Tokophobia- did you manage to have a vaginal birth?

[stuckinmyownhead]

Hi all,

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant and I have tokophobia.

Sorry... I think I somehow clicked ‘post’ and didn’t mean to. I am 21 weeks pregnant and have tokophobia. This is my first pregnancy and the result of 4 rounds of IVF. I have previously had CBT to try to overcome my tokophobia (rather ironically, I had this before my husband and I started trying and before I knew we had fertility issues; I’ve had this tokophobia since I was about 12) but it didn’t really have much of an impact. I put my fears to the back of my mind for a few years to try to actually get pregnant, but now that I am pregnant, the fears are coming back and I get very physically stressed when I even think about a vaginal birth. I am due to meet a consultant in a few weeks to discuss birth options. My midwife has said that nobody will force me to have a vaginal birth if I can’t go through with it, but she said that, if I did want to try for a vaginal birth, I could ask for an early epidural and other things that might help me. I don’t particularly want to have a C Section as I am worried about the recovery and the risks, but at the same time, a vaginal birth doesn’t seem like something I can do. I am really willing to try to get my head into a place where a vaginal birth feels like an option, though.

I would love to hear from anyone who has/has had tokophobia and managed to have a vaginal birth, rather than opting for a C Section. How did you manage it? Did an early epidural help? Where there other things that the midwives/consultants did that made a vaginal birth feel doable for you? Any advice would be massively appreciated, as this is causing me quite a bit of anxiety.

Many thanks!

I don't think I would have said I have/had tokophobia but I just looked it up out of interest and realised I probably do have it. I gave birth 2 weeks ago and while I was calm leading up to the day as I knew I had to give birth one way or another (I have a bigger fear of operations so that helped keep me a bit calm in the lead up) on the day i ended up doing hypnotherapy and totally zoning out on thr gas and air. I didnt intend to but it just sort of happened. I honestly dont remember anything of the birth except from the beginning when I panicked and told the midwife I didn't want to go through with it. The baby came 15 minutes later apparently.

So if suggest possibly looking at do I g hypnobirthing. For me I had my DH think of a phrase only I would know to signal when the baby had been born so I could stop sucking on the gas and air but not to tell me in advance. The whole time I then focussed on one particular suction tube on the wall in front of me to stop me from going slightly mad (shouldn't really suck on gas and air continually but I had to otherwise it wore of too quickly to make a difference as my contractions were too close together). I also occasionally checked on my DH who was kneeling behind me holding my hand. This kept me grounded.

Hopefully someone else might come along with some more suggestions for you.

@stuckinmyownhead I know this post is from December but I too am terrified of giving birth and I’m 33 weeks pregnant. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and the thought of giving birth consumes my mind daily to the point I’m having panic attacks. How did you get on? Do you have any pointers you could give me at all? x