Fetal alcohol syndrome, risks?. And a general rant!

[Pinky333777]

I'm feeling guilty and having mixed feelings on consuming alcohol while pregnant.
Of course it's obviously best to avoid alcohol completely, but I think I've been ignoring or blocking out potential risks. Just so I can enjoy a glass of wine once a week.
How selfish of me.

I've just come off the phone with DP - who up until now has been okay with my occasional beverage - and he asked me if I were attending a friends party this weekend. Which I am. And he asked me if I will be drinking. I said I may have a glass, yes.
He's now of the opinion I should be completely avoiding alcohol.
I know deep down this is for the best and now feel guilty for having been drinking in the past.
I also selfishly feel sad this is another thing I can't do.
I'm being childish - I see that - I'm just feeling put out by all the 'can't dos and can't haves'
I tried to buy some clothes in a couple of shops recently. Neither had a maternity section. So I can't shop in normal shops.
I'm not allowed to ride my bike.
Or my scooter.
I can't do the escape rooms we hoped to do last weekend, or the Halloween celebrations at theme parks.
Can't enjoy my favourite cheese, or a cheeky cigarette.
I feel like a child always being told no and I want to strop about it 😃

Anyway, back on topic, sort of.
How much of a risk does a glass a week pose to an unborn baby?
Do you think I might have already caused damage??

I wish I had just quit completely and not been so niave and ignorant 😐
Anyone else struggling with this topic?

Not much and mo probably not
When I was pregnant the recommendations weren't zero and most people did drink a little. Obviously the recommendations have changed but the risks in are not large

I think that if it's a glass a week, it's fine. I wouldn't be beating yourself up. And although you're annoyed about all this stuff you still haven't done it so.....

The alcohol nazi's will be here shortly so hold onto your hat.

Move to where I live. Here you can have one glass a week but no dried meats.

I think one unit a week is meant to be ok.

I didn't feel like drinking during my pregnancies though. Haribos were my poison.

No I don't think that will harm your baby if it is actually just one glass of wine a month and you're not on spirits or something, although I wouldn't risk it regardless I'm sure your baby will be fine.
You're moaning about pretty standard stuff in pregnancy though, it's just 9 months of self control, throwing a strop won't stop your doctor from giving you sound advice

The book "expecting better" goes through the evidence for the guidelines pretty well and is worth a look.

Cigarettes definitely worth avoiding. Occasional glass (125ml) unlikely to be a problem although actual troublesome dose unknown. Certainly no mileage in worrying about a portion of trifle or stew with booze in it once in a while. Runny eggs OK if lion stamped and in date.

Never heard this about bike. Exercise wise cycling is pretty good although depending on your traffic and balance can be wise to move to spinning I guess.

Maternity clothes are a pain in the arse. Jojomamanbebe has the best on the ground selection I find, although decent sized h&m and topshop have a few bits. Otherwise Internet shopping, or just size up.

I had a small glass of champagne or beer a week. My consultant and midwife told me it was fine in moderation. Why can't you ride your bike?

I think you’re always going to get 2 opinions on this subject.

I love my wine and still had the occasional glass when I was pregnant but must admit didn’t really enjoy it. Was v relieved when I could have a guilt free drink again

I had a couple of glasses a week (guidelines different back then - but I believe the latest advice is that small amounts are perfectly OK) and I cycled until quite late in both pregnancies. Why can't you ride your bike?

And, no, your alcohol consumption to date probably has zero risk attached to it. Although no doubt someone will be along in a moment to declare ANY alcohol in pregnancy to be utterly abhorrent.

It'll be fine, provided we're really talking one (small!) glass and once a week. The evidence is really equivocal at that level; we're definitely not talking foetal alcohol syndrome, the issue is whether or not we're talking subtle effects that can only be seen statistically (not in individuals). That's really hard to research not least because you're dependent on people telling you what they drank, so some of those "one glass"es were actually half bottles, and some of those "once a week"s were actually every other day. Ultimately you decide, but one small glass at a party not more than once a week wouldn't worry me.

Some of the other stuff you "can't" do seems a bit OTT too. I didn't ride a bike when pregnant (because I didn't when not pregnant...) but plenty of people do. If you're competent and want to why not? As at any time you might fall off, but you can't eliminate all risk, the exercise is good for you, and the baby is well protected in there.

You need to look up the research for fetal alcohol syndrome if you are worried.
But I think you have to drink at certain critical points and also quite a bit of alcohol.
I suppose that there are various degrees of it too.
Drugs and medicine are also a worry too.
I think if you are worried about it then you are probably fine! It’s the ones who don’t think and don’t care.

The guidelines when I was pregnant were 1-2 units of alcohol 1-2 times a week, which I followed (not as a guide but as a limit, didn't feel I had to)!

Then I moved to France at 6 months pregnant and the midwife said one small glass of wine a day was fine and that 'most' pregnant women under her care would have this!

I struck the balance somewhere in between. My 14 year old is happy, healthy and top stream for everything. I get that my anecdotal evidence is largely irrelevant - however my understanding of the research done is that FAS is found in babies/children of mothers who have alcohol issues/binge drink. I believe (having had this discussion with a doctor friend) that the zero tolerance rule was largely bought in so there were no grey areas and to reduce the risk in women who can't stop once they have started or who would take 'you can drink' as a green light to drink more/would misunderstand/deliberately mis-interpret the previous guidelines.

I don't think you have been naive or ignorant, I am fascinated that you ride a scooter and want to go to the theme park for Halloween though, they are the only things that make you sound like a child ;)

I have a friend who was cycling up until the weekend before she gave birth! And I did an escape room when I was around 28 weeks or so, not sure what the problem is with that?

My doctor told me FAS 'more likely' to be an issue with people who continue drinking to excess and binge drinking. There are people whose babies are affected by a small amount but 1 glass a week shouldn't do any harm tbh.

You aren't an awful person or anything. Pregnancy is bloody hard. Im sure you are doing a great job and it won't be long until baby is here. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

A glass a week poses zero risk. None at all, and anyone who tells you otherwise has an agenda.
No reason you shouldn't ride a bike, or a scooter. I don't see the issue with escape rooms or the like either. I'd eat the cheese.

the list of "stuff people think you shouldn't do while pregnant" is very long, but most of it can be completely ignored.

@Knottybeams are you not supposed to have food with alcohol? I use ale and wine to cook with regularly, I’m teetotal but thought the alcoholic content went with cooking (sorry if I sound completely dumb.) 38 weeks tomorrow and have steak and ale in the slow cooker now ready for a pie tomorrow 😬

I drank 1-2 units a week, ate loads of cheese (Stilton is fine, also lots of baked Camembert!), rode my bike, did an escape room, went camping in the desert after a 4x4 ride. I agree you can't do everything but I actually didn't find it as restrictive as I thought I would and it's not forever. As I was only drinking once a week I tended to make it rather lovely champagne! Buy the small bottles...

You know you are only pregnant for 40 weeks right? All these things you are 'missing' will come round again.

However, have you given thought to how having a small child will change your life going forward? There will be lots of things you can't do/ have to bail out of early etc because of the needs of the child. Everything becomes more complicated and less spontaneous. It's one thing resenting being pregnant, but it would be a shame if you resent your baby in the same way.

You have to drink a hell of a lot for fetal alcohol syndrome to develop. People with drink problems tend to lie about their consumption so the figures are skewed. They are not even reliable figures. There has never been a controlled study and there never will be. Use your common sense. A glass or two drunk slowly is fine. I drank pretty much every day after 12 weeks.

I agree things become more complicated but having a child doesn't stop you doing things, unless you want it to.

I don’t understand why you can’t take part in an escape room? I’ve done some and they’re just puzzle solving - I had to operate a remote control car and shoot a pellet gun in one but that’s about as action packed as it got.

I'm with lowdoor. It does change everything, although, to be fair, it's probably easier to give stuff up when you have an actual tangible person to do it for!

I was excited to eat soft cheese again...and then my baby had a milk protein allergy. No soft cheese for me. Boohoo. The sushi tasted amazing though, after ten months without.

I would say that you should stop the one glass of wine purely because it's making you anxious. I expect it's fine, but why put that stress on yourself?

i craved beer when i was pregnant ! i used to have the zero alcoholic brand , i did get some funny looks in pubs sitting there with a pint and a huge bump !

my midwife said it was ok to have half (of regular beer )once a week but i didn't .

I did have a glass of champagne at my friend's wedding though when i was around 5 months .

if you like the taste could you switch to zero alcohol wine? ( disclaimer : i have not tasted it )

I think the main problem is that they they don’t know how much is safe because they can’t do research where they have one group of mums drink and one not not then see what happens to the baby.
It’s pretty clear that a lot of alcohol is unsafe but I think the odd glass of wine is probably fine and it’s a personal decision at the end of the day.
I can understand how you feel, I felt quite frustrated in pregnancy that I couldn’t do the things I used to do to relieve stress like high intensity gym workouts, clubs (I was paranoid of being elbowed in the tummy) or drink.