What are the best bits about having a baby?

[Lemondrop99]

Ok so the "what's so hard about having a newborn" thread has scared/depressed me. I know it'll be hard but there must be reasons why people do it all over again with second, third children etc.

So I thought we should have a thread to balance it. Those of you who have already had a baby, what were the best bits of that first year? Anything you found surprisingly easy when you thought it would be hard? Perhaps solutions you found to turn a tough phase into something enjoyable?

What was easier than expected?

Humans (read: women's) ability to cope with all of the hard bits - the sleepless nights, which are tempered by the fact that you get to see your lovely baby when you're up with him/her! And the breastfeeding - once you persevere it makes sense.

Seeing these little babies develop their little features, the features that you might recognise from aunt's / grandparents. Seeing wider family taking such a joy in your baby, which brings the whole family closer is a nice aspect I hadnt even considered.

The pride you have in dressing up your baby (I have a girl) and having people say they look beautiful. And seeing them learn new skills each day - around the year mark when they can speak coherent words, that bit is just magic. Enjoy it all and dont listen to the naysayers. It's blissful having a baby.

It's wonderful. The best bit for me at the beginning is cuddles and then a bit more cuddling.

4 babies and recovery from labour has been incredibly easy each time.sleepless nights aren't all that bad, I try to see it as a chance for me to spend time alone with my baby girl, we don't often get that quiet time during the day.
Every tiny new little thing your baby does is amazing and just melts you! And I mean everything, right down to the funny face they make when they are doing a poo!

My first mat leave year genuinely felt like a holiday - the most contented year I've ever had.
The first 6 weeks were hard est feeding but went by in a whirlwind, and i was lucky to have a very easy baby.
Breastfeeding didnt really hurt and my boobs looked the best theyve ever looked
It gets relentless at times if you have no support from extended family, but babies and toddlers really are great (oldest only 3 so maybe it goes downhill after this!)

CERVICAL STITCH NO 3
has anyone had a third clerical stitch?
my first was an emergency at 22 weeks resulting in a 32 week delivery, tore through stitch.
Second was planned at 12 weeks delivered due date no complications.

Has anyone had a third stitch and what was the outcome? scared of conceiving again at 34

That's nice you felt your words of wisdom were so important they needed posting twice.

I'll stick with what I posted namechange though. Parenting is hard but the baby bit is easy if you know what you're doing.

The first 6 weeks are probably the hardest but my God I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Your tiny newborn snuffling on your chest- there is nothing more perfect and amazing. You will sleep, your sleep will be broken but there will be times you'll stay awake just to stare at baby!

I had an emergency section and recovery was ok. Nothing about the aftermath of childbirth is unbearable and tbh the whole thing is barely a patch on being pregnant which towards the end is very very hard.

Breastfeeding was tough for me so I ended up formula feeding which has been fine for us and we are much more relaxed now we aren't battling to get breastmilk extracted from my unwilling breasts! Get your head around the fact that formula is fine, it doesn't harm babies, babies like and thrive on it now. Also don't get sucked into the breastmilk rhetoric - the 'liquid gold' shite and all that about bonding. You can bond just as well over a bottle. That way if you can't breastfeed you're realistic about it and don't end up with PND.
Breastfeeding is great if it works for you but it isn't the be all and end all.

My baby is 12 weeks now so coming up on the end of the fourth trimester. He is not acting like a newborn any more. He smiles and laughs and tells me things. He reaches out to touch my face. He smiles at family members and they too fall in love with him when he does. Every time your baby interacts with you that rush of love is so so strong it's like the moment you got engaged over and over again especially when they do something new and it takes your breath away.

I had stitches and was in a lot of pain post birth for quite a while. My baby has always been a bad sleeper and only now (15 months) sleeping through the night (with a 5am wake up). However I found breastfeeding very easy despite ds having a tongue the. It's exhausting as newborns feed A LOT but never had to use nipple cream, etc and happily continued for over a year until he self weaned.

I think the doubting yourself is hard. Everyone has an opinion on sleep, feeding, developmental issues etc. I found just trusting your instincts worked for me. If you don't feel comfortable leaving your baby to cry or whatever it is, don't do it, whatever anyone tells you.

The huge amount of love I have for my ds is so overwhelming as is the joy he has brought to our whole family. And it's lovely seeing your partner as a parent as well.

Good luck. x

The first smile in the morning, the gripping of your finger, dribbling kisses. TBH the first 4-6 weeks you don't get a lot back which is why babies are so cute. After that every minute is awesome - even when they are awake at 2am! 😝

"Parenting is hard but the baby bit is easy if you know what you're doing."

Well I think it can be hard even if you do know what you're doing. It's pretty mean to imply someone is only finding it hard because they don't know what they're doing.

Why do people feel the need to make sweeping generalisations on these threads? Why can't you just share your own experiences? Why do you have to declare that your own experience makes you the expert on everyone else's?

Best bit? Not being pregnant any more!

I found breastfeeding surprisingly easy and new born snuggles are lovely.

It's all life-changing though and rather relentless. I struggled not to be overwhelmed by the responsibility at times.

OP,
I didn't want a baby and was, quite frankly, initially horrified when I discovered I was pregnant. I spent most of my pregnancy worried that I 'wouldn't be able to do it' and that I'd 'be a terrible mum'.
Don't get me wrong, I have nieces, nephews and godchildren who I all adore, I just didn't see myself with kids.
Anyway, DD is here now, almost 4 months old and the light of my life. I spend an inordinate amount of time staring at her and can't believe that I made her.
Yeah, it's tiring sometimes but I'm definitely in the camp of 'sleep when baby sleeps'. An untidy house is fine compared to sleep deprived mania.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself and try to enjoy the early weeks as it goes v fast as your lo will change daily.
My highlight is breastfeeding. Her little hands reaching out grasp onto my finger or boob whilst she suckles away. She's so content at those moments. Surprised myself and everyone around me.
Yes, there's hard moments but the highs outweigh the low, because as you say, folk wouldn't go on to have 2, 3, 4 more etc
Best wishes

*LemonDrop99
*

1. To tear, have stitches and be in a load of pain post recovery
2. For breastfeeding to be hard and hurt
3. To never sleep again

1 - I tore. DH bought me a 20cm diameter swim ring. Saved my life. I was still out shopping when DD was 4 days old though.
2- BF for first three 3 weeks was a bit sore but I religiously applied nipple cream and ice packs plus regularly sought advice from other BF mums to check my latch, if there were better/ other positions to hold etc. My biggest challenge with BF is that I was constantly wondering if I was producing sufficient milk. I was!
3- As I said in my previous post, sleep when baby sleeps or if Mum/ good friend etc come to see baby and you're shattered then hand them over for cuddles and take an hour! I also used to feed knowing that gave me a 3 hour window and hand over to DH. We tag teamed!

OP I had an EMCS with a rocky recovery. But I loved having a newborn. I found breastfeeding easy from the start. My DD slept well at night from day one and would happily doze off in pram/sling during the day. It was summer and I would pop her in the sling and head off to London museums or parks for the day from a few weeks old.

Some babies are easier than others!

Why do people feel the need to make sweeping generalisations on these threads? Why can't you just share your own experiences? Why do you have to declare that your own experience makes you the expert on everyone else's?

Why do people feel the need to lose their shit over another person's opinion on the internet? Why don't those people get the fuck over themselves?

We may never know.

OP I was terrified and being bombarded with everyone's horror stories. Noone seemed to have anything good to say about babies when I was pregnant (made me want to ask them all if they were having some serious regret about having their own kids since their lives were so miserable! ). After preparing ourselves for the worst of everything this was my experience:
I had a planned csec and it was a dream. Seriously. So easy, peaceful and recovery was surprisingly easy. I had none of the bad stories you hear people with bad csec stories share.
My baby latched on straight away and I never had any pain breastfeeding ahem until teething started and I have been chomped a couple of times so far.... My milk came in on day 5 and I made sure I had lots of support from a lactation consultant to help me out. The most painful thing I experienced, including the birth, was actually the day my milk came in. My poor once-a-cups were so engorged and sore. But it passed as soon as baby was feeding. My csec scar has faded incredibly (Vitamin E oil, almond oil and rosehip oil). My pelvic floor hasn't missed a beat and my weightloss since birth has been slow and steady and satisfying without being stressful.
For the first 8ish weeks my baby slept for 3 hours, fed/nappy change, slept for 3 hours and so on around the clock. Everytime baby slept, I slept. MNers hate that. But I did it and it worked for me.
Best parts - skin to skin after birth, breastfeeding, giggles and smiles, carrying baby in a sling against my chest.
Maybe if you prepare yourself for the worst like I did then you'll just be pleasantly surprised when it doesn't all happen?

I think it depends to a large degree on what type of baby you have. Our son touch wood, so far, has been relatively easy. Yes we're had broken nights sleep and we've had to give up our social life, but on the whole he is calm, easy to read and easy to settle so we've found it great fun so far. But I know that is not the same for all babies and I am sure he won't stay this way (although son if you are listening to this, please stay this way!)

Babies are miracles. So many people can't have them or struggle to have them (as we did) and so I thank my lucky stars every day that he is here, whether he is grizzly, happy or throwing up on my shoulder.

I find watching my partner bond with our son the best thing in the world. I love bathing him and watching him conquer new skills like swimming.

I love the fact that his little face represents the future. There is so much innocence, hope and opportunity resting in their little features.

Not to be too soppy, but babies make you feel young again and make you take care of yourself more, because you have someone else to look after and grow very old for. That's a good feeling.

GOOD LUCK!

xx

Surprisingly how quickly I got he hang of being responsible for another person. The faces he pulls when he stretches.

Easy, how quickly I recovered from my Csection. It was an emergency so didn't expect it/prepared myself for it, but after the first week to ten days I found myself getting back to normal.

So during the first few weeks (DD is now 4 months old) I said to my husband these two things during severe sleep deprivation.....

"They say it's worth it but I don't think it is"
"Today I hate being a mum"

It IS worth it and I love my little ickle princess so bloody much....one question I don't like is 'do you like/love being a mum?'. I find it hard to answer as I've found the adjustment hard, really hard, despite ALWAYS wanting to be a mum.

Someone told me and my husband that it gets easier and it does. However much I was sleep deprived and however much I felt it hard work, I found showering everyday easy enough, even putting on make up too! I also go out everyday, I'm lucky as I did NCT class and have sisters/sister in laws who are mums and a retired mum to spend time with. Even though I'm on crappy statutory maternity pay (but my choice to have a baby so I don't complain & we saved up extra for my time off work) we also budgeted to keep our cleaner, if you cut down anywhere keep or get a cleaner!

I also find it easy and enjoyable cleaning/sterilising bottles and prepping formula...why? Because I do a combi feed and BF was excruciating for me ONLY because DD had a severe tongue tie and introducing a bottle was a sanity saver for me. The tongue tie is fixed now but i still do both as combi feeding gives me the break of being the sole feeder (I can go out baby free!) and she also gets the goodness of breast milk (plus it's free and no prep required).

Cuddles are amazing, the noises they make are even more amazing, right now DD is 'talking' and it's heavenly (not quite so much at 3am but it does make me giggle!).

Every morning we stay in bed together before I shower and have a lovely time, while I'm actually ok about going back to work next year I will miss our mornings in bed.

As the mum (this is the science bit I think!) soothing your own baby is magical, especially in the very early days, only mummy would do and that is a very special connection for you both (see even though I hated the early days I did love them too!)

Pregnancy was a long hard slog for me so not being pregnant is fabulous!

Some advice I wish I'd been given (which is pretty simple really and I'm sure a baby book would have covered it if I'd read any)....there are 6 main things (aside from illness or things like reflux) that means your baby is crying....

-hungry
-needs burping (watch out for the dreaded 'delayed burps', my DD can have them an hour after feeding and being burped, from either formula or breastfeeding!)
-nappy
-tired
-bored
-teething

The boredom one is the hardest when you are trying to cook dinner and husband/partner isn't there to help. But I still do cook dinner, I was worried I hadn't prepared all these 'freezer meals' you read about it, I'm so glad I didn't bother, I can still cook!

This thread is making me seriously broody.

Gina
What a nasty post. Completely uncalled for and not at all in the spirit of the thread.