the same way as you have.

I classed myself as a mother when I was pregnant. I regard my friend who's baby didn't make it as a mother too.

LoveEricLove · 11/03/2018 12:21

No-one said the OP or anyone else can't consider themselves Mothers - she wanted to be celebrated by other people as a Mother on Mothers day and people pointed out why that might not have happened.

Original poster
mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 12:23

other people? You mean my husband only lol

OP posts:
Original poster
mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 12:25

Absolutely my point meandmytinfoilhat, when do people class themselves as mothers?? If god forbid my baby was to be stillborn or anything happened inside, I’d class myself as his mother. That was my point!!!

OP posts:
Fieau · 11/03/2018 12:28

I feel a bit sorry for your husband as you've obviously gotten yourself worked up during this thread and he's the one who's going to get the brunt of it!

I suggest closing MN down for today.

Bigpizzalover · 11/03/2018 12:31

I think it’s different for men than women, I considered myself a mother when I was pregnant, yes it’s biology growing the baby, but it’s my biology that’s doing it. Anyway back to what I was saying, as women we feel every movement, we feel our bodies changing, we feel every up and down with our hormones, whereas a male only really feels the true bond we have once the baby is in their arms, and that’s why I believe they may not think of Mother’s Day until the baby is born, as although they are fully aware they are a father to the unborn child it only really sinks in on the birth. X

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 11/03/2018 12:45

It’s fine and perfectly usual to consider yourself a mum but I can see why your husband would not automatically think to buy you a card. I might not think to buy a card for an expectant mother but it’s no bearing on what I think of them.

Original poster
mum2bemay22 · 11/03/2018 12:54

But I never asked him to buy me a card or a present, I simply said in my OP that I would have liked some acknowledgement, maybe even a comment to me this morning. I’m not asking for anything else.

OP posts:
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