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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

First appointment with midwife

16 replies

ExpectingFirst · 19/02/2018 09:20

Hi - I'm new here and got a BFP over the weekend!
I have booked the first midwife appointment and was wondering if they ask you about what contraception you have been using? As I recently started on the pill but my other half thinks I was on it for a while and I don't want him knowing otherwise (he is coming to the appointment). I was on the depo injection and have been off it for a year so assumed I was safe (stupidly) for another couple of years as it can take a while to come out of the system.

I am ecstatic to be pregant and other half is too, even though it's early days!

Thanks

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LisaSimpsonsbff · 19/02/2018 09:28

They will definitely ask about contraception, but I don't know in how much detail about timings. It really isn't an important appointment to bring a partner to - nothing exciting happens and you don't learn anything about the baby, you just give a load of information and some blood/urine samples, it's not like a scan or even like a later midwife appointment when you might hear a heartbeat - so if it's worrying you it might be easier if he just doesn't come. I know in some places they don't even allow the partner in for some/all of the appointment so they can ask about domestic abuse and other sensitive issues.

Bobbiepin · 19/02/2018 09:32

You thought an injection that last for 3 months would cover you for a couple of years

Anyway I don't remember being asked about contraception and I was told to go the appointment alone too. Congratulations.

Original poster

ExpectingFirst · 19/02/2018 09:54

Hi Bobbiepin, Thanks for the reply.
Was you told when you first phoned them to go on your own? Nothing was mentioned when I phoned up . Think I will phone them back and ask.

OP posts:

HoneyBee03 · 19/02/2018 10:20

Congrats! My midwife told me that it's a good idea to bring my partner if possible, and I'm really glad he came. He was asked some questions about family history, and he was as keen as I was to hear all the information. Also as I have the same midwife right through until the birth it was nice for both of us to meet her.

I don't recall being asked about contraception, I don't think it matters too much. My midwife took me round to show me to the toilets so I could do a urine test, and she took that opportunity to ask about domestic abuse, they have their ways of getting you out of the room on your own :) So you could mention contraception then.

Isittimeforbed · 19/02/2018 10:29

They might ask you if it was planned/unplanned/how long you'd been trying for to get an idea of how you may be feeling and whether you've been on folic acid since conception or not. They may also ask about contraception as, for example, they'd want to know if you'd conceived whilst you had a coil in which would be important to know. But it doesn't matter how long you tell them you were on the pill for before you conceived.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 19/02/2018 10:43

I think this is one of many things that varies area to area. My midwife didn't ask me specifically because my history made it very clear that this was a very planned pregnancy so she just ticked that box, but there's a whole section of my notes with questions about contraception if you were on it when you conceived, and it does include duration. You may well not be asked, but if it's important for you not to be asked in front of your partner then I'd be prepared for it being a distinct possibility.

Original poster

ExpectingFirst · 19/02/2018 10:47

Thank you for all your replies

OP posts:

Bobbiepin · 19/02/2018 11:01

It was in my letter that I shouldn't take a partner with. If there was any questions about his family history that I didn't know I would have asked him later. They do ask some serious and personal questions about domestic abuse, FGM and rape so its easier to be honest alone (If those issues were a problem for you).

Twitchett22 · 19/02/2018 11:03

They didn't ask me anything about contraception, how long we'd been trying etc, just if we were both happy to proceed with the pregnancy. But they should always ask to see you alone first (or at some point during the appointment) as they have to ask you about any domestic violence. My midwife also asked me at the same time if there was anything i didnt want my DP to know e.g past pregnancies/abortions etc. Dont stress about it.
And I think its a lovely thing for your DP to attend, they want to be involved as much as they can so if he wants to go dont let the contraception thing stop you from taking him! Congratulations!

Original poster

ExpectingFirst · 19/02/2018 11:16

Sounds like it will all be fine from all of your replies :) It's still not sunk in yet, when did you all get that realisation that you are actually pregnant?

OP posts:

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 19/02/2018 11:19

Here they make the partner sit outside for the first half of the appointment and only bring them in for the family questions like hereditary diseases etc so they can ask certain questions when it's just you.

Twitchett22 · 19/02/2018 12:24

OP it didn't sink in with me until I was about 22 weeks and DP could feel her kicking from the outside, the rest of the time i thought i was imagining it despite 2 scans lol im 38 weeks and still sometimes get up in the night forgetting im pregnant and my bump gets in the way haha

Loonyluna16 · 19/02/2018 12:31

My midwife just asked if baby was planned or not. She didn't ask me about contraception.i had a 10 min appointment a week before my booking appointment which my partner wasn't at. I mentioned my DP was coming to the booking appt and she asked me about any DV at the appt when my partner wasn't there. So it might be pointless even having your OH at the first appointment as it's probably not your booking appointment x

PinkyPromise77 · 19/02/2018 12:37

Congratulations! All very exciting :)

It didn't sink in yet for me and I'm 10 w + 3 days today and already had my early scan so seen the baby...

I had my midwife coming to my home for first appointment. My husband was there but he had to take a work call but I don't remember being asked about contraception or domestic violence for that matter :)

It's handy for the partner to be there I thought as I know my husband wanted to so he could give his family medical history :)

HoneyBee03 · 19/02/2018 14:17

As you can see OP it varies so much depending on your midwife and area! Mine spent some time on the phone organising the appointment, explaining everything we'd be going through, any details I should prepare and told me how long the appointment would take. I'm sure if you want some clarification on how your appointment will go they won't mind you calling for more info :)

coffeeforone · 19/02/2018 14:24

I had my midwife booking in appointment this morning (I just went alone and i know about my DH's family history). She asked me what contraception I had been using and when I stopped using it. I think it was basically to find out how long I'd been trying.

I can't imagine it making much difference to your pregnancy, so you could just lie to MW in front of your partner then clarify at a later appointment when he isn't with you

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