Pregnant women smoking

[Nat291]

I hate hate hate swing pregnant women smoke, I literally feel like screaming you selfish twat to them!!!!

I smoked a lot for 10 years and when we started trying for a baby stopped straight away, I fell pregnant straight away and have touched a cig since, currently 37 weeks, I don't even like to be near people that smoke.

Do these silly women not realise it could damage there unborn child!! Yes, in the old days everyone smoked while pregnant but now there is proof it harms a baby why would you even bother.

I saw a women in labour outside the hospital last week smoking a ciggy, takes all my strength not to say something.

Rant over 😂😂

And women, thankfully, have bodily autonomy

Thinking (knowing) it is bad is not the same thing as being judgmental.

I judge. And think it’s disgusting. I know 3 women who smoked through pregnancy just as much as they’d done before.
One child has got SEN, another a list of health issues they were born with and the last baby didn’t live to be a year old.

Maybe this is a particularly unfortunate batch but I’m full of contempt for people poisoning innocent, unborn children.

I hate smoking, detest it, but not a lot you can do about it and none of your business.

Whilst it doesn't offend me, I do find it very very odd.
Agree that no one is perfect but come on ....there's a big difference between sneaking out in your back garden for one when stressed and smoking in public, especially outside a hospital!

I'm not addicted to anything so maybe its easy for me to say, but if a crack addict on the Louis Theroux documentary can quit for the sake of her baby, then I can't see why smokers can't do the same thing?

@Atenco out of six children two were born dangerously underweight and now are very small for there age.

And the other child had issues with one development which resulted in them having there legs broken and pinned back into place, all this was due to smoking as the doctors said. I'm not a doctor so it could be other issues but this is what she was told.

I agree each to there own and it's there own body but the child has its own body and deserves a fighting chance.

Thank you for taking the time to answer guest477337

While I have personally never smoked and never felt the need for it, your attitude, OP, is just one of the many reasons I am so glad I never had children. For you pregnancy is a blessing for others its a curse.

I get the strong impression that many people feel that the moment a woman gets pregnant her body no longer belongs to her. I couldn't stand it and would want to be drunk for the whole 9 months of it.

Also, its another unfair sexist double standard. Using any sort of mood altering substances has the potential to damage your DNA, which you then pass on to your offspring. Yet, somehow only women are taken to task for this and men get a pass for supplying sub-par sperm. Nice.

Obviously smoking while pregnant isn't ideal.

Smoking at all isn't ideal, especially anywhere near children. But I had hideous, hideous postnatal depression and in the darkest days, I used to smoke while ds napped. I thought it was better than throwing myself out a window.

I used to walk ds in his pram to the park and pray that he fell asleep. I would then walk as far away from him as I could and make sure the wind was blowing the smoke away from him. Then I used to smoke and cry and wonder what on earth had happened to me.

I look back now and can't believe how bad things were. I still feel guilty for smoking then but there are worse things I could have done.

I love how the comparison with cheese or qthe odd glass of wine is trotted out on these threads even though there is clearly no comparison.

The odd glass of wine is probably "worse" than the odd cigarette when pregnant though. But alcohol consumption is much more socially acceptable than smoking in this country hence no one has too many qualms with the glass of wine thing.

Lorelai I did similar, with both DC. And during due to antenatal depression. Don't beat yourself up about it. Especially now those days are gone!

Thanks LittleWingSoul. I think some people fail to realise that, through no fault of their own, pregnancy and being a new mum can be the darkest days of some peoples' lives. Obviously smoking is bad and I would never advocate it. But one thing I've learned the hard way is that other people's behaviour when they are struggling and suffering will sometimes offend your principles or make you uncomfortable but compassion sees beyond that.

Never been more ashamed than when I went to meet my sister at hospital to drop her hospital bag off whilst she was in labour and she was stood out the front in her jamas having a cigarette.
I smoked but also gave up when we decided we want a family.
Don't care if it's judgemental, I think it's bloody awful and if the want to give birth to a healthy child isn't enough to make you quit then in my opinion that's a massive issue.
I wish more people were judgemental rather than saying "mind your own business" maybe then less would do it.
Me and my sis both had terrible childhood asthma which I put down to the fact that both our parents smoked constantly including in the house / car.

If they want to smoke then they are going to. You think that you going up and having a go at them is going to make a difference. Every health visitor and doctor and midwife they see will tell them to quit. If they don't listen to them they won't listen to you

Around 10% of all pregnant women are still smoking at the time of delivery.

The challenge is to help them to quit and for that they need support, not judgment. Wouldn't it be great if MN was a source of support that could help pregnant women to quit smoking?

As it is, many people here are part of the problem. Shame on you.

I smoked when I was pregnant with my first. I was just 20 and had escaped from a violent and abusive home into a violent and abusive marriage. It was the darkest time of my life. Manipulated into being pregnant and being abused the whole time. Woken in the middle of the night being kicked and and elbowed and told over and over again that I was fat, that I was ugly, that nobody loved me, that I was disgusting, that my baby would be born dead, that I'd die screaming in agony during childbirth. Every. Single. Night.

So yeah, maybe I was selfish, disgraceful, disgusting and all the other judgmental shit being spouted on here. But finding the willpower to break an addiction when you dream about being dead is pretty much impossible.

@pencil How are mumsnetters part of the problem out of interest?
I'm pretty sure that smokers are offered a lot of support to quit smoking, I know I was without even being pregnant!
So not sure how mn offering support will help them quit if they've ignored all the help offered from doctors, consultants and midwives ?! Or am I missing something...
I get that some people have shit lives and therefore smoke.
I also feel sorry for their unborn kids that didn't choose to smoke.
I think the problem is people excusing it!

I don't understand why people think, "Your baby, your business" and tell you to butt out, but it's not alright to overlook a child's welfare once they're actually born. If someone is smoking crack during their pregnancy, people care, but if someone smokes, "Mind your own business!"

Bizarre.

People who smoke during pregnancy are gross.

You don’t see pregnant women outside the hospital doors eating Camembert though so you?
If they are that desperate to smoke they are doing it on hospital grounds it’s not the odd one is it?

And the other child had issues with one development which resulted in them having there legs broken and pinned back into place, all this was due to smoking as the doctors said. I'm not a doctor so it could be other issues but this is what she was told.

If the doctors truly told her that then they should be struck off.

Low birth weight, yes. Increased risk of still birth, yes. SIDS, yes. Allergies, asthma, glue ear, respiratory problems, heart problems ... yes, yes, bla bla bla.

Having to have your legs broken and then pinned back into place - no, that did not happen because the mother smoked. Fuck off with your strange, evidence-free scare stories. All you're doing is making those 10% of pregnant women feel more scared, more guilty, less able to admit they smoke, less able to ask for help.

Why are you doing this?

Would a pregnancy be a blessing if it was as the result of rape? I get that for you it is an amazing thing OP but that isn't the case for everyone and frankly, if you think it 'should' be then you need to pull your head out of your arse

Okay, so some women smoke because they are having a tough time etc but many many women who smoke during pregnancy are doing it because they want to and don't want to give up. As an ex smoker I really don't understand how smoking helps people be less stressed, it's nonsense. I believe that's true whether pregnant or not.

@PencilsInSpace is was due to bones not delevloping properly, she therefore lumped through most of her childhood and eventually had them broken and pinned into place to stop her liming as bad. No need to be so aggressive.

I've also never once said I'd go up to anybody and tell them what to do, it's just what I feel but obviously everyone will have different opinions about this which I accept.

There’s a positive correlation between smoking and stillbirth as well. Plenty of academic studies available on it so not hearsay.
I am pro choice but of the opinion that is you decide to have a baby you should try and look after it and not do something that is so detrimental to it’s health.
Are the people that are ok with it also ok with pregnant women doing drugs too?

Limping I meant to say sorry my spells is horrific!

I smoked now and again during my dark days of antenatal and post natal depression. I'm lucky i only felt i needed one or two a day max, but i would never judge because of this. If i hadn't smoked i would probably have hurt myself in other ways. Let's educate ourselves about the risk we run by smoking but everyone's experience of pregnancy and parenting is different. For women who are going through trauma it really can be the lesser evil for both woman and unborn.