Another baby

[topcat66]

Im 45 and desperate for another baby. My son is 20, from my first marriage. I remarried a year ago. My husband & I both work and are ok financially. I think about it all the time but am I mad...a) at my age b) my first marriage broke down when my son was 2 due to my having PND

I don't think you're mad at all, but - if you do start trying - you will have to be steadfastly realistic about your chances. I'm sure there are a fair few people on here who have conceived and had healthy babies at 45, but the chances aren't fantastically brilliant here. If you think any chance is worth taking, also think how you are going to deal emotionally with either A) nothing happening or B) (mulitple) miscarriages. If you can deal with either of those, then I'd say go for it. Don't worry about 'maybe' getting PND - you are different, so is your baby, so is your relationship - and you can cross that bridge when - or if - you come to it.

If you are going to go for it, do it now! I have heard things about 'It Starts with an Egg' (I used some of the advice in that for us - I'm late 30s) - good advice re diet anyway, but also specifics about perfume/make up and plastics, as well as supplements such as DHEA and Ubiquinol. To be honest, if you follow it, you will find it hard to divorce yourself totally from the process (and that might do anyone's head in, because it becomes all your life is about). But if you might take some bits and leave others.

To be brutally honest your chances of success are low, I read about 3% chance at 45. Plus the miscarriage rate is more than 50% and the chance of downs 1 in 30. It's still worth a try if you're mentally prepared for a difficult journey.