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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant women smoking

135 replies

Nat291 · 31/10/2017 01:13

I hate hate hate swing pregnant women smoke, I literally feel like screaming you selfish twat to them!!!!

I smoked a lot for 10 years and when we started trying for a baby stopped straight away, I fell pregnant straight away and have touched a cig since, currently 37 weeks, I don't even like to be near people that smoke.

Do these silly women not realise it could damage there unborn child!! Yes, in the old days everyone smoked while pregnant but now there is proof it harms a baby why would you even bother.

I saw a women in labour outside the hospital last week smoking a ciggy, takes all my strength not to say something.

Rant over 😂😂

OP posts:
KarateKitten · 01/11/2017 14:27

Thingy, give it a rest. Just because you can't imagine it doesn't mean it's not the reality for someone else. Mental health is not one size fits all or one cure fits all.

xxalexacxx · 01/11/2017 14:28

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xxalexacxx · 01/11/2017 14:29

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kjhh · 01/11/2017 14:32

@xxalexacxx I’m not saying I’m judging the situation - you can’t, same goes for if you were to see one drinking etc... it doesn’t make it right though. I’m not saying people don’t have problems at all because I accept it is completely difficult; what I don’t understand is how pregnancy is not enough to make a woman stop, that’s willpower for your child at the end of the day

xxalexacxx · 01/11/2017 14:33

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LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 01/11/2017 14:33

I find it really hard to understand how my sister could try to commit suicide on numerous occasions. To me it seems selfish, ungrateful and stupid. BUT then the compassionate part of my brain kicks in and reminds me that I have absolutely no idea what she is going through - no way of understanding how desperate she is. I guess this is why I am just a little more hesitant to judge people who are doing something which may at first glance appear selfish and stupid.

LynzyG · 01/11/2017 14:34

Personally, I wouldn’t smoke during my pregnancy, but Iv never smoked so cant relate to what other people are feeling.
Ultimately, I do my best to have a healthy baby, and I focus on myself and my little one.
If other people choose to smoke/drink or whatever else, then that’s up to them. I wouldn’t judge anybody for the way they choose to live their life. I probably do loads of other things other people wouldn’t necessarily agree with but I don’t expect to be judged by people who don’t know me.

xxalexacxx · 01/11/2017 14:35

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JumpingJellybeanz · 01/11/2017 14:35

I wonder which is more harmful, smoking when pregnant or being raised by someone who revels in judgment and lacks basic empathy for others.

xxalexacxx · 01/11/2017 14:36

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KarateKitten · 01/11/2017 14:36

Kjhh, you'd think having a child is enough to stop many people from the many bad things they do. But clearly it isnt. People (including you and I) are very much victims of circumstance and being pregnant/having a child unfortunately doesn't override problems with addiction, overeating, bad diets, mental health problems, being in bad relationships, having a bad temper, not knowing what a good role model is etc etc.

Maybe if you can accept that people really don't have the control over themselves that we all think we do you might be able to judge a little less.

guest477337 · 01/11/2017 14:37

@JumpingJellybeanz your all acting like you never judge people, can you honestly say throughout your life you have judged someone in your head once??

guest477337 · 01/11/2017 14:38

@JumpingJellybeanz also where have you read from my comments no empathy? I've repeatedly said I don't agree with it but don't know people's back stories. I admitted I didn't think about that before writing the post, please read all comments before commenting with that crap.

kjhh · 01/11/2017 14:40

@KarateKitten I’m not judging anyone, I have said I accept that people are entitled to their own opinions and able to do what they please. I also accept in can be hard. I just don’t understand how you couldn’t want to do it that’s all - for years I haven’t/couldn’t quit smoking but I was able to just throw it away because i had a new priority. I’ve not had a go at anyone but I am just as entitled to my opinion 🙄

Onyourtoes · 01/11/2017 14:43

It could be viewed as selfish and I know what you mean. It is associated with low birth weight risk of still birth etc I think.
But then so could being overweight and pregnant be classed as a bad decision on the mothers part as this can also have bad outcomes for the baby (I don’t think this but some people may think of it in the same way - poor maternal health, bad impact on baby).
I ate a cake every day in my pregnancy and far too many fizzy jellies. This could be just as bad for baby as smoking I guess. So since I’m not perfect I wouldn’t feel in a position to judge.
I take a live and let live appproach to these things.
The only time I ever feel annoyed is when I hear women complaining Their gp or midwife advised them to make better lifestyle decisions. As it is their healthcare professionals business, but not the business of a stranger.

UnbornMortificado · 01/11/2017 14:49

There are no buts, ifs, ands and howevers about this. You either believe women can make their own decisions about their own bodies, whether pregnant or not, or you don't.

Just this.

I stopped completely when we started trying, DS still ended up coming 12 weeks early and as a result is on oxygen.

Sometimes you can do everything right and still end up with problems.

KarateKitten · 01/11/2017 14:57

Sorry Kjhh, my post started out responding to you but my last paragraph was a royal 'you' as in 'people'.

Onyourtoes · 01/11/2017 14:59

Unborn I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I hope your ds is doing ok.
Some people can do everything right and bad things happen which seems really unfair. But the fact is that bad things are more likely to happen if you do smoke.
If women choose to do this that’s up to them as long as it is an informed decision.

MagicMoneyTree · 01/11/2017 19:22

I mean, I’ve never touched a cig in my life, so I could look at you with your 10-year track record and call you a twat for putting all that crap into your body and possibly doing irreversible damage that will have lasting implications for your future children. What if you’re diagnosed with lung cancer in 10 years time and your kids have to watch you go through chemo, come and visit you in hospital, lose their mum... all because you smoked for 10 years and didn’t give a shit? I wouldn’t do that because I’m far from perfect myself. Just pointing out how other people could easily pass judgement on you. Not very nice is it?

guest477337 · 01/11/2017 20:19

@MagicMoneyTree judge away love, it's really doesn't bother me as I don't really care what other people think 😃

xxalexacxx · 02/11/2017 09:28

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xxalexacxx · 02/11/2017 10:53

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guest477337 · 02/11/2017 10:58

@xxalexacxx haha I did wonder then x

meltingmarshmallows · 02/11/2017 13:54

I get there can be different circumstances which mean a woman could be distressed and having one fag in a horrendous moment but it annoys me these scenarios are always suggested on these threads, as if that’s the likely situation.

The past two times I’ve been to the antenatal unit there have been women outside smoking. I know they’re not upset or distressed because they’ve proceeded to strike up a convo with me as we walk inside.

There are quite literally always heavily pregnant women smoking outside the unit and I think it’s appalling. But I wouldn’t say anything. I appreciate we have bodily autonomy but that doesn’t mean it can’t be considered a really selfish decision.

PencilsInSpace · 02/11/2017 20:36

10% of pregnant women are still smoking at the time of delivery - not because they 'choose' to smoke through pregnancy, or make a 'decision' to, or because they don't want to quit for the sake of their child. They have just, for whatever reason, been unable to quit. Almost without exception they will have tried.

For many women, pregnancy gives their willpower enough of a boost to manage it, but that's not the same for everybody. There are loads of factors which affect how easy or difficult quitting will be for any individual, just as there are loads of factors which influence how likely they are to have started smoking in the first place.

Smoking is the biggest cause of health inequalities in the UK. Smoking is far more prevalent among poor people and is particularly prevalent among people with MH issues, unemployed people, homeless people, prisoners and former prisoners, people who have been in care, lone parents, people with no qualifications, gay men and lesbians.

The more disadvantaged someone is, the more likely they are to smoke and to suffer from smoking-related disease and premature death.

Disadvantaged smokers are also less likely to be able to successfully quit. Again, on the whole, this is not because they don't want to quit. It's because on average, they will have started smoking younger, will smoke more per day and will be more heavily addicted than more advantaged smokers. They're also far more likely to be surrounded by other smokers.

The highest rates of smoking are consistently found among those who are most disadvantaged. People whose control over their daily lives is highly constrained and who do not have the resources and opportunities to thrive are most likely to be smokers and least likely to take the necessary steps to quit. (ASH)

So when you judge these women, you're most probably punching down.

Not only that, it doesn't work. It does nothing to lower that 10% statistic. Pretty much everybody who could possibly be shamed into quitting smoking has already quit. The ones who are left, who are ever more concentrated in the disadvantaged groups outlined above, are not impervious to shame. They feel ashamed just as much as wealthier smokers with more stable lives, it just doesn't help them quit.

Not only does it not work, it makes quitting even harder. Because they now have two problems - they can't quit smoking and they are living with a deep sense of shame. It makes it harder to ask for help if you fear being yet again judged. It makes it harder to care about your health or wellbeing at all if you are repeatedly told you are a smelly, selfish, stupid arsehole, yet feel powerless to change. Sometimes it leads to a kind of brazen 'fuck you' bravado - the 'defiant' smoker.

And when it comes to pregnant smokers, all those problems caused by shaming and stigma are made so much worse. We need a different approach if we are going to increase the number of women who successfully quit in pregnancy and thus make inroads into that 10% figure.

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