Telling people

[PerfectlyPosed]

I've just found out I'm pregnant with DC2. We've been trying for a while so we're pleased it's finally happened. I really wanted to keep it between me and DP for a while this time (we told everyone really early last time and felt it took some of the excitement away). However I have a work event next Friday that I can't not go to and will be completely noticed if I'm not drinking. Also a hen do at the end of March. I'm just going to have to tell people the truth, aren't I?

I wouldn't go to the work thing next week say your current child is ill and the hen party I would start with a bad water infection the week leading upto it or bad flu. Don't be forced to tell people xx

Thanks for your reply. I really can't get out of the work thing next week. My boss knows I've already arranged a babysitter and it's been in the diary for months. I can't see any way round it.
The hen do I'm not too worried about as I'll be further on then and it will be easier to hide the fact that I'm not drinking.

Is there any way you could make up a story about needing to drive after the work event? Something like Babysitter needs to be at their own house so you need to collect DC later?

People really don't care as much as you think they do. If you're vaguely believable they'll either believe you or just wonder if you're pregnant to themselves.

Just order your own drinks - a tonic instead of a gin and tonic and be your usual good fun self.

You could pretend to drink - depending on the set up. I used to drink 'whisky & coke' but it was just coke. It's a bit harder if you're sitting down for a meal and sharing wine.

Some people say they are on anti-biotics and can't drink. Some people might see through this and wonder if you are pregnant - but they won't actually know so it doesn't matter.

Or could you say you have to stay sober as you have to drive home or drive someone to the airport or something after the night out.

Don't tell anyone until 20 weeks if you can, it makes the pregnancy seem shorter and at least you'll of had your anomaly scan. People don't really care, if they guess they'll just secretly wonder to themselves

Order a tonic water with lemon and ice - pretend it's a g&t. If there is shared wine on the table, accept a small glass and take small sips now and again. People really won't look too closely if you seem to be drinking.
Hen do is trickier - what sort of group is it? If they aren't big drinkers you could probably use the same tactics and act a bit tipsy but if they are planning a boozy weekend with drinking games etc. then they will definitely notice.

Say you're on antibiotics. That's the excuse I've always used. Seems to work!

You can alwats say your babysitter ditched you?
Otherwise, I had 3 work events before announcing my pregnancy, and got away with pretending to sip my glass of red wine. No one was tracking my actual consumption.

People really don’t notice. I went to a wine, cheese and Parma ham party last week, and literally the only thing I could eat was the cheddar! No one even mentioned it. I go to a lot of very boozy work events and if people ask me why I’m not drinking, I just tell them that I’m doing dry January / given alcohol up for lent / trying a vegan diet.

If they’ve suspected the truth, no one has been impolite enough to mention it.

Driving thing won't work as I live 10 minutes walk away from my office and babysitter is MIL so there's no way she would bail. And even if she did, DP would still be at home. Also, the people serving the drinks are people I work with so at least one of them will know I'm only ordering tonic water.

I always made sure there was one person who knew and could help me cover up. Order the same drink as them, you take the odd pretend sip but they alternate back and forth between glasses. That way you always have a drink in hand that is going down as expected, rather than a full drink you suddenly 'finish' by pouring it away or leaving somewhere. And if anybody does catch them your friend just says 'oh sorry, I thought that one was mine' and laughs it off.

Honestly, I thought it was going to be tough but I managed quite a few nights out and nobody took a blind bit of notice. When I then told one group of friends about the pregnancy they said '...but you were so drunk at that party'. Morning sickness can look a lot like a really bad hangover

It really doesn't matter if people know early. Just don't say and if they guess, just say it's very early days and don't want to talk about it. People understand. No need to wait until 20 week scan.

If the worst happens, you'll want Dionne time off anyway and will likely want sorry at work so would need to say anyway

I don’t know if it will help you (not sure how the drinks will be served) but my dad always told me the best thing you can do when you don’t want people to see that you aren’t drinking, is to get something in a dark bottle. People don’t look too closely and won’t notice that it hasn’t gone down in ages. No help if everything is in a glass though, I appreciate. Could you be doing some kind of alcohol free cleanse? X

Can you fake a headache that means you don't want to drink anything, say you think you're coming down with something? Pretend you're hungover from an impromptu dinner/drinks the night before? Still order drinks, nurse them for as long as possible and tip in to the toilet?

Bear in mind as well that the mlre other people drink the less they'll notice what you're up to.... keep their drinks topped up!

Thanks for all your advice. I think I'm going to go with the headache thing so drink slowly and will opt for "gin" and tonic. My best friend will be there and she knows so I'll just make sure it's either me or her that go to the bar to order. The hen do at the end of the month I'm not so worried about but I just think 5 weeks is far too early for it to be public knowledge.