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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Aibu to think about not going

81 replies

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 11:44

I went to the midwife on Tuesday and have been told I'm 2 cm dilated,so far nothing has happened,im due to go to a wedding on sunday which is 2 hours away and would invove staying over Saturday and sunday night,would you go?

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Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 13:32

if I went into labour at home id get a taxi hospital is 5 mins from my house

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EdgarAllenPoe · 02/06/2017 13:32

I wouldn't go, even for close family. My cousin was born on another uncle's wedding day, we were all glad her mum chose to skip it! Would have rather distracted from the happy couple's big day, and wouldn't have been much fun for her either.

welshweasel · 02/06/2017 13:34

Surely at a family wedding one of your close relatives would agree to stay sober to accommodate you? Then they could drive you to the hospital if necessary and look after your other child in the hotel. I'd certainly do that for my sister/daughter/niece.

EdgarAllenPoe · 02/06/2017 13:35

My brother missed my wedding because he had a big exam the next day and didn't want to be knackered. I forgave him, life happens! I'd totally understand if someone was full term pregnant.

Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 13:35

That's why I'm torn,what if I don't go and nothing happens id feel awful for missing it,but on the other hand I don't want to risk it happening when we are away

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TheLegendOfBeans · 02/06/2017 13:36

Nope; wouldn't go for anything.

Dilation + being "three weeks early" = no way.

BobbinsBoo1 · 02/06/2017 13:37

I would go.

When I was pregnant with my last dc I went to my dh brothers wedding almost 2 hours away. I had had a tricky pregnancy and was 2cm dilated but no pains. So I went. Baby stayed put for anther 2 weeks so all was fine. But my dh drove us so we could have left at any point. Could you get a taxi or ask a family member not to drink so they could drive you to the hospital if you did go into labour?

Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 13:39

No one is driving to the venue,everyone is staying in hotels and getting taxis to the venue,think something to do with the venue not wanting people parking there overnight,im not bothered about making my own way to a hospital if anything did happen,its getting home as a family of 4 when we don't drive,we wouldn't all fit in the car we are going in as its a 5 seater and there would be 6 of us if I had baby too

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arbrighton · 02/06/2017 13:44

It sounds like you don't want to go as you keep coming up with 'reasons'.

So don't go

We're off to a wedding tomorrow but I'm not quite 36 weeks, we'll be close ish to a hospital, DH drives (and will moderate drink to be able to, like he did at wedding last weekend too).

We're also off to DH cousin 40th celebration on sunday, but if it had been next weekend as was mooted at one point, I wasn't going to go and while i'd have said he could, he may or may not have gone (my parents are close enough that Dad could drive me if DH 2 hours away)

welshweasel · 02/06/2017 13:44

I think you're overthinking this. You go into labour, you call a taxi or worst case, an ambulance. Someone will drive you all home. Honestly, if there's no one at that wedding who would do that for you then actually I wouldn't go. I'd do a 4 hour round trip to pick up someone I barely knew if they'd just had a baby 2 hours away from where they live and didn't drive. As would most people I know.

Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 13:51

I do want to go,but knowing my family I know they will all want to drink,none of them live near me apart from the ones who are taking us,who have already said that if I do go into labour they cant hang around as they need to go back to work on the tues,so if I was in a few days I wouldn't be able to get home,also the wedding isn't local to any of my family so everyone would be going home on the Monday,so basically no one I know would be in the wedding area after Monday

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NennyNooNoo · 02/06/2017 13:53

I went to my sister's wedding at 39 weeks and it was 4.5 hours drive away. We stayed over the night before the wedding, DH had to not drink at the reception so we could head back later on and stay at another friend's house n route. We took the baby car seat and my hospital bag with us just in case. So glad we went and my sister was too. DD was born 10 days later.

In your case, I would go, and just take a hospital bag in case. You can be slightly dilated for weeks. Is this your first baby? Any other symptoms - a show or contractions other than braxton hicks? If you did have these, then you could cancel at the last minute.

welshweasel · 02/06/2017 13:53

And no one would pop back one evening after work to pick you all up and drive you home? Really?

Ecureuil · 02/06/2017 13:53

I would go with a supportive family, but it doesn't sound as though yours are being particularly supportive...
I know in this situation my family would be bending over backwards to reassure me that if I went in to labour they'd help out in any way then could.

Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 13:55

obviously I'm going to be thinking about what happens if I go into labour,if it was my first child it wouldn't matter but I have another child to think about and you are all saying you would go but you say you drive,if the wedding was local to me I would go but its miles away and with no definite way of getting home it is a bit of a concern

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NennyNooNoo · 02/06/2017 13:56

Sorry, just seen you said you have another child. Did you have a quick labour? Would you be likely to know on the morning of the wedding whether it's going to come that day?

TheLegendOfBeans · 02/06/2017 13:57

Well don't go then! Just give the facts x

Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 13:59

so what do we do with our other child?and whos going to want to pop back after work to get us?its not round the corner it would be a 4 hour round trip so if they finished work at 5 they wouldn't get to us til 7 then home until 9,also what do we do just hover around the hospital,what if I'm discharged in the morning

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Greylilypad · 02/06/2017 14:00

It sounds like you just don't want to go. There are always ways around these things and surely someone would give you a lift home from hospital or you could pay a driver for this once off event. Being 2cm
really means nothing. I was 2 cm for weeks on both my DC, and went really overdue on both. Am now 40+4 on third and no sign of anything moving yet.
If it wasn't a family member, I wouldn't go but I would make extra effort to go for my brother. Surely someone you know would do you the favour of a lift or you could pay a driver for the day. Would probably not cost much more than price of hotel for family
Of 4 for two nights.

Flamingoprincess1212 · 02/06/2017 14:02

I wouldn't want to miss my brothers wedding obviously but I'd also hate to give birth so far away!

A quick question, have you and DP not got driving liscences or are you able to drive but have no car? If the latter could you look at car hire or borrowing for the wedding, and only go for the day?

Greylilypad · 02/06/2017 14:03

Ring a local taxi service or chauffeur service and see what the cost is to take you there and back on the same day. No hotel costs then

welshweasel · 02/06/2017 14:04

You clearly don't want to go and it's sounds like your family don't care whether you go or not (judging by how supportive they are being) so don't go.

welshweasel · 02/06/2017 14:05

Get a lift there as planned and get a taxi home. It won't cost as much as you think and you'd save on hotel costs.

Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 14:05

no they are not very supportive,my last labour was13 hours,i would have to travel up there tomorrow,i don't know how I would know on the morning of the wedding if it was going to come apart from waters going or pain,but even so it would be too late to decide not to go as id be in the hotel

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Original poster

hoolahoola22 · 02/06/2017 14:07

we don't have licences

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