What if I can't do the NCT classes?

[FrostyPopThePenguinLord]

First baby due in early March, I'm having a C section and we were thinking the other day that we have absolutely no idea how to actually keep a child alive.
We know we feed it and change it etc, but how often, how much, when are things supposed to happen, we are having a bit of a flap because all the baby books are alarmingly vague and don't want to commit to specific instructions as such.
So I looked up NCT classes in our area, the only one available in the time we have left is a 19 hour course. 2 thirds of which focuses on labour and delivey. We thought fine, lets do that and just zone out the stuff that doesn't apply to our case, no problem.....then my husband saw how much it costs....he said hell no. Not paying that much to sit there and the majority of the stuff not be relevant.
I see where he is coming from and I do agree....however I have much younger siblings and helped with their care slightly so I at least can change a nappy and hold a baby properly etc.....he is an only child and has never even held a baby in his life. I'm worried that we won't cope without some instruction.
We are not poor by any means but he is incredibly careful with money and we are also saving up for a house deposit, so he refuses to spend that much on a third of a course. I can't blame him, I'm on sick pay due to hyperemis so money is a bit tighter than usual, plus Christmas and many birthdays coming up for our huge families. Plus lots of baby stuff still to buy, although we are being thrifty with that as far as possible.
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I can't find any free courses in the area, we are not entitled to any benefits and to be honest I'm probably looking in the wrong place. I'm planning to ask my midwife for more info at my 25 week chec, but I know courses can fill up fast. We are not adverse to paying at all, but just not that much for so much time that won't be useful to us.
We just want a crash course in child care. I'm as well versed as I can be about C sections and childbirth without actually having had one yet so the birth part isn't our priority. She might also be born a bit early due to potential placenta issues so we are aware time could be a factor.

Does anyone know of any types of class in the Somerset/Dorset area that are not NCT or heavily childbirth based. As I said I'll ask my midwife but it's just one less thing to worry about.

We did the nhs classes. They were not practical at all. Dh and I didn't have much of a clue about looking after a baby before we went...and not much of a clue afterwards.
However we have managed to keep d's alive for 19 years...
Try not to worry about it!

There are Baby apps that you can get to record breastfeeds so you can time them, and end up getting to know what is normal etc. I use Baby Tracker even now for naps.

If you’re off already and feel up to it, walk to your nearest children’s centre and just have a chat with the receptionist (I did this a lot when I was new to an area with DS as a newborn). She will be able to give you their classes and sessions list, so you can put your name down for baby massage etc and get an idea of your week. The children’s centres often run a Saturday group for dads also.

I did daisy foundation birthing classes which were awesome - they ran a full day session for parents so they may have a franchise in your area. It is focusing on natural labour so may not be what you need. But again, chance to meet people beforehand and much cheaper than nct.

Your midwife at birth will teach DH how to hold Baby, how to dress and do nappies. If you’re in after CSection you may even have the first bath there.

Hope that helps reassure you in some way x

How warm does reheated milk have to be?

Our baby will actually take it at any temperature including out of the fridge.

How hot is too hot for a bath?

38 degrees is the right temperature - check with a thermometer if you are worried.

How do you know when they are unhappy or just need feeding?

After a few days we learned to recognise our baby's different cries. I've also read the hungry cry described as unrelenting and won't stop until baby is fed, which is true! It's just trial and error, try everything!

I would suggest not timing breastfeeds tbh. It doesn't actually tell you much that's useful, as a baby can be at the breast but not actively feeding - they can pause, rest and so on. So one feed of 10 mins might be completely different to another 10min feed. Plus you can get hung up and anxious about timings when it isn't really important. I guess what I'm saying is that I think breastfeeding works best if you just feed on demand and go with the flow.

Our DC had a built in 'gauge' to say when DC was full.
At the start of the feed, tense arms and fingers. During feed gradual relaxation. When full the arms went floppy and started to doze off.
Now as a late teenager DC can navigate the fridge and cooker.

I'd still recommend doing a class and meeting other parents to be if your DH lets you. I think it's so important to have a group of peers to bounce ideas off, and who are going through the same stuff at the same time. Our class' whatsapp group was invaluable to be able to ask questions and share ideas - especially during those 3am feeds when no-one else is up - and just for general moral support!

For breastfeeding I recommend that you both read 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding'. Ignore the slightly odd title, it was first written a long time ago but it has been updated regularly. I found it a life saver!

^^YY to reading 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding'- you will get a lot of information from that. Penelope Leach's book is also a good basic guide to baby and child care.

But generally, stay away from the baby books, especially anything that advocates putting young babies in a strict routine. Feed baby when they are hungry (with a newborn, this is likely to be every couple of hours round the clock), make sure you follow the safe sleep guidelines, keep baby reasonably clean and have lots and lots of cuddles. It's not really any more complicated than that.

We booked a place on an NCT course but decided against doing it as it was all day on a Saturday for a few weeks and didn’t really fit in with our schedules. Plus it was about £250 and we just felt it was too much money.

We did the free NHS ones, midwife recommended them and we started them when I was about 34 weeks.

They were ok, two hours in the evening, once a week for a month.

To be honest, when the baby arrived we still didn’t feel prepared and had no clue what we were doing - you just learn!

Just do the NHS classes. I had a sect, that's what I did. Made great friends

I was, like your husband, an only child who had never so much as held a baby. I didn't take any classes for the obvious reason that they would be an epic waste of time. Regarding labour I read a few bits and pieces fro medical textbooks so that I was aware of what was going on. As regards to taking care of a baby I just took basic instructions (feed and clean every four hours as a minimum) from the midwives at the hospital. Everything was fine.

I think the NHS classes are very variable in how much they cover and what friend-making opportunities you get. Ours was only 2 x 2hr sessions, almost entirely about labour/birth, with a bit on breastfeeding but nothing else on childcare in general. The sessions were pretty packed with activities and not much chance for general chit-chat or socialising, so not unsurprisingly, I never saw anyone from them again. Other people clearly had different experiences!

In all fairness there is a lot of focus on natural labour and childbirth in general rather than how to look after a baby. There isn't much about childcare or routines etc at all.

I did, however, find it useful for making friends in the area and we discussed all the other bits over coffees when the babies had arrived!

I didn’t do any. Had an EMCS. He’s currently lobbing his toy trains all over the floor. I had no experience with newborns and certainly no idea about overnight or what they needed to do and when. You just get on with it.

Our cot was from ikea and still going strong. We got his travel system in the sale and other things were kindly lent or bought for us.

It’ll be fine! And when it isn’t ask here 😊