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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

To find out the sex of the baby or not?

68 replies

marieg76 · 10/04/2007 12:22

We have our 20 week scan on the 1st of June and are wondering whether to find out the sex of the baby or not. I can see advantages to both knowing and not knowing but would be really interested in hearing your thoughts and experiences in this regard. Thanks in advance - we really don't know what to do!

OP posts:

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Gingerbear · 10/04/2007 12:24

No, it is like peeking at all your presents under the Christmas tree.

MrsBadger · 10/04/2007 12:25

We chose not to - just couldn't bear the thought of people showering us with pink frilly dresses or 'little monster' dungarees so early.

Plenty of time for that when they've outgrown the nice gender-neutral babygrows .

LieselVentouse · 10/04/2007 12:25

I dont get a 20 week scan Id give my right arm to find out what this one is.

usandnosleep · 10/04/2007 12:26

We did and didn't regret it, we picked a name and had a lovely time shopping for him
If you find out don't tell your family

lazyemma · 10/04/2007 12:26

Entirely up to you, really. We kept it a surprise, and that seemed right for us, but equally a lot of people like to be prepared.

Uki · 10/04/2007 12:30

If it's first baby, I would opt for a suprise so much more exciting for everyone and yourselves, you'll get plenty of pressies of clothes and things when the baby is born, so most of your shopping will be done by others.

I have just found out with 2nd pg, as dh wanted too. I wish it was a suprise now, it has taken the excitement away.

So if I EVER HAVE A THIRD. I'm not finding out.

Nath · 10/04/2007 12:33

We found out we are having a girl and like you 'usandnosleep' we don't regret it one bit.

We have named her and told friends and family and I think its lovely being able to talk about her as a real person rather than "it" !!

That said, it is all down to personal opinion - whats right for some isn't right for others.......all my friends said we were mad!

amateurmum · 10/04/2007 12:33

I chose not to as secretly had a preference for a girl and was worried that I'd be disappointed if found out it was a boy at scan. Felt I would be much less likely to be disappointed at moment of birth thanks to all the hormone rush and delight at meeting baby.

Quootiepie · 10/04/2007 12:33

I was told I was having a girl, then by chance at an emergency growth scan a boy! It's not really worth it, because you can never feel you are able to buy anything, just in case, but also you have sort of spoilt the suprise aswell. I am definatly not finding out next time, much more exciting!

Quootiepie · 10/04/2007 12:35

Also, we had picked names and realy build the baby up in our minds, it is actually quite a blow to find out the baby you had in your mind just isn't there anymore... Sounds weird, but it was a big shock to find out it was a boy in the end. Even though Dh wanted a boy a little bit more!

ChelseaDagger · 10/04/2007 12:36

We found out and didn't regret it. I was still excited about the birth and finally seeing my baby's little face.

piglit · 10/04/2007 12:38

It's a totally personal decision. We found out both times and I loved knowing. I felt like I knew the dses before they were born.

charNbump · 10/04/2007 12:42

we tried to find out but baby was crossing legs so we are none the wiser! .....thankfully only 8 days til due date so not long now .....hopefully!

thehairybabysmum · 10/04/2007 12:44

We didnt find out and it was v. exciting on the day when told. Plus was lovely in the last few weeks to still have that to look forward to.

Agree that to me, it's like opening a present early....so i guess a good test for you is do you open presents early or not??

cazzybabs · 10/04/2007 12:47

No No No - so much more fun to wait! You keep trying to guess and coming up with 2 sets of names. I was so convinced dd2 was going to be a boy I had a scan at 34 weeks as "she" wasn't moving arounf much and they asked "do you know what it is" and like a idiot I said "oh its a boy" and I had loads of reasons whay I was convinced! They must have wet themselves. And when she was born I still was convinced it was a boy - I didn't even bother to look.

Anyway it is much better to wait I think. And as for fidning out and not telling people what is the point of that? I would let it slip for sure!

tokentotty · 10/04/2007 12:47

We found out last week and I'm glad we did as we (and everyone around us) was so sure it was a girl that we were completely speechless to discover it was a boy. We're glad we got that moment of complete shock out of the way then rather than when the baby arrived. We've decided to keep the news to ourselves though so no-one else knows and can wait for the surprise.

oxocube · 10/04/2007 12:50

I found out by accident - we moved countries/medical care etc and my gynae sent me a letter to give to my new doctor. The letter was addressed to me though, so I opened it and it quite clearly gave the sex of the baby (I'd had an amnio). I wish I hadn't found out. It spoiled the surprise.

LucyJu · 10/04/2007 13:00

Think it's much better not to find out. As someone else said... it's like peeking at your presents before Christmas day. There's something so nice and exciting about the wondering... I, personally, think you are losing something by taking that part of the pregnancy away. Still, lots of people think otherwise.
There is also a small question about accuracy. I used to work with someone who was told his wife was expecting a boy... he was very disappointed when a girl came along, having spent 4 months imagining a boy. Not sure how his wife felt, as I didn't really know her.

cupcakesgalore · 10/04/2007 13:00

We sort of found out with our 2nd - asked too late and they couldn't give a definite answer. I actually found i preferred not to know. gives you something to talk and think about in labour and makes the pregnancy extra exciting. i know some people prefer and also like to get organised - and partly now i'm on no. 4 it would be the practical thing to do because shopping with 3 under 6s and a newborn will be a disaster. Saying that I would still opt not to find out. And after you've given birth friend sand familiy are always really excited to know what you've had - suppose you could find out and not tell. Me - can't keep a secret v. well!

theprecious · 10/04/2007 13:09

We found out as I asked the sonographer "can you tell what it is?" and she said "Yes, it's a boy, look!".

I wasn't sure about knowing before hand but V pleased we did as it's given me some time to get used to the idea of having a boy. I had kind of imagined it was a girl before then.

And it helps with names, as boys names are v hard.

GillL · 10/04/2007 13:50

I found out with dd and this one that's due in August. I couldn't stand the suspense and I really don't think it would make the birth day any better by finding out then. It's also a financial decision because we will need to spread the cost of buying clothes etc.

MrsFish · 10/04/2007 15:45

I have my 20 wk scan on the 15th May - we will be finding out, I hate surprises, found out with the first one too

MrsMar · 10/04/2007 15:47

dh and I are really impatient and want to know, so if possible we'll find out in four weeks at my scan. A friend of mine said she really liked knowing the sex of hers, she had decided the name before she was born and chatted to her all the time. Sweet!

Ivor · 10/04/2007 15:48

We found out, the surspence would of killed DH.
I also peek at prezzies under the Christmas tree

TeeCee · 10/04/2007 15:48

It's like DP saying to you 5 months before Xmas - I'm getting you this ring for Xmas, here's a picture of it but ypou can't waer it till Xmas.

No no no, there are very few true surprises in life, don't spoli this one.

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