Oh shit I'm pregnant......please come answer my dumb questions!

[Northernbeachbum]

So two positive pregnancy tests today, not planned but it will be ok....not told dp yet as he's at work....please help with my dumb questions as I've never been pregnant before

• I drank this weekend.... too late now I know but chance of this causing issues?

• pregnancy tests said 3 weeks + which apparently means 5 weeks?????

• what do i need to do about going to a Dr?

• would a surfing trip in 3 weeks be a bad idea

• oh and how the hell do I tell do...im on the pill but had a dodgy tummy a few times

Eeeek I float between excitement and terror. It's not ideal timing to say the least but oooh I can't help but not care really

GP can arrange your dating scan and there's likely no need to even have an appointment with them directly.

No such thing as too early although you might not see anything if it's before 5 weeks. But that seems unlikely given your digital test.

@shankingpiglet That's good to know. I'll mention it to my doctor today. You may have just saved me £80. Thanks :)

Yes I did another test and still got a positive. Booked in with the midwife, apparently GPS around here don't see you just the midwife.

Hopefully they will book a dating scan

Have been a bit scared about it all as I feel like I'm supposed to know what's going on and I have no clue!!! Also the realisation that our amazing life is going to change in ways we can't imagine

It will still be amazing just really different sometimes. Plus you can rope them into your many hobbies once they are a toddler, I think my son would love surfing.

Honestly you will be fine and we are all blindly picking our way through it, I’d say even the trained experts when it comes child behaviour and the like crumble and feel a bit lost when they are having their own.

I’d recommend reading as much and as varied opinions as possible and being as fluid as you can be as often the decisions you make like parenting styles, sleeping arrangements, educations and everything in between differ dramatically once your bundle starts developing their own wee personality.

If you feel well enough you could join local birthing groups, pregnancy yoga groups or something similar that way you can meet women that are pregnant at the same time as you. It can such a relief to chat to others that get it.

This is such a lovely thread OP, I'm pleased your DP is excited you're going to have a great time

Thank you for the positive thoughts mustang it's been very odd as we are having to cancel some pretty amazing holidays that were booked which yes in the grand scheme is nothing and we are lucky but I just love our life now and we are incredibly happy. Also I've become all selfish and thought about sharing dps love

But Yes, sproglet will be roped in to our normal life and it will be great. I am happy it's just all a big shock. I'm also incredibly DR phobic so finding that aspect hard before anything has even happened

It will be amazing, just a little sooner than anticipated.

@shankingpiglet I just got back from my GP and they wouldn't arrange a dating scan for me. Guess it's one of the postcode-lottery deals.

Oh I've been offered one as I've been so useless knowing when it might have been

Crmble it was my midwife who did it, rather than the GP who only passed me onto the midwife. Maybe it depends just how long it is since you last remember a period? Or is based on what you tell them at your booking in appt? I had been having issues with the pill I'd been on so hadn't had a period for several months, plus we hadn't had recent-enough sex for it to be 4/5/6 wks pregnant either mostly because I was so tired and my boobs were so fucking painful I would have punched him if he'd tried to touch them. I can't think why that would be. Doh.

Can I just say you never feel like you are sharing your partner with your baby it is such a completely different love and to watch someone (partner,family,friends) love your child just gives you the warmest feeling. Also you may find you barely notice your dp for awhile and feel nada guilt lol.

Sorry about the holidays they are a bit of a bummer and they will look different whilst bubs is small. My suggestion if you have good family take them with you so you can still get some alone time whilst away. Remember you can still fly for a good while into pregnancy so there might be a chance to fit one last blow out holiday before baby. The cool kids call it a babymoon lol.

You normally get plenty of heads up with appointments so don’t feel embarrassed to take someone with you to help with the anxiety of being at the drs.

Definitely get dating scan ASAP it’s just nice to feel a wee bit more in the know. Obviously there is no such thing as a guarantee or a plan with birth and baby but due date is a good know.

crumple i would definitely push for a free one. I made sure I sounded completely ignorant and I've got one booked in for next week

mustang thank you for helping put my mind at rest. I think we might try to get away for a pre baby but bump friendly holiday. DP is being amazing, much more relaxed than me about it all.

Trying to catch up and find out things that I'm apparently supposed to know like where I want to give birth

Depends what type of trip you like to do but travel is definitely still possible while pregnant or with a baby. I've just dragged taken my 2yo to her fifth continent. She's transport mad so loved going to the airport.

Oh don't worry about that stuff yet! It's far too early.

Things to know/do for now:

What you're not allowed to do/eat/take
What eases the nausea
What vitamins to take
Where your closest services are - EPU (hospital with A&E usually), pharmacy, GP surgery
Get a book/pregnancy app if that's something which appeals to you (but anything with massive lists of what to do - take with a pinch of salt!)
Join MN antenatal thread once you've got a due date
Discuss with DP when and how you're going to tell family/friends

Things to start thinking about:

Finances - plan to get stuff in order, decide how to manage any current debts, upcoming large expenses, etc. Look up what you're entitled to legally.
Leave - which of you might take what leave. I think you can split some of it now. Whether you/DP might go part time or stay at home after parental leave ends.
Look into antenatal classes offered in your area and have a think if you want to do some. There are usually NHS and paid options. You can do both. IME NHS ones are useful for getting to know the hospital, private ones are useful for introducing you to a premade personal support group.
If you want to get married - look into requirements. But only if you really want to do it before baby comes!

Without wishing to be morbid, I would try and focus your efforts on pregnancy stuff right now, not childbirth/early childcare stuff because right now you only have a pregnancy, unfortunately at this stage it's not a guarantee that you'll have a baby at the end of it.

The reason to look into classes/leave/maternity pay is practical really because it's useful to know the lay of the land early. But again you could wait until after the scan to look at these things if you prefer.

Definitely not bump friendly travels unfortunately but we are not cancelling anything until after the scan. Due to family histories we are all too aware that a positive pregnancy test is only the beginning

Thank you for the list bertie. We've got a fair bit sorted already although yet to find what eases the nausea. Luckily it's pretty mild and I can ignore it at the moment I'm just insanely exhausted.

On the whole we are pretty organised with a midwife appointment Tuesday and a scan late next week. We've agreed we don't want it to be a reason to get married, we'd want to get married because we want to not because it's the right thing to do

Northernbeachbum just because family history is traumatic does not mean anything for your pregnancy. Hugs and try not to worry about any of that it’s so out of your control anyway.

Plus no need to rush getting hitched just imagine how cute a mini beachbum will be as a pageboy/flower girl lol.

Good luck this week with stuff I’m excited for you. Depending on how far along you are there might not be a lot to see on the scan but that’s nothing to worry about the sonographer will keep you right though.

I’m lucky I get hyperemisis throughout pregnancy lol iv yet to find anything that helps the nausea. Try travel bands and some aromatherapy maybe. If you start being sick come back and let us know , don’t suffer needlessly it’s not just pregnancy and you don’t need to just get on with it. You are probably at least 6/7 weeks if nausea has kicked in.

We're thinking 8 weeks probably given how long I've been complaining I've got sore boobs but who knows eh Family history doesn't mean we won't be lucky but we are trying not to get excited about it until there's been a scan (although I may have a rough names list already)

That was my thought, our little one will get to come to our wedding if we do decide to get married.

I just need a way to get over the tiredness, I'm not used to being so lethargic!

I found tiredness passed after the.first trimester so hopefully it won't last much longer.

Im definitely feeling more awake the last few days, sickness is still there as are the achey boobs but I've not napped since last week

Is it too soon to start looking at names

Hey @Northernbeachbum have you had your scan yet? How are you feeling?

Also I've become all selfish and thought about sharing dps love

Don't worry about this one - my Gran used to say that children bring their own love with them, and she was quite right... you don't have to share the love you have, there will just be more love to go around. Ahh, am getting all sentimental...

8 weeks along and a heartbeat to go with it mustang made it suddenly very real. Still sleeping an insane amount and feeling mildly sick but not too bad on the whole thanks

Aww that’s amazing so pleased. They look so odd before the 12 week scan like a kidney bean with arms and legs 😍.

Yeah just normal first trimester stuff just sleep if you need it. Glad the nausea is bearable.

Hi, your situation sounds a lot like mine. I only found out I was pregnant on Saturday and the week before I had been drinking wine and eating soft cheese in Paris!! These things can’t be undone but just start acting pregnant now. I have no idea about anything either. I went into my doctors first thing Monday to make an appointment and it’s not until December! It has to be around 8-10 weeks I think and my test said 3+ we had a holiday booked for August which we now have to cancel and I’m going to be 30 on April and my husband had booked flights to NYC something else to think about. I wouldn’t go surfing personally but it might be a good idea to check with a doctor or midwife. Good luck!!

@Northernbeachbum hey how are things going?