Birth Horror Stories

[louiserachael]

I have spoken to three girlfriends regarding the births of their children ... I am now severely worried about the delivery of my first child! Do any of you ladies have any advice for giving birth or nice stories to share particularly where you tell me it's not going to hurt that much !?

My births were all fine. DC1 got a bit stuck and did 3 hours pushing, but came out without intervention. DCs 2 and 3 were easier and 4 was a piece of piss.

No tearing, just gas and air.

No one wants to hear about an easy labour, it sounds smug and there's no drama.

It is going to hurt that much. But it's a useful sort of pain and in most labours it comes and goes so you have recovery time. I found it helpful to remember that a) every contraction was bringing me closer to meeting my baby and b) every contraction was one more down, never had to do that particular contraction again iyswim.

People always like to talk about their births and it isn't because the blood hit the ceiling, they weed on the midwife, the consultant came in the room, turned pale and said 'I've never seen one like that before'.
It's because it's an incredibly intense and personal experience which takes you from person with bump to parent. It's really cool

Take a change of clothes, energy sweets and a positive attitude. (Sounds like a marathon doesn't it?)

Similar to Foxy - 3 hours of pushing but delivered with no intervention (30 bloody stitches though). Tbh, it was terrifying at the time but looking back, I was an absolute wuss. Take the drugs if you want. You'll be fine!

Labour is far from the worst pain I've ever had. Toothache was much worse. Labour is a much more intense pain, broad rather than pointy IYSWIM. And it comes in waves, so even at its peak you know it will ease, and you'll take a sip of water, maybe talk, maybe remain silent, ready for the next wave. It may sound cheesy but the thought that every wave brings you closer to meeting your baby really helps. Also, remember that your head is not in charge during labour, your body is. Your body knows what to do. Trust her and let her get on with it. Your brain is only along for the ride - her job is to support your body.

I delivered both of mine with no interventions at all, and no pain relief. It hurts but it's an amazing feeling, in a funny sort of way.

I was in a very positive frame of mind both times. I just knew I could do it on my own - now, I might have been wrong about that, but I think it helped me to feel in control. If you're worried I'd try to find a hypno-birthing class. I have a friend who said it really helped her on her second birth after a traumatic first.

With my ds, Yes it hurt but I had no pain relief and I found the pain manageable in a birthing pool . Labour from start to finish was 4 hours, no tears, no stitches

With dd ( just 11 months after my ds) again I had no pain relief, labour was longer lasting 9 hours but again no tears, no stiches and pain was manageable in a birthing pool.

Imo people only want to talk about the labour if it was bad and I do think your friends are wrong to tell you there "horror" stories when you are expecting

Remember Pain relief is available to make you a little more comfortable if you want it.
You do just need to try and be as calm as you can and work with your body not against it, giving birth is natural and your body knows what it's doing

Oh, and if anyone wants to tell you their birth stories, stop them and tell them outright "I do not want to hear scare stories, or stories about agonising pain, or anything gruesome. I need positive stories right now."

(I didn't have people tell me their horror stories before my first labour, I had horror stories about GA and teeth extractions before I had my wisdom teeth out. Thanks, but no thanks.)

I've been feeling the same OP. There's a book called the positive birth book which is worth checking out.

I think the idea of 'if it was that bad there would be a lot more only children' applies here. Some women unfortunately have very hard labours but there are also lots that have smooth labours.

Labours are painful. There is no getting away from that. I do firmly believe that fear intensifies that pain.

I've had four labours. First one I was young and terrified. But although it was the hardest, all in all it was a good birth. Second I opted for an epidural and had a blissful painfree time. Third I had an epidural that went a bit wrong and left me with a window of pain on my side where I felt it all and a nice numb leg for 12 hours afterwards.

My fourth was my best and most amazing. Having had three births already, I guess I no longer felt much fear about it all. I went into labour near the hospital, decided to go home nearly an hours drive away. Put the three kids to bed and read them stories whilst riding out contractions. Went back to hospital and when I got there I was already fully dilated. I had barely felt any pain. Too late for any pain relief and half an hour later, out my boy came. In theory, it was the only labour id had no pain relief so you'd think it should have been the worst. But there was no fear.

I guess that makes it sound easy to not fear and I'd had experience to help. But I do think not fighting labour and your own body helps. Go with it rather than against it. And no matter what, when you are handed that baby, all pain will be forgotten.

I'm almost jealous, labour is a very empowering feeling and I don't think I've ever felt as much of a woman as I have each time I've had my babies. Best of luck to you when your time comes

I found labour a bit like the proverbial rollercoaster. One minute it was 'Woahh! This is bloody sore ....!', then a period of 'It's not so bad, this labour thing' followed by 'Woahh! .....'. You get the idea. Providing everything goes as it should, it is bearable. People really should keep their traps shut with their horrendous labour tales. Very insensitive.

I have one of the best birth horror stories with dc3

However my 2 other births were amazing, 25 hours and 7 hours but both wonderful
I love that urge to push
The feeling when you stretch and your baby is born is the best feeling in the world

I loved both my births and would do either of them again tomorrow!

DS1 was a 4hour hypnobirth from start to finish.
DS2 was an 8 hour epidural delivery from start to finish.

Both amazing because I felt listened to and everyone was waiting for instructions from me. I didn't have anyone else making decisions on pain relief, I made all the decisions and was in complete control 100% and that's what makes the difference I think.

Never a horror story here, I enjoyed both of mine!

Agree with PP who said toothache is worse than childbirth. Absolutely true. And I've had four, including one unattended (accidentally) and one where there was no gas and air available for transition.

Must warn you though, that the first shit after childbirth is worse than labour by miles.

Personally, I wish more people spoke candidly about their birth experiences.

All birth experiences are different. I had 3 babies. I had one gruesome keilands rotation forceps delivery, 1 easy quick, practically pain free - Tesco for nappies on the way home 4 hours later and back to work within 3 weeks type experience and final one was long, painful but natural and back home next day. All very different but same lovely result. Please don't over think it and dont plan too much because you can't possibly know/plan how it will be. Congratulations!

Some peoples labours are horrific. Mine wasn't. Waters broke at home 4 days before due date, 2 hours at home with bad period pains, arrived at hospital 8cm dilated. 2 hours pushing, no intervention and he was here.

I'm pregnant again and fully accept that next time I may not be so bloody lucky (or be dealing with the trauma of a ridiculously fast labour).

My ONE recommendation is hypnobirthing. Equips you to deal with whatever labour you have and helped me go from petrified to completely relaxed and accepting of whatever was going to happen. Good luck

Hello OP

I had two DCs born by SVD and all was OK. No horror stories here :) Congratulations and switch off to all the horror stories people tell you

Hello! My baby's birth was only 3 days ago! She feeding madly now! I was in the pool in my birthday centre from 7am till she was born at noon. Just used gas and air. Had an amazing midwife. The contractions hurt but I found it really helpful to remember you get a break between each one and that helps you deal with the overall labour. My midwife was great. The head bit stung but by then I was at the real pushing stage and that meant I knew it was close to being over. I can't recommend water enough. So easy to change positions.

My birth was amazing!
Started having contractions at 1am watched TV (not going to lie was abit painful) still at 6-7 mins at 6 am so thought I would have a bath. Then ramped up to 3 mins apart, got to the hospital at 8 and gave birth at 10.
I had gas and air for the contractions but not to push (made me feel odd).
Amazing, i would be in labour any day rather than be pregnant (o hated being pregnant).

Every labour is different, you'll get so many horror stories about labour. Then about infant feeding , then about sleep then about potty training ,.. just smile and nod , smile and nod. Every baby is different and you will know best! X

Oh and I think it helped that I kept thinking this is one closer contraction/push towards meeting baby.
Your not going backwards always forwards, and at the end you will meet your baby. It's the most intense and best day of your life ...

Ps my labour was back to back so I felt like i needed the biggest poo of my life all the way through 😂

My labour was an hour and a half. Had to convince the midwives I was having 3 contractions every 10 minutes and to keep me in as it was just like period pains, nothing unmanageable. They checked and I was 4cm. I'm not going to lie the pain got a whole lot worse but by the time I asked for pain relief I was 9cm so couldn't have anything and he came out very soon after that!

I'm expecting number 2 now though so it can't have been that bad can it?!

I had a really easy labour with my first! It wasn't too long. I tried to stay as calm as humanly possible tbh, and I always tell others to try not to panic when the labour starts.

My contractions started at 5 mins apart, each lasting 30 seconds or more. By the time we had reached the hospital I was 6cm dilated. I had gas & air through it all, and that's more of a distraction than pain relief as I felt everything. I didn't tear or anything. The hardest thing was not pushing when my body wanted to so bad (Midwives told me no, as cervix still covered part of babies head).

As others have said, every labour is different, just as every pregnancy is different. I had a really easy pregnancy too. I'm pregnant with #2 now. There will be horror stories about every bit of pregnancy/labour/baby life. Just try not to read them all!

Hi OP, I left work a bit before 5pm and delivered DD at 6.17pm (overseas so you always leave work on the same day). No worse than a bad period pain, but of gas and air. It was very quick so I did tear, which was uncomfortable afterwards and that was by far the worst bit.

Ex H had left and I didn't have any family over there so I like to believe that the universe was kind in other ways!

labour is bananas. nothing anyone can tell you will prepare you. it is a unique experience. mine was scary and agonising. like a horror rollercoaster. but i survived and baby is thriving.. i've forgotten all the bad bits and will certainly do it again!