How is your partner reacting to moods?

[Seesaw8]

Hi - I’m 11w +6 and it’s only in the past week that I’ve really seen the mood swings get bad, and hubby is obviously getting the brunt of it. I’m upset if I hurt his feelings, but I do feel like he’s not being very understanding of the fact I’m not totally in control of them. He has a short fuse and is quite happy to let small things develop into huge rows, which can’t be good for any of us.

The thing is, even when I’m not in a mood swing he still blames them, we can’t even have a straightforward disagreement without it escalating (usually he can’t find something and blames me!) I try to remain calm, but he doesn’t do the same.

I understand how hard it is being the partner and having to put up with ups and downs in mood, but has anyone found a good strategy for keeping OH calm and not letting everything escalate? Help!

I've found it helpful to explain what is happening to me in very plain terms (brain flooded with hormones, no control, distressing for me too, please help me by not pushing on x, y, z). I know it is not my fault but I do feel bad when I snap at him or act weird suddenly, so I feel ok apologising on that level, but I'd be a bit pissed of if he took umbrage.

DH is very supportive and does understand once I have explained how I feel - he had a head start because IVF drugs sent me fucking insane too!

Thanks @juststrugglingabit - umbrage is definitely the word today! I feel bad too, but it’s hard to get him to fully understand what’s happening short of trying to shove my baby book under his nose. Will definitely try to explain it to him again and see if it helps.