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Original poster

Aibu to think about not going

81 replies

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 11:44

I went to the midwife on Tuesday and have been told I'm 2 cm dilated,so far nothing has happened,im due to go to a wedding on sunday which is 2 hours away and would invove staying over Saturday and sunday night,would you go?

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Original poster
hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 14:14

weasel if I don't go into labour I could still get a lift back,but if I decide to go then I am commiting to the hotel booking,i can only cancel the hotel up to tomorrow,so if I go tomorrow but then go into labour ive still got to pay for the hotel for 2 nights and then a taxi home,so I'm not saving on the hotel

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Flamingoprincess1212 · 02/06/2017 14:14

Ok that's my suggestion out sorry OP! My dp "doesn't drive" as no car not in our insurance etc apologies.

Is the wedding near where family live, have any had dcs? Could someone lend you a car seat to get home with if necessary

And I guess most importantly Do you want to go?

Hope you get sorted soon xxx

anxiousandpregnant · 02/06/2017 14:17

I'd talk to your brother, explain that your 2cm dilated, that you have nobody to have your DC if you go into full blown labour, have no idea how you would get back home etc. and if he's a decent person he will completely understand. Its a very bad idea to go.

Original poster
hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 14:22

the wedding is not near where any family live,everyone is having to travel,even my brother doesn't live near the venue,we have a car seat as we needed to buy one as where I live they don't let you out of hospital unless u have one,i would like to go of course,its my brothers wedding,if it was local to me I wouldn't be thinking all these what ifs id just go and if anything happened id leave,but its a long way when you don't have a car and no one you can rely on

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Original poster
hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 14:25

I know my brother will understand,its just the not knowing,if I knew for sure the baby wasn't going to come id go but I just don't know,and id feel so bad if baby did stay put for 2 weeks and I had decided not to go

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CocoLoco87 · 02/06/2017 14:28

Maybe I've missed this up the thread but who will have your DC if you go into labour at home?

I would go with a hosp bag and car seat at the ready. Then if you do go into labour, book an uber or taxi all the way home, leave DC with whoever is meant to have them and off you go to hosp. Yes the taxi will be expensive and you'll potentially lose hotel money, but for me, all of my brothers would be worth it. Depends on your relationship with your brother though!

ILoveMyMonkey · 02/06/2017 14:32

For my brother's wedding I would cancel the hotel and book a taxi to take me to the venue on the morning of the wedding and home again on the same day, that way if the baby decides to make an appearance before the wedding day there's time to cancel the taxi and there's also no overnight stay.

If I went into labour up there and had no choice but to go to a local hotel then presumably a family member at the wedding could watch DC1 while DH is at hospital with you. (What were you going to do with her if at home?) Then I'd get a taxi home 4 + taxi driver = 5 so no problems there.

I'd do everything I could to make it to the wedding but that's just me. If you really don't want to risk it then don't.

ILoveMyMonkey · 02/06/2017 14:34

*local hospital not hotel Confused.

Oh and I would definitely take hospital bag, notes and car seat etc just in case.

Original poster
hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 14:38

my inlaws would have daughter if I went into labour at home,they are not going to my brothers wedding,im not bothered about the money we can get a taxi if need be,its more what will happen to my daughter,if they are all drunk at the wedding who will look after her and who will have her overnight and until I'm out of hospital

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AtrociousCircumstance · 02/06/2017 14:42

Don't go. Don't give it another thought.

You're already dilated!

Greylilypad · 02/06/2017 14:43

Why don't the in laws take your daughter for the night of the wedding? Does she need to go to wedding. Then you get a hired driver there and back on the same day. No hotel.

ILoveMyMonkey · 02/06/2017 14:45

How old is your DD? Could you leave her with your in laws rather than take her to the wedding? Or if you don't want to leave her with your family then take her to the hospital and your in laws come and collect her?

ILoveMyMonkey · 02/06/2017 14:46

Great minds @Greylilypad Wink

seven201 · 02/06/2017 14:59

I really don't think people would mind rallying together to help if you need it. E.g. If you did go into labour your in laws may offer to come and collect dc1. I'd do a 4 hour round trip after work for close friends or relatives. I wouldn't miss a sibling's wedding. Have you found out how much a taxi each way is?

haveacupoftea · 02/06/2017 15:00

The sensible thing to do would be take the lift and go to the ceremony, arrange transport back - cancel the hotel and spend the money on a taxi to take you all home. You don't miss the wedding then and you aren't stuck miles away from the hospital.

newmumwithquestions · 02/06/2017 15:05

I wouldn't go. I've gone from nothing to fully dilated in 3 hours. This involved a 30 min journey to a hospital which was bloody awful as it was so uncomfortable. I also threw up everywhere - doubt a taxi would love that.

Yes it's your brother but it sounds like it's a load of stress you don't need.

Original poster
hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 15:05

no,shes flower girl and brother would expect her to go even if I don't

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Greylilypad · 02/06/2017 15:13

So your daughter is going whether you go or not? Who is going to look after her in that case?

RandomMess · 02/06/2017 15:15

I would look at alternative ways of getting back on the Saturday!

ILoveMyMonkey · 02/06/2017 15:17

no,shes flower girl and brother would expect her to go even if I don't

How would that work if you and DH aren't there?

LurkingQuietly · 02/06/2017 15:19

Have you investigated how much a taxi to and from your house on the day of the wedding would be? I'd do that to be honest if I could afford it.

EsmesBees · 02/06/2017 15:21

I wouldn't. I went from 2cm to baby in 4 hours with my second.

Caterina99 · 02/06/2017 15:31

Wow my parents will literally drop everything and travel a really long way to look after DS when I have DC2. And I've got agreements with several friends that in an emergency labour and their parents don't make it on time that I'll watch the toddler u til they arrive and they'd do the same for me. I'm surprised that no one at your brothers wedding is prepared to stay sober and drive you, or stay with your child in the event of baby arriving. I'd do it for someone I hardly knew, let alone a close relative!

I'd see how much an uber/prebooked taxi is going to be to take you all and cancel the hotel if it's less. You'll sleep so much better in your own bed anyway and if you do go into labour it'll be much easier to cancel that.

Original poster
hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 16:10

haven't worked that out yet,but I know he would expect her to go as shes flower girl and they have got her a dress and flowers and spent a lot

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ForumUsername · 02/06/2017 17:16

Same as other posters I think you should cancel the hotel as you've limited time to cancel anyway
Then if you haven't gone in to labour get a taxi there and back on the day.
Your in laws can take your DD when you get back if that's needed

This way you still get to go if nothing happens and if something does you were justified to cancel original arrangements

If it was my brother I'd do everything I could to be there
It does sound like you just don't want to go

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