Worst comment you've ever received

[Hazandduck]

OK, so I have always been pretty sensitive about my weight. I just hate people commenting on it, because it really is none of their business, and I will torture myself for absolutely ages afterwards and feel hideous and self-conscious if someone says something negative about my size (even in jest.) So now I am pregnant, and so unbelievably happy to be so, and feel all glowy and loving the bump, but some people are just making horrible comments!

There is one woman in particular at work; I was sat at my desk this morning, and for the second time she loudly shouted "Oh wow, hi Fatty!" so all the office heard and I just went bright red and stupidly wanted to cry! I'm not fat, I'm bloody 27 weeks pregnant, and even if I was fat, why is it ok to declare it to all my colleagues? I just don't get why she keeps saying stuff. Of course I've gained weight, but why do people have to point it out.

She actually said to me the other day "Every time I see you you're bigger!" Duh. That's how pregnancy tends to work! And then she kept staring at my face with her eyes narrowed and said "I don't know what it is...your face has changed..." I tried to be blasé and said "Oh yes people have said I'm glowing," to which she shook her said and said "No it's definitely not that, your face has changed shape." It feels like she is deliberately trying to get some sort of negative reaction the way she keeps going on.

So what's your worst comment? And how did you handle it? I really can't see how I'll keep my cool for another 12 and a half weeks with comments like this...

With me, it wasnt a comment as such. We were coming home on the bus, about a week before Christmas, I was 8 months pregnant. Because it was cold I had my winters coat on, so not overly obvious I was pregnant. As the bus was packed, me & my ex were standing, right at the front of the bus, so everyone getting off had to squeeze by me. Wed been on the bus about 20/25 minutes so a lot of passengers squeezing by!!
One man had obviously been getting wound up by seeing all the people having to squeeze past a fat person-me!-that when he got off he gave me the biggest, hardest push he could as he was squeezing by me, that my bump really slammed into the pole I was holding onto, causing me to really gasp in pain.
My ex did no more than shout after the chap "Dont mind her, mate, shes only 8 months pregnant!"
The look of shock & horror on his face was priceless!!
Immediately I had people offering me a seat, even though I`d already been standing for the last 20/25 minutes & only had 3 more stops to go!!

Sounds like she forgot to put her muzzle on...

Gosh she sounds like a right witch!

I've had the following:

"Omg you're SO BIG!"
"Is it twins? Are you sure?" (We had 4 anomaly scans due to suspected heart defect, there is definitely only one - that normally shuts them right up!)
"Oh my god you're so tiny and neat!"

"Aren't you worried about being pushed out of your job?"
"How are you going to cope with your job when you return to work?" (I'm a trainer, so travel for work and often stay away. This upsets me the most, as I can't even be scathing back - how I can make my job work around a little one constantly worries me)

The one that gets right on my tits though, is probably the least offensive! My colleague keeps calling me her "little infant carrier" (we work for a car seat company). It drives me crackers! I know she hasn't a nasty bone in her body and means it lovingly, but I wish she'd stop.

1. it ain't your infant, I am not your infant carrier. Fuck off
2. I AM STILL A HUMAN IN MY OWN RIGHT

Argh. I don't feel I can say anything though, as I know she'd be heartbroken to know she was annoying me!

"You should get the receptionist to change your title from Ms to Mrs, otherwise at the hospital they might think you're a single mother. They don't always treat them so well."

My GP. I had a home birth instead. And I did change my title. To my academic one of Dr.

My own mother 2 days ago (13 weeks pregnant) whilst trying on dresses to wear to a wedding
"You don't look pregnant, just like you've put on a bit of weight"
Not sure if that was meant to be reassuring??

In the most part people are nice and when someone says to a pregnant person they've got 'bigger' they do mean the bump is bigger.

I've found post baby pretty bad with people saying 'you've lost weight' when in fact I haven't lost any so heck knows how big they thought I was the last time they saw me 🙈

Oh, tell her to f**k off with her jealous, resentful, covetous and down righ mean attitude! You're the one growing a human being, and, well........she's not!

I've just caught up on the thread and am astonished at some of these comments!! Totally agree that a lot of this stems from our bodies being seen as public property. I hate how you are constantly sized up like a prize cow!

The lady in question at my work has recently lost about 6 stone doing Slimming World so I guess she is just obsessed with people's weights at the moment because she is conscious of her own efforts?
X

I think this is wholly inappropriate in the workplace and constitutes bullying (particularly as it's continuing). I suggest you contact your HR department immediately.

I didn't have any unpleasant comments whilst carrying my twins, but the most stunning thing was when I held the door open for a woman coming into the building society I was exiting, who patted my tummy, 'for luck'. I was so astounded I didn't slap her face, something which I have regretted ever since.

Birthday cake lady: "congratulations!! What are you having, a baby elephant?"

Also went to a meeting at old workplace and the cow secretary asked me when I was due, immediately followed by "yesterday?"

I had severe polyhydramnios so was huge and having to have lots of tests to see if there was anything going on because the levels were so high...which after a previous miscarriage was terrifying for me. I am a naturally slim build, tall size 8/10 and all the huge comments really affected me.
One guy at work told me every fucking day that I should really get it checked that it's not twins and that ultrasounds can miss twins and it's safer if the doctors know etc etc and that his cousin was as far along as me and she was tiny. It took a bad day and dropping my lunch whilst I was receiving another lecture for me to scream OH PISS OFFFFFFF (Will from the inbetweeners style). Luckily my manager found it hilarious and said he had it coming.

The one that got to me was 'Oh, you're pregnant??!' ...with a very confused look! This was after having chatted about being pregnant at some length in a group situation, which I think they clearly would have overheard. They must have just assumed I had a very round belly that was all fat and not baby. Don't know why it bothered me so much, but I then started questioning myself, wondering if I looked pregnant or just fat/bloated.

When I told my husband I was first pregnant he said - I'll get the camera to take a pic of you now do I can remember you like this and not how fat you're going to get.

So!

These comments are shocking! There are some rude bastards in this world!
@beetlejuice, I hope you lumped him?! My OH has taken to calling me "Mother of Dragons," since my bump has become massive, not because of my blonde hair...But because I look and act like a dragon when I wake up apparently 😂 Charming!

When I announced my much longed for pregnancy (trying over 2 years which they both knew about) to BiL and SiL, my SiL said 'oh my god, that's awful news. I'd rather kill myself than grow a fucking parasite in my body'.

Nail on the head with your previous post, OP. Her insensitive comments are definitely about wanting to point out she's slimmer.

My charmless mother has weight issues herself and told everyone with undisguised glee to 'look at your big fat belly'. I was 8.5 months pregnant (and annoyingly for her, actually only had a neat bump).

Because any direct attempt to stand up for myself is met with accusations of being overly sensitive, I ignored her, and explained to everyone else that I was doing well thanks and explained that my bump was growing exactly as it was meant to and everything was looking healthy. Made her comment irrelevant.

I was overweight to start with - no one ever used to comment on it particularly. Now I'm pregnant there appears to be free reign with 'look how big you're getting', 'we'll have to cut a hole in the desk for your bump', 'you're going to be huge by the time you're finished' etc etc.

I thought being fat already I'd be ok with getting bigger but since people have started tactlessly mentioning it all the FUCKING time, I'm not.

Hazandduck what you are describing is bullying in the workplace. Tell your manager and use the word 'bullying' (some managers won't act unless you do...!). She needs to have a disciplinary meeting with her superiors. If she doesn't stop, she may eventually be dismissed. Don't let this go.

Some of these comments are horrendous!
To my chagrin, I've been on the other side of this. Aged about 21 (yes, old enough to know better) I asked a visibly pregnant woman how long she had left, expecting her to say "2 weeks" or similar, and when she said "2 months" I made a face and went "oh god thats ages!" She replied sarcastically, "thanks, that makes me feel really great" and I was mortified at having been so rude. About 15 years later I still cringe at the memory.
Definitely say something to her, OP, even if it's just something like what that woman said to me. She probably thinks she's being funny rather than a prize twat, and needs to be made aware that that sort of comment is unacceptable. I've never commented on the size or shape of a bump (positively or negatively) since that experience.

Bluntness100 you can report gp for making inappropriate comments. Gp surgeries have to keep a record of complaints and it goes against them when they're inspected. The surgery manager will ensure that gp makes no more inappropriate comments.

coastalchick

not in a pregnancy context but an ex boyfriend's mother once said "are you even good at anything? I mean, are you even any good at your job".

Thank god she didn't become your MIL! x

I was very nauseous months 1-4 of pregnancy and didn't put on much weight. My bump was petite. DD was 7lbs 8oz and 'long' when she was born. Midwives asked me where I'd been hiding her! People are extremely ignorant about pregnancy and make a lot of stupid assumptions.

Worst comment I've had: "you look better with glasses" err, that's my face you're insulting...!

Oh, I had lots of comments about my size. I didn't start off very skinny and actually put only a few pounds on over the course of the pregnancy. If someone said 'Oh, your bump looks bigger every time I see you!' I used to say 'Thanks, that's what it's meant to do!'

Worst one though... Walked back to the office from my lunch break, colleague just leaves the office, gasps audibly, and said: 'No wonder it's cloudy today, your bump has caused an eclipse'.
Me:
Her: 'You know, your bump is soooo big, you're blocking out the sun!'
Me: 'I heard you the first time, now piss off you cheeky cow!'

I don't bother with her at all now.

DandySeaLioness that doesn't sound like something a friend would say... Maybe reevaluate that friendship