Fetal alcohol syndrome, risks?. And a general rant!

[Pinky333777]

I'm feeling guilty and having mixed feelings on consuming alcohol while pregnant.
Of course it's obviously best to avoid alcohol completely, but I think I've been ignoring or blocking out potential risks. Just so I can enjoy a glass of wine once a week.
How selfish of me.

I've just come off the phone with DP - who up until now has been okay with my occasional beverage - and he asked me if I were attending a friends party this weekend. Which I am. And he asked me if I will be drinking. I said I may have a glass, yes.
He's now of the opinion I should be completely avoiding alcohol.
I know deep down this is for the best and now feel guilty for having been drinking in the past.
I also selfishly feel sad this is another thing I can't do.
I'm being childish - I see that - I'm just feeling put out by all the 'can't dos and can't haves'
I tried to buy some clothes in a couple of shops recently. Neither had a maternity section. So I can't shop in normal shops.
I'm not allowed to ride my bike.
Or my scooter.
I can't do the escape rooms we hoped to do last weekend, or the Halloween celebrations at theme parks.
Can't enjoy my favourite cheese, or a cheeky cigarette.
I feel like a child always being told no and I want to strop about it 😃

Anyway, back on topic, sort of.
How much of a risk does a glass a week pose to an unborn baby?
Do you think I might have already caused damage??

I wish I had just quit completely and not been so niave and ignorant 😐
Anyone else struggling with this topic?

Thanks for all the thoughts xx
The bike and scooter thing is because of balance, you're centre of gravity changes and will apparently make me unsteady - just something I've picked up from books and Google.
Maybe it's time to stop paying so much attention to all that and go with what I'm comfortable with x

Hehe, I ride a scooter because I nanny for 7 children and we all often zoom to the park on our scooters.
I might be 37, but I'm still a big kid 😄

I've been a bit down and fed up lately. Having a baby is all I've ever wanted. I should remember that!

I think you’re right to go with what you’re comfortable with. Re bike riding - yes, your centre of gravity has changed but you won’t necessarily be significantly less stable. I’ve friends who ran/cycled right til the end and much as there are small risks involved, there are also benefits in maintaining your fitness and mental health.

It's not what you asked but escape rooms should be fine unless you're heavily pregnant. Although it might depend which one you do. For most things I'd just use your common sense to evaluate the known risks.

I went out for dinner with a friend recently who unexpectedly brought her friend who is a consultant obstetrician. I have had approximately 4 small glasses of wine in this pregnancy at special occasions but really fancied a glass of wine at dinner. I asked her "as an obstetrician, will you judge me if I have a glass of wine?". Her response was "hell no! Enjoy!" She then said that when she is pregnant she will still continue drinking in moderation and she doesn't know any other obstetricians who completely ban alcohol during their own pregnancies. She has only come across a couple of cases of foetal alcohol syndrome and those women were drinking bottles of spirits everyday all throughout pregnancy. Also, my friend drank at least 2-3 glasses of wine 2-3 times a week throughout pregnancy and her son is 3 now and the picture of health.
@Pinky333777 if your partner wants you to stop drinking, ensure he stops drinking too.

Scooting is fine!! Goodness me. Cycling also fine if you are used to it. A glass of wine a week is also fine.

I believe one is glass a week is fine. I personally haven't and wouldn't drink while pregnant but that's just me.

Expecting Better is the book for you.

I have had wine throughout my pregnancy, similar amounts to you. I also cycle 18 miles per day (29 weeks preg at the moment), lift weights, exercise, and eat medium steak.

Hey op. There was a new 'study of studies' which confirmed that no alcohol is best. HOWEVER...I have had the odd glass of wine or porter regardless.

The argument is that alcohol will be absorbed into your amniotic fluid and will then be 'recycled' by the baby for a bit unlike you who get rid of it straight away.

Honestly though...as a hold of the 1980's with a mum who drank semi regularly...I don't think it harmed me much!!!

Do as you feel you should. Just keep it moderate maybe :)

I thought the study of studies showed that 1-2 glasses once or twice a week was fine? Mumsnet posted it on facebook

I'm sure you'll be fine OP. I'm 16 weeks and haven't had any yet, but fully intend to enjoy the odd glass over Christmas, taste OH's drinks from now on etc.

Btw, I completely understand what you mean about pregnancy. It's a bit shit, really, isn't it. I'm carrying a much wanted baby, and I've been so lucky not to have suffered badly. And DH is great and perfectly supportive. But I'm still a bit bitter about how my life has changed already whereas his hasn't at all.

It’s your body and your choice, not your DP’s.

Totally disagree with “having a child doesn't stop you doing things, unless you want it to.”

Babies with FAS are born to some mothers who are alcoholics, not even all mothers who are alcoholics. Society is bullying women on this point and making them worry about something most of them don't need to worry about

The odd glass of wine probably won't do any harm but I guess you have to be comfortable with your decision should your child have any issues.

Our DC has a development disorder and one of the questions the pediatrician asked me was how much alcohol I consumed during pregnancy. I was relieved I could say zero.

I LOVE my wine (and beer and gin!) but only have one or two over the whole pregnancy. I really think you have to stop thinking about what you're missing out on...it's only 9 months out of your life!

I read that you would need to have the equivalent of a bottle a night to risk FAS, it generally is alcoholics who give this to their children.

That said I was tee total during pregnancy. I'm a all or nothing lass. I would go to the party have had soft drinks, I wouldn't let it restrict me in social aspects, but I wouldn't drink either

@LapinR0se This is a brand new one and no dice. I'll see if can find it. I was a bit annoyed by it!!!

Here we are: www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/no-scientists-didnt-say-drinking-alcohol-while-pregnant-is-okay/

The link to the study should be here. I commented arguing surely the odd glass was fine and got BLASTED!!!! It was hilarious and also very annoying.

The odd glass of wine probably won't do any harm but I guess you have to be comfortable with your decision should your child have any issues

An odd glass of wine categorically does not and cannot do any harm. All this "no safe limit" stuff is bollocks. We KNOW that the odd drink does not cause FAS.
If your child has any issues it is nothing to do with the odd glass of wine, and implying to people that it might do and therefore is their own fault is both inaccurate and offensive. Not to mention cruel.

I drank pretty much every day after 12 weeks.

Pregnant or not, I think once you're drinking alcohol every single day you've got a problem with alcohol.

Pregnant or not, I think once you're drinking alcohol every single day you've got a problem with alcohol

Nonsense. Glass of wine with dinner (and lunch actually) is perfectly normal in many countries, and is not indicative of a problem with or addiction to alcohol.

I'm being childish - I see that - I'm just feeling put out by all the 'can't dos and can't haves

Having a child radically changes your life. For the next 18 ish years there are going to be things you can’t do because you have a child.

Being a Nanny doesn’t mean you understand what it’s like to have your own child, it’s not the same.

There’s life before you were a parent and there’s life after. There’s no going back.

It might be worth starting to think about this otherwise you might find it difficult after the baby is born.

The well being of the child comes first. Always. Forever.

Might as well start now.

Having a child radically changes your life. For the next 18 ish years there are going to be things you can’t do because you have a child

Like what? Its' not like its a completely different life. Things change of course but why do people act as if its like moving to a different country where you don't speak the language?

messy is your life exactly the same as it was pre children?

You have impromptu nights out, long lies in and holidays wherever and when ever you like?
You stroll out the door on your own in the morning without a thought?
Your household budgets haven’t changed? Your saving priorities haven’t changed?
You can watch any TV programme or film whenever you like without a thought of who might see it?
You can leave the iron on in the middle of the room or the dog unsupervised?
You can work late anytime you please without planning or letting anyone know?
Your relationship with your parents, in laws, friends etc are all exactly the same.
And a million other small and large changes

I’m not saying having children is all doom and gloom and never having fun again. Of course not.

We love being parents and our lives with our D.C. are awesome. But it’s not the same life we had before they were born.

Being parents changes things radically. It’s disingenuous to suggest otherwise.

BenLui +1

I stopped cycling, but that was less about me falling off, and more about risk to the fetus if somebody hit me (quite likely, as I was cycling in rush hour in central London). I carried on with running, spin classes etc. Scooter should be ok as I assume you’re on the pavement.

Most cheese is completely fine. If you want goat’s cheese or blue cheese, just cook it! Baked camembert is no hardship. Stilton and soft goat’s cheese is ok to have.

There is a lot of really good alcohol-free beer around - I went to the Craft Beer Co a few times and they even had an alcohol-free wheat beer! Tasted just the same as a normal Leffe. I didn’t find any decent alcohol-free wine unfortunately, but I got quite into ginger beers, dandelion and burdock, various cordials (rose, elderflower, lemongrass), and cold-brew iced teas.

I really can’t see why you can’t do the escape room either. Have the organisers said you can’t, or is it your DP?