What are the best bits about having a baby?

[Lemondrop99]

Ok so the "what's so hard about having a newborn" thread has scared/depressed me. I know it'll be hard but there must be reasons why people do it all over again with second, third children etc.

So I thought we should have a thread to balance it. Those of you who have already had a baby, what were the best bits of that first year? Anything you found surprisingly easy when you thought it would be hard? Perhaps solutions you found to turn a tough phase into something enjoyable?

That's so true blue. My DS is 3 now, but sometimes I watch him play with other kids and my heart is just bursting with love for him. I also think he is the cutest, most beautiful one and then I wonder if all the other mothers think that about their own. I'm sure they do!
I was utterly exhausted and completely shocked for about 2 weeks after his birth. I wouldn't particularly say I enjoyed those weeks. They're a blur now, but I know I was consumed with worry - was he gaining weight etc.

This -

I also love love love looking at DD when she is asleep in her carseat (when we are stationary of course). She looks so squishy and adorable I actually worry my heart might burst. You just can't describe the love.

Oh also my kid thinks I'm really really funny - I never used to be so creating a human has also made me a comedy genius

By surprisingly easy I just mean like, I'm basically expecting

*1. To tear, have stitches and be in a load of pain post recovery

1. For breastfeeding to be hard and hurt
2. To never sleep again*

1. I tore (but not badly) and had stitches (but not many). Made an excellent recovery, everything has gone back to how it was before, and no incontinence (which I'd been really worried about).

1. I found breastfeeding very hard for the first couple of months - his latch and feeding was fine, but my boobs didn't stop hurting for ten weeks, and my baby was a cluster feeding monster. It went fine, still giving two feeds a day a year later! I'll actually quite miss it when we stop.

1. For us, he didn't start sleeping through until very recently (12 months old). No sleep training required, he suddenly just clicked.

Unfortunately I'm so used to waking every few hours, I don't usually sleep through. :/

I've found that with each stage, I'm looking forward to him growing and developing, loving how he is now, but also missing what's gone by too. Gummy smiles. Portability. The ability to pop them down and know that they won't go anywhere...

Jelly don't apologise! There's loads of useful info on your thread and it's definitely worth hearing both sides. I'm not going into this with rose tinted glasses. I just felt I needed to hear some good stuff too, to balance it out

Thanks pippa and daffodil for the reassurance. I think if I hadn't had such a rotten pregnancy, I wouldn't be quite as worried about all the hard stuff that comes with a newborn. I'm just so exhausted now that I can't help but think of my due date as a fresh start - even if I end up a different kind of exhausted!

Thanks everyone for the lovely stories. It's been great to read and helps remind us why we're doing it, even on the really rough days.

Having made a person. (When I think how clever I am, I remind myself that dogs, cats and mice can do this).

That they're not quite a person yet. More of a little creature who will become a person.

Lots of people love babies, so you have inane chat with old dears.

Realising how much my mum loves me.

Cake.

Getting to see lots of my friends.

Making mummy friends who are happy to talk milk/sleep/poo but will also see you through to real life.

Silky soft baby skin

Tiny fingers and toes

Baby clothes

It's just a lovely time, you do have to change priorities but of my child rearing years newborn was just beautiful. You are learning to love them and understand them.

Lovely thread

Newborn skin
Their helplessness, dependency on you and trust in you
Sense of pride
Having a purpose
Not having to go to work
Watching lots of tv
Time to spend as you please
Breastfeeding is like magic
Doing it your own way
Love, cuddles
Making new friends

My two mat leaves have been the best days of my life. Can't believe I get to do it a third time soon!

(Stitches were awful, breastfeeding was easy, sleep deprivation is hard)

Early morning starts. There was something magical about putting on the news at 6am when the rest of the world was asleep. Admittedly it doesn't feel so magical at 2am but I cherish and miss those days. I'm still up at 6am and there are two gangly teenagers languishing in bed.

I loved:
Little tiny chubby hands patting you when they want milk or cuddles
Getting out and about- turns out I love organising trips and enjoyed getting the baby ready for mega adventures and outings
Feeding: was bricking myself about both breastfeeding (painful and hard?) and formula feeding (complicated and stressful?) and after a few minor niggles have really enjoyed both
Laughing at all these ridiculous situations they put you in. Never though I'd laugh at someone shitting up the wall but it turns out it's pretty funny when you have a cute, innocent-eyed baby doing it
Having an excuse to watch 5 series of Grey's Anatomy back to back
Also, labout was brutal but not the 48 hour ordeal I'd been dreading.

their smell, cuddle, you just want to eat them.

A trip to Marks & Spencer's takes forever because you have to stop and talk to all the old ladies...which I love!

Ahhh so many things!
That moment they put baby on your chest for the first time
How they melt into your body for a cuddle
Their soft skin and hair
The way they stretch
Watching them sleep
Holding them while they sleep so you can just drink them up and etch those memories into your brain
Smiles
The first time they do something and how pleased they are with themselves
The rolls of chub and squishy cheeks
The giggles. Oh god how that is the best sound ever!

I could go on. Babies are awesome. Being a mum is awesome. You forget the shit parts quickly

My babe just turned 1 and it's been the best year of my entire life.
I've never been more tired and I've never felt so much love. For her, or my DH. If I'd have known how it felt I would have started years ago and have at least 10 by now.

DD slept through from the first night home - well, 5 hours, which isn't bad, and soon became 8. She only woke if poorly or dirty.

However, she was a whopper, and birth was awful, so I guess no one gets it all! She's now a strapping 3.5 year old, and you have SO much lushness to come. Having serious discussions about whether 'burgulars' are naughty and should be sent to prison, or sad and need cuddles. The insistence on wearing weird items of clothing, or none. The joy they get from fairly ordinary things. Their gorgeous face. It gets even more lovely, and harder, and more tiring and wonderful.

Well, you want an alternative to "hardest year of my life", so the below is my experience. Addressing your specific concerns...

1. To tear, have stitches and be in a load of pain post recovery

• I had an episiotomy and stitches. I couldn't look at it because I felt I'd been destroyed forever Down There. I developed the inevitable infection. I made DP take me back to hospital because I thought I was dying. I wasn't. DP later had to look at the massive cut for me and was very obviously horrified. I didn't care about any of this though, because I had a baby (and a few months later it's like it never happened, just like they promised).

2. For breastfeeding to be hard and hurt

• baby emerged, latched on and that was that. No pain, easiest thing ever and a source of constant delight, comfort and happiness for all concerned.

3. To never sleep again

• co-sleeping is the answer. Having a newborn was like a constant sleep party for us - baby went to bed with us, slept for as long as we wanted to and fed on and off all night without waking me or DP up. Bliss!

And in general...

• newborns are easy. Tiny, transportable and they sleep all the time. Get a sling and a backpack for the nappy bag and it's like being pregnant again except you don't feel like shit. You can do everything you did before they were born provided you don't mind stopping to feed if they squawk and I mean EVERYTHING - going out for dinner, going to the cinema, you name it. This does change as they get older so make the most of it!
• Having a newborn is the opposite of being pregnant - you're surfing a wave of happy hormones so mega it's like the best pill of your life on repeat. I hated being pregnant.
• Even the difficult stuff (honestly, my episiotomy was GRIM) won't even register because you will be high as a kite on love for this tiny perfect person, more perfect than any person ever created before or after.

Congratulations OP! Ignore the doom mongers. Babies are great!

We're not "doom mongers"
We're just answering the question honestly.
It's all well and good to say "babies are easy" - yours might have been, but not all babies are, and comments like yours risk making someone feel even worse if they're having a difficult time.

The way their wee bum sticks out when you lift them up!
I had prepared myself for a tough time breastfeeding and was surprised by how quickly we got it. (Took about a week to feel confident). Also I don't have a great sleeper (still up at least once on a good night) but was surprised by how I was just able to manage. To be fair though first month or so was a sleep deprived haze.
But you could be having the worst day ever and all it takes is a wee smile or cuddle to make it worthwhile!

I have had 2 babies and am yet to experience the newborn bit. My first boy died 17 days old in the Nicu. My second boy is perfectly well but I had a huge postnatal breakdown and was in a mother and baby unit til he was 7 weeks old, cared for most of the time by the staff.

I didnt think I could bring myself to have another but after reading these, I think I can. Thank you for all sharing. X

- Even the difficult stuff (honestly, my episiotomy was GRIM) won't even register because you will be high as a kite on love for this tiny perfect person, more perfect than any person ever created before or after.

Not everyone gets that. I didn't have the rush of love either time. I adore them, but it wasn't instant by any means.

Best bits: cuddles, the smell, milk drunkenness (and then when older that cheeky smile they give you while nursing), the smiles and giggles, how perfect they look when they're asleep.

With DS2, watching the relationship develop between him and DS1 has been amazing.

Shamon

Cheers orangebird69 I WILL get my newborn fix next time. My second is 2 now and I flipping love this bit. Hes actually my hero. Every morning he wakes me with "morning mummy, bweakfast now please" it sets the days off perfectly. X

Every little milestone, first coo, hitting a pan with a spoon, smile ect. I find people who constantly post about their kids massively annoying but I understand the pride.

The mornings when you go get them and they stretch their little arms out for you to pick them up and smile when they first see you