Breast Feed or Bottle Feed

[confusedat23]

Hi,

I am looking for info on both really... It is so hard to find unbiased information and I have always been a believer that it doesn't matter which way you feed!

However now I am preganant (almost 24 weeks) I feel like it is such a major decision and cannot make my mind up! I bought all the stuff for both really cheap in the sales so I am prepared either way (I will just sell or donate stuff I do not use).

Also to add to matters I have low Papp-A which means I have growth scans to check on baby and there is a chance we might have a premmie... I have heard that you need to hand express and then breastfeed with a premmie as they cannot process formula (this might be the biggest BS ever, but adds to the feeling of being forced to breastfeed).

I am just really not sure what to decide!

tiba I'm sorry to hear that. I really don't think anyone is judging you, but I can saw as a mom it's hard to believe that. I'm dealing with a toddler who has entered the Terrible Twos early and I feel judged every time I take her in public and she has a mega tantrum.

Only you know what is best for your baby and your family, but IMO exclusively pumping as you are is possible one of the hardest roads. Is there any La Leche League group near you? They have counsellors that can give you advice. I do know a woman who got her child back on the breast after 2 months so it's possible - if that's what you want of course.

Good luck

Gin why would I lie about the cost of formula?!

It's £8 a tin (maybe £9 now with inflation?).

@user1498166085 this took me less than a minute.

More and more woman have to purchase these formulas due to reflux, cmpa, allergies and because manufacturers seduce them with "advanced" ingredients

Still want to suggest I am a liar?

tiba my friend is doing similar and I have a massive amount of respect for her, and for you. I know she feels judged too, but we all feel judged for something. My baby was crying in a cafe yesterday and the women at the next table were glaring at me.

As for the other comments, I'm a happy, non complainy mum and I breastfeed. I don't have to turn down spur of the moment invitations because I don't have enough formula with me, I don't have to worry about running out, and night feeds take 10 minutes of sleepy cuddles. If I want to leave him my husband gives him a bottle of expressed milk or occasionally formula. He does all the nappy changes and bath times when he's here, and all the cooking and cleaning. There's more to equality than feeding a baby.

For all the accusations that breastfeeding mums get of being militant, I've never seen any one of them as militant as user.. is about formula feeding.

"Formula feeding is more feminist" is the most ridiculous thing I've read on here in a while. Yes, look at the actions of formula companies like Nestle and what they've done to women and children in the developing world. So very feminist... 🙄

LAUGHING OUT LOUD at the feminist argument. I'm a strong feminist as is my husband and I'm currently pregnant with no2 and still breastfeeding no1 at 2 yo!

But that aside I had a pretty easy time getting no1 to breastfeed. What ever you do just know in ten years time it won't seem as huge a decision as it seems now x

Good luck with whatever you do x

Well this has gone a bit bonkers hasn't it? OP I hope you can sift through the crazy.

Also, nobody needs to use goat's milk formula. If you're going to use formula, ordinary Cow and Gate, SMA, Hipp or Aptamil is perfectly fine. If your baby does turn out to have any allergies your doctor will advise you on which kinds of formula you can use.

@BertieBotts whilst that might be the case, I was using the products to illustrate at it is a fallacy to suggest that all formula costs £7. Another example,of how parents are held to ransom, when a tub of formula retails at £22. Unbelievable.

Gin...um...

And gin, I love how you've done "sort price high to low"

I'd talk to professionals about it, as they will probably be better able to advise.
Most will say try to breastfeed. I didn't want to even attempt it, so I didn't.
The midwife while I was pregnant didn't like it and tried to put down I would try, but I insisted that I would not be.
Thankfully the midwife and student midwife in the birth centre were so supportive and kind and handed me the pre made formula warmed up and ready, no judgement from her (I loved my midwife and student as you can tell).
Ultimately it's your choice and you shouldn't feel pressured to do something you're not comfortable with at all. It's not for everyone.

If you're baby is allergic to normal formula, your GP will write a free prescription for the more expensive milk.

@user1498166085

What point are you trying to make? My argument to you was that whilst you might have spent £7-9 on formula there was plenty of formula costs way more than £9. And is sold in large volumes.
I have proved that.

Gin, formula feeding is not a faff. It's so easy to make up a bottle. I've exclusively ff my son, as did my mum with all of us. I made bottles the same as she did (and I made bottles for my brother and sister as well).
Boil kettle, wait 30 minutes, pour in water, add powder, put lid on and shake. Allow to cool then put in the fridge. Simple as that.
I know now it's advised to make as needed, but I don't go for all that personally. Also I don't see the need for a machine to do it for you at all. And for sterilising, the bottles are being washed anyway, doesn't take long to put them in the steriliser after.
Sorry but it bugs me when people say ff is such a faff. It's really very simple.

@user1498166085 hence the price sort.
If you're going to make assertions prepare for them to be refuted.

And on the subject of expensive formulas being prescribed that is often a real struggle that takes a lot of time with half baked GP s now under real budgetary pressure and happy to fob mothers off, as I know from several friends and other women's experiences. Often mothers and babies are out through months of hell until anything is resolved and in the meantime who is coughing up for the formula? Not the NHS.

My problem with you is that you made this discussion into something it didn't need to be. And you know it.

I don't really care how people feed their babies. It doesn't make them better of worse mothers if they can't or don't breastfeed.

What I do have an issue with is people like you implying that people's relationships or parenting approaches are failing because of feeding methods: that formula is the same or superior to breastmilk which is just garbage and that we are repressed, exhausted and full of rage because we are undertaking one of the most natural and primal functions a women's body is designed to do.

For you to then set yourself up on some sort of feminist platform based on those notions is breathtakingly ironic.

That's me done with you and your little bout of attention seeking.

If you hate breastfeeding mothers that much pop over to netmums where if you dare say anything positive about breastfeeding half the time you are virtually lynched. They'd love you.

@kel1234 it will take a bit of doing but scroll down and you will see that I ebf for a good six months then also combination fed. Well my son but not really my daughter who refused all bottles until a year old. So I can speak from personal experience.

Your feeding choices are your own, but someone on here has suggested that spills over into who you are as a person and I don't like that. Hence my responses.

But I still maintain at 3 am it's a pain in the arse compared to do all that when just picking them up in a sleep stupor and putting them to your breast takes ten seconds.

I breastfed for the first 3 days. At this point I had spent the greater part of two years pregnant. We lost our first daughter at 20 weeks, I had issues with retained products, two post partum haemorrhages and we had to undergo genetic testing. Subsequently the pregnancy with our second was not easy, I was riddled with anxiety and fear, scanned every 2 weeks and had horrendous kidney issues towards the end. In all honesty by the 3rd day of her screaming and having her permanently attached to me feeding as she was jaundiced, I just wanted my body back. I know that sounds awful but I did, I just wanted it to feel like it was mine again. So I stopped and started formula feeding and we've never looked back. I was happier, she was happier and it was just better for us.

@valeriarrgh sorry to hear about what you went through,
As you say it's your choice.
We can only do what we feel is right and best.

The difference is you haven't added a postscript to yours that involves polarising those choices or necessary decisions as some sort of judgement on women and feeding babies in general.

Gin, you seem like a very angry person.

OP, try to ignore the angry ones! They seem to need a lot of validation. My advice is to steer clear of the gender essentialist ones too (girl jobs, boy jobs - just like Theresa May!).

Firstly please don't take too much of the 'advice' you've been given on what you can and cannot do (your quote above 'l plan was to combination feed but was told by midwives I wouldn't be able to. I then asked if i could express instead so DH can help feed and i can pre-prepare bottles before going out etc... but I was told I wouldn't be able to do that until baby is at least 8 weeks old also').

I had low PappA, baby was fine and contractions started 36 hours after my due date, so wanted to reassure you on that, also read many stories about low PappA on here and all were ok.

Back to feeding, my DD is now 3 months and we combination feed, we started this about a week after she was born as her severe tongue tie was making BFing AGONY. At first it was one bottle a day for a while just to give me a break, at 7 weeks her tongue tie was fixed (far too late but NHS referral took ages for her some some reason) but I still combination feed, it has saved my sanity! I did it at first to relieve my nipples, I continued to do it as BFing in public is bloody hard with H cup boobs, it means my DH can take over overnight so I can catch up on sleep and also means I get to go out without her and she is looked after by my DH or one of her lovely Grandmas (trust me this is very important as a new mum if you're like me!).

I'm not sure why the midwives are saying what they have to you as ultimately you do with what works for you and you will only know what that is when your baby is here. I planned on exclusively breastfeeding and really hated the idea of formula (to which I feel incredibly bad about now) but now I love doing both, I even enjoy making up the bottles and prepping the formula.

I'm also glad we introduced the bottle so early as she was used to it from so young and goes between the two effortlessly.

I'm glad you have read up on colostrum too, DD wouldn't latch for days so had to hand express it into syringes, it was soul destroying for me as I don't think I'd really researched it, plus I'd had an awful 48 hour labour ending in an emergency c section and the BF consultants in the hospital were bloody awful. Midwives were amazing though.

As others have said above, as you are open to both, try BFing and go from there. There are pros and cons to both so in a way combination feeding for me is a win win!

Oh and on night feeds as I've seen it here mentioned.... I sometimes BF overnight and sometimes FF. Depends on how awake I am, she'll down a bottle in 15/20 mins but BF for up to 45 mins so I keep a sterilised bottle and and one of the Cow & Gate premade formulas next to my bed. Easy.

@user1498166085
I'm not angry.
I just think you're a bit of a space cadet. Big difference

Gin, It is absolutely personal choice. Had I felt able to continue breastfeeding I absolutely would have, bottle feeding comes with its own set of annoyances (like having to sterilise every. little. thing. I swear I will have a ritual burning of the blasted Milton bucket) but by that point I had mentally and physically had enough and could feel myself slipping into a place I didn't want to be.

I think if the OP is going to learn everything from this thread is that there is strong feeling on both sides and everyone is going to have an opinion.

Anything not everything. Bloody autocorrect.

It is horrible to say that BF mothers don't have 50/50 relationships or that the fathers in such cases don't have a chance to properly parent. Truly horrible.

The rest can be filtered through and OP and others can decide but that is genuinely the only reprehensible "opinion" that has been expressed her and should be completely ignored.