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Original poster

Request Poem to share.

28 replies

OnNaturesCourse · 26/07/2017 07:25

Morning (:

Posting in here as not sure where else it would fit.

I'm due first baby in November and the gender is a surprise.

One reason we chose not to find out the gender is we really are not fans of stereotyping genders in terms of colours / clothes etc in newborns, much prefer them in whites/greys/pastels etc until they are around 6 months. Our concern was people would buy all pink for a girl, all blue for boy etc.

With this in mind, when we announce babys arrival, or just before, we were considering putting up a little post/sharing a little poem that politely asks people not to gender buy. Sort of like "our little one is due any day, the gender is yet unknown but we are not a fan of pinks and blues anyway" (I'm rubbish at writing)

Is anyone good at poems etc that could help?

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
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SisterMortificado · 26/07/2017 07:42

Barring the whole 'sex is not gender' thing (sex is your biology, gender is its expression) I wouldn't worry too much.

Nobody knew what I was having so everyone had bought neutrals anyway. I received a few monstrosities (a neon pink tutu and matching headband-bigger-than-her-head spring to mind) but most people knew my tastes anyway so even the 'girly' onesies were on the neutral end of the scale.

If you're dead-set on saying something, I wouldn't put up a poem. Seems a bit twee and cutesy, when something like "While we deeply appreciate any and all gifts received, we'd like to let you all know we'd really prefer neutral items, regardless of baby's sex" is more plain-spoken. Up to you, though.

Good luck with everything!

Original poster
OnNaturesCourse · 26/07/2017 07:50

Oh, it's nothing to do with the whole gender/sex thing. It's simply that we don't like stereotypical colors on babies. It ages them and we want our baby to be a newborn looking baby for a little while... In our opinion.

We thought poem as we could share it easy, and before the baby shower too. Our families are insistant on us finding out the gender, and a few are already sharing ideas on some horrific (again opinion) potential purchases (bright pink neon tutu covered in gem stones with matching booties?)

I think a poem would keep it lighthearted but direct enough so they know we are serious.

Silly thing to think about really but I just don't want people wasting money or being disappointed when we don't dress baby in the clothes.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/07/2017 08:47

You won't like this, but I think it's pretty rude to tell people what you want unless they ask. If family are sharing ideas, by all means say that it's not to your taste and say what your plans are. Perhaps you could mention that you have plenty of X but could do with some more Y if anyone was planning on getting a gift. I really don't like the idea of a poem.

SheSaidHeSaid · 26/07/2017 08:54

I agree with testing, I wouldn't say anything until you're asked and even then I definitely wouldn't use a poem.

If you're given bits you don't like, which might be unlikely as I imagine you'll get neutral items mostly anyway, either exchange them in the shop or give them to charity.

Pre-empting presents seems a little grabby or expectant, sorry.

Hmmalittlefishy · 26/07/2017 08:59

If your having a baby shower as well as gifts when the baby arrives won't you need to tell people before the baby arrives? I assume you are getting gifts at the baby shower as well
Don't assume you will like all neutral clothes either!
I think it's a little rude but up to you. To be honest if I saw that poem I would just buy an outfit 6-9 months purposely in pink or blue (but I may just be a cow like that!!)

Hmmalittlefishy · 26/07/2017 09:01

Actually colour regardless I tend to buy bigger sizes as you get innundated with 0-3, 3-6mths

PokemonDont · 26/07/2017 10:13

For the love of God, do not do a poem. Please. Everyone hates them. They do not come across as "lighthearted but direct", they come across as twee and grabby and smug and awful. You're LESS likely to get what you want if you do a poem. Rhymes do not make things friendlier.

Just say something direct but upbeat like "It's a girl/boy! We're still going to keep things gender-neutral to start with though, so no going crazy with the pink/blue please, guys".

But be prepared for people to ignore you whatever you say, though. People enjoy choosing stuff they like for babies.

Firsttimemama2017 · 26/07/2017 10:25

If you are bought a gift you should accept what the giver wants to buy you.

Demanding neural colours is ungrateful and a bit precious!

You could always say to those who ask what you would like as a gift that you prefer neutral coloured clothes but I wouldn't broadcast it in any way.

If I received a messsage like that from a parent to be they wouldn't be getting a present!

AnUtterIdiot · 26/07/2017 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntieStella · 26/07/2017 10:40

I really wouldn't put this in a poem!

The people, whomare likely to give you things are the people you will be talking to anyhow.

Just tell them you prefer unisex. And exchange anything that turns up which isn't.

NEmum · 26/07/2017 10:58

@OnNaturesCourse please please don't do a poem, a receiver of such poem will turn it into a Mumsnet thread & it'll end up in the Daily Mail...

Just return stuff you don't like & get a gift voucher. The giftee doesn't ever need to know.

Louanne89 · 26/07/2017 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PokemonDont · 27/07/2017 10:51

I'm sorry but that poem barely even makes sense. People won't know what on earth you're talking about.

Seriously, why do you want to say this in a poem form? I am genuinely at a loss about why people think this is a better way to communicate? How does it help in any way?

SheSaidHeSaid · 27/07/2017 11:33

I'm glad you said it Pokemon although the poem has been deleted now anyway.

Original poster
OnNaturesCourse · 27/07/2017 11:58

How come it's rude to make a request like this, but not rude to make up those wish lists things or register for gifts?

Sorry but I asked for assistance with writing a poem, I did not ask for peoples opinions on sharing said poem.

Boils my blood when people just skip the whole original question.

OP posts:
SheSaidHeSaid · 27/07/2017 12:08

How come it's rude to make a request like this, but not rude to make up those wish lists things or register for gifts?

Actually, I think wish lists and registers are a bit rude as it's still expecting to it asking to receive gifts. What's wrong with saying nothing until someone actually asks?

You asked for poems that may help and people have come on to say they don't think any poem will help. The one poem someone posted made no sense and wouldn't help either.

helly29 · 27/07/2017 12:24

This is not something to get so worked up over!

For what it's worth, I don't think letting people you're close to know your preferences is 'grabby' - let's be honest, people generally want to buy presents for a new baby, and I tend to find it helpful to know what a friend would prefer.

However, I agree with pp that a poem is likely to backfire - you only need to see countless threads on poems in wedding invites.

I can't help you write one as I don't think there's a good way to put it in a poem. Whatever colours you get, there will always be some items that just aren't to your taste - either suck it up and put them on baby when the giver is around or don't and have done with it!

NEmum · 27/07/2017 12:28

@SheSaidHeSaid agree wholeheartedly

@OnNaturesCourse if people ask what you'd like then tell them but saying it in advance is rude, just as lists/registers. I don't know anyone who had a baby register so I think it's a bit of a myth conjured up by John Lewis and such like.

I hate it when people are rude in reply to questions on here however I think there has been some kind, well meaning advice - good luck with your baby!

Original poster
OnNaturesCourse · 27/07/2017 12:29

I've asked for the thread to be removed.

World war 3 over someone wanting help with a poem.

OP posts:
Doublefecker · 27/07/2017 12:34

We don't know if we're having a girl or boy
So here's a poem to annoy
Buying a gift is supposed to be up to you
Just make sure it's not pink or blue
You're probably by now saying jeez
But gender neutral items only please

SheSaidHeSaid · 27/07/2017 12:41

World war 3? There isn't an argument anywhere on this thread.

LookImAHooman · 27/07/2017 12:50

Double I just spat out my olive Grin

Nature, with the best will, people are going to give opinions and you only have to spend any time elsewhere on MN to see how these poems are generally received. Personally, the reason I can't stand them is because I find them cheeky in their twee-ness. As people keep referencing them, I haven't actually got a problem with people having a register (tho sending it unsolicited is a very different matter Hmm) and if I asked someone what they would like, I'd tenfold rather get a link to a registry than patronising, grabby verse. Sorry, but that's what it is and why it gets backs up. Stating preferences directly, when asked, is far more polite and respectful - and at the end of the day, as we are talking about people giving gifts that they don't have to, that is what you need to bear in mind. I appreciate you don't want to see their efforts wasted but as a PP said, you won't only get things to your taste anyway. Either wear it for a photo or exchange or charity it.

westeringhome · 27/07/2017 13:21

Boy or girl what will we have?
A lovely surprise, who knows!
If you're so kind to buy a gift,
Forget the pink / blue clothes!

Sorry OP it's shit but thought I'd give it a shot. I'm due November too Smile fwiw with my first daughter I was adamant I would not be dressing her in any pink, but it turns out she really suits it as a colour.

MaidenMotherCrone · 27/07/2017 13:32

How about this

We've completely lost sight of what a gift should be,
You must only buy what WE want because we are Grabby
'It's the thought that counts' is a load of shite
Only spend your cash on stuff that's neutral, grey or white.

westeringhome · 27/07/2017 14:02

Everyone knows sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and I'm sure if you were after so many shit responses you'd have posted in AIBU where the usual charmers never fail to disappoint. Sorry to see so many here OP.