Just found out I'm 16 weeks pregnant

[AllWasWell]

Hi,
I have just come back from the doctors today to have been told I am 16 weeks pregnant... I'm in colossal shock as I have the coil (hormone not copper.
I don't know what to think or even say. I don't think I wanted this to happen

Have you told your partner?

No he is currently at work and not due home until 7ish. He will probably text me before that but I feel like I should tell him in person as this was so unplanned

I don't even know how to tell him. The only reason we found out is because I can feel fluttering in my stomach. Now I know it's the baby

What a shocker for you. Did they give you a scan? I know how crazy it feels when you find out you're pregnant and it's planned, so I can only imagine how shocked you feel right now.

No, no scan yet. She said could guess around the weeks for me feeling movement and what she could feel? I'm booked in with a midwife tomorrow, but I don't really know what's gonna happen

Is this your first baby OP?

I really want to say 'congratulations' but how do you feel about it?

Yes first pregnancy/baby. In 25 so would be natural but for the past year or so I've been feeling I don't want children (this may change in years time) I don't know what to do

Thank you for the congratulations that brings back to me that this should be a happy thing, and this is what some people die to do. I feel selfish having doubts and worries

Huge hugs. You must be in enormous shock.

you still have options OP, you don't have to continue the pregnancy if you don't want to.

You are allowed to do whatever you want to do about this. Its ok to not want to continue a pregnancy. Its also ok to decide you want to continue (with or without dps support).

It terrifies me that I have lost the part of the pregnancy where people have a choice I feel like I have no choice and won't be able to hide it. Also I changed jobs about a month ago which I wouldn't have done it I knew earlier

There is no 'should' here OP. Yes, for some people this would be happy news but for other people, it's much more complicated. Neither is right or wrong. Please don't be led by what you feel you 'should' do. Try to figure out how you feel about this. No one can tell you what you should be doing in this situation

I feel like I have no choice now it's not a bundle of cells anymore it's a baby that I can feel fluttering. The one plus is me and my dp have been together 9 years but he is going to be super shocked and I don't know how he will react

You do have a choice. You don't have to go ahead with this if you don't want to

It's good knowing I have a choice. But I think the choice is gonna take a little while which where I'm so progressed worries me. I also worry about my dp reactions sometimes he jokes about me being pregnant when I've been showing signs but I don't think it's what he wants yet and I don't think I could do it alone

Wow what a shock for you. Is your DP supportive generally? Best of luck with it all OP

I was nearly 20 weeks with Dd2, when I found out. I went to the doctor to have my thyroid levels checked.
Shocked doesn't even come close to how I felt.
I can remember telling DH and him laughed his head off. He wasnt laughing the next day when we had a scan.
2years on and sometimes I think I'm STILL in shock😂😂

Of course you have a choice. What would you say to a friend who was in this situation? Tell her to suck it up and get on with it, or tell her that this decision is hers and hers alone? Be kind to yourself.

I don't even have any friends with children. I have nieces and nephews but that's all. It's nice to hear of someone else who found out super late. I think my dp will also think I'm joking as he sometimes jokes about me being pregnant

Maybe your DP joking about you being pregnant is wishful thinking? In jest.

I hope it goes well when you tell him.

I'd like to say congratulations too, but it really depends on how you feel and that could take some time to work out. For some people, it's not something they want to be congratulated on.

You still have options for sure, but you do have to be as sure as you can that you won't regret something in the future (whatever you choose). You might want to consider some counselling if necessary. Abortions at this stage are different from those earlier on, but it's still a better option for some people who find out so late and absolutely do not want to continue with a pregnancy. (It's their body, their choice!)

Whatever you decide, I hope it all goes well for you. You have to get over the initial shock before you can really think clearly.

If you haven't had a scan, be aware that your gestation could be out by a number of weeks. (Probably not earlier but perhaps later)

@AllWasWell me and my partner of 10 years have found out we're expecting. Totally unplanned and I was so worried about telling him, he naturally was shocked but he's happy, he's now calling me mum and saying names for the baby etc

He also wants to be called King of the sperm 😂😂

What ever happens we are here for you x

The exact same thing happened to a girl I work with, she was particularly worried as obviously she’d carried on as normal drinking, smoking, eating the foods you’re advised not to etc. Her baby is perfect, and they are the happiest little family. Took her some time to get her head around it though.

Oh wow, op what a shock.

Whatever you decide, make sure it’s the outcome that YOU want