What are the best bits about having a baby?

[Lemondrop99]

Ok so the "what's so hard about having a newborn" thread has scared/depressed me. I know it'll be hard but there must be reasons why people do it all over again with second, third children etc.

So I thought we should have a thread to balance it. Those of you who have already had a baby, what were the best bits of that first year? Anything you found surprisingly easy when you thought it would be hard? Perhaps solutions you found to turn a tough phase into something enjoyable?

Newborn cuddles are pretty good. Other than that I'm not a huge fan! But once they start to learn new things they become fascinating. Seeing their development from being completely helpless to going through crawling, communication, recognising faces, smiling, getting to grips with solid food etc....

Life with kids gets better and better as they get older except for the fairly large blip around and beyond 2 years old where they turn into little demons

I'm going to have a different view here.

The point is that we are all different. Not everyone falls in love the moment they are passed their newborn. Not everyone lies in bed, willing their baby to wake up so they can lift him/her up and give her a cuddle. Not everyone thinks that being a mother has made them complete. Not everyone will share their less experiences.

I went into motherhood only knowing all all these fantastic life changing events that everyone writes about. And when I didn't have all of these wonderful experiences I assumed I was at fault.

I love my kids. More than anything. But did I enjoy the new born stage? Well.... No. I didn't. I don't feel cheated. I just had a different experience.

So OP I don't mean to put a dampener on things. And I really do hope you have all of the wonderful experiences PP have written about. But if you don't, well that's ok too so don't set yourself impossibly high expectations.

I'm not a baby person. But I love the crazy logic of toddlers, the pride of preschoolers learning to ride their bikes, the angst of the pre-teenager starting to see what the outside has to offer. And I have absolutely no regrets !

I'm only 6 months in and already pregnant with #2 so it can't be that bad!
There are of course challenges, my dad isn't a good sleeper, I can count on one hand the amount of times she has slept through the night and have a few fingers spare!
Having said that, the thing I found easier than I expected was just adjusting to my new life. I thought it would hit me like a train how much my life hand changed, but it didn't, I just love my new life with DD despite the tough days.

Don't listen to all of the scare mongering about newborns and your life being over, it's simply not true. It's as incredible and amazing as it is hard, and that's why people go on to have more.

You'll be fine!

Oh and also labour really wasn't that bad for me. Only gas and air and no stitches. If you are worried I would recommend hypnobirthing :)

You have a new found respect for your own parents
first smiles , first everythings really
Being in a little bubble and putting everything else into perspective
Every day feels like a challenge in the new born phase and you can feel pretty chuffed with reaching the end of it

Hypnobirthing is great but it's no guarantee of anything. The best thing is that it helps you feel relaxed and positive, but it would be counter productive to have high expectations and then feel cheated if you don't have the birth you're hoping for.

Some top picks

You are their absolute favourite person in the world.
Seeing your partner cradle a (not so) tiny baby.
Seeing parents and siblings welcome a new family member
Cuddles
Watching them work out something, or process something new
The giggles - a baby giggling is just a sound of pure joy

On the practical side of things:
Just fantastic not being pregnant any more.
Emcs recovery was pretty good, with the added bonus of loads of "you've had surgery" sympathy. Everyone wanted to look after me.
Had no issues with breastfeeding. No pain, nothing, so it was a joy. (rare, but just to give you hope it can happen!) Especially sitting on my arse watching netflix
Didn't feel nearly as vulnerable as I was expecting.
Post birth bleeding was no where near as bad as I was led to expect

I actually really loved (love) the baby days, when I really wasn't expecting to. It has all been better than I expected!

Namechange30 - the essence of hypnobirthing is that whatever your birth, it will be the right one for you on that day. I found it actually removed any pressure which is why it was so effective.

Oh, everything! The cuddyness, the smell of their heads, their little starfish hands, their ridiculously tiny toes, the way they make everyone happy, the way they kick their legs when they're pleased to see you.......

What namechange said. You ultimately can't fully prepare for childbirth as, unless you're having an ELCS, it's really not under your control. If things don't go the way you'd wished, it's not a failing or something you did wrong. I would've liked a waterbirth. Turns out ds didn't want to wait long enough for the midwife to fill the pool up. 🙄.

Also if you're lucky you will build up a network of new, lovely friends through having a baby- doesn't always happen straight away but by my third there was about six of us who were all friends from our second babies and were all on maternity leave and it felt a bit like uni- we were in and out of each other's houses all the time just chatting away with hours ahead of us while feeding babies and the toddlers played and we would tell each other everything . We all have school aged kids now and are all back at work and grown apart bit and I really miss how close we all were and we were really quite reliant on each other

The calm after baby is born and all medical professionals leave you alone for the first time. I luckily always had a private room but dozing with your new baby and waking up to find them there and the hours alone before you go home are lovely.

Hey Lemon I'm with Pippa, sure having a newborn can be overwhelming, lots to learn etc but I can definitely say that it is still miles easier than an hg pregnancy! For one, you will feel well, yes sometimes tired but in a healthy normal way. I was able to reconnect with friends and family I hadn't seen for months when pregnant! And I did not have an easy baby (gonna leave out details!)- but I would take that time over managing hg any day. And the love I feel for my dd still blindsides me a bit, if you'll excuse me being a bit gushy

The first night was heaven. Ds slept from about 8pm until 5 the next morning. I didn't. I just sat on my bed mooning over him. Total elation. Indescribable.

user
I don't want to derail the thread but just wanted to explain my comment. I understand what hypnobirthing is (I did a course!) but felt the need to challenge your initial comment, as it could be interpreted as implying that hypnobirthing = uncomplicated vaginal birth with nothing but gas and air and no birth injuries. Obviously you were just sharing your experience, but i wanted to make it clear that hypnobirthing does not guarantee any outcomes (although still worth it IMO, although i didn't get the birth I'd hoped for).

Agreed namechange30...I also wasn't implying that it equalled and easy birth, just a tip if she was nervous that's all as it's a brilliant technique to have under your belt :) but I can see how it came across that way after rereading.

It is hard but there are beautiful moments: when they sleep on your chest and you marvel at their tiny perfection; when they smile at you - not just for the first time, but every time (even now, I love when my 15 y/o smiles at me); when they curl their tiny hand around your finger, and you feel you could burst. It's moments, but those moments are immense.

Just to add re Hypnobirthing. I did a wonderful course when I was pregnant but ended up having an emcs. I still managed to use the Hypnobirthing and it helped me massively!

The over-whelming obsessive love you feel for them
How amazing everything they do is, sleeping, waking up, baby sleepy smiles etc
When they do something new like smile, giggle
That they immediately know who Mummy & Daddy is
The cuteness of tiny baby clothes
The softness of baby blankets & toys
They way they smell
Baby cuddles are just amazing
How much love you feel for your partner that you created a little human together
How much love you feel watching your partner and baby together

Sniffing their head 😂

This is silly but sometimes I love DS so much I think I must the only person to have ever felt this way .. because if not how does anyone ever get anything done!! it's so so lovely to read others stories of love. I've kept this thread to read again

You know, even the hard bits aren't as hard as they sound. DS didn't sleep well at first. Didn't sleep at all for 2 nights in a row. You know what, it was fine. And I bloody love sleep. Your ability to survive is amazing.

What's surprisingly easy is how natural it all is. I knew nothing about babies and couldn't even comfortably hold others babies. Mine was just a natural fit from day one. I just Know him.

Here's some advice I found invaluable in the first weeks though. It's really normal to think "holy fuck, we have destroyed our lives!!l - that feeling will pass really soon and you will laugh about it.

Being a mum is wonderful OP, it's wonderful. All the love songs ever written suddenly make sense (DH and I used to take the piss out of that Bruno mars song - grenade. If came on the radio today and we turned to each other and said "oh my god, it makes sense now. Yes I would actually catch a grenade for this kid, without question")

Congrats on your pregnancy