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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Finding out gender

63 replies

Expecting2017 · 02/05/2017 21:15

I'd like to hear people's experience that have found out gender and have also not found out. Which did you prefer?

OP posts:

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upwardsandonwards33 · 02/05/2017 21:32

We found out so then would only have to use half the energy needed to think of names and so could plan a bit around which colour buggy to get and other bits. Of course you can be gender neutral in all your colours and put a boy in pink clothes etc but we didn't.

AnyFarrahFowler · 02/05/2017 21:38

We didn't find out, we both felt strongly that we wanted to find out at the birth. I didn't feel less connected to my baby just because I didn't know if it was "he" or "she" and I loved that DH was the one to tell me who we'd got!
I'm currently pregnant with DC2 and we're undecided as to whether or not we'll find out this time.

arbrighton · 02/05/2017 21:50

We haven't found out and it amazes me how many people assume we would have done.

Will be happy as long as either little girl or boy is ok.

Struggling with girl names a bit though

Neverknowing · 02/05/2017 21:52

I'm impatient so just wanted to know! It also meant we only had to think of girls names and made it a bit more real for me and DP.

NataliaOsipova · 02/05/2017 21:54

I wanted to find out - seemed odd to me that every HCP would know but I'd be asking them not to give me information. That said, I'm not very sentimental about this sort of thing generally.

ellesbellesxxx · 02/05/2017 21:54

I always thought I would want a surprise.. however after ivf and finding out at 7w it had worked and we were expecting twins, decided I had had enough surprises! My husband wanted to know all along.
As it was, one twin flashed at us so we wouldn't have been able to miss knowing! And actually it's been really lovely to plan for them both

ememem84 · 02/05/2017 21:55

We're finding out. I really want to know. And am secretly hoping for a girl as have seen some super cute dresses.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 02/05/2017 21:55

Didn't find out with DS1, but I knew he was a boy. Found out with DD (DPs first) and found out accidentally with DS2 because he was legs akimbo during the scan

ChickenBhuna · 02/05/2017 21:57

We know what we're having. We only really found out because we lost a baby late in pregnancy last year and decided that we wanted to hear everything the sonographer could tell us about our baby this time around.

ellesbellesxxx · 02/05/2017 22:00

Chicken

MrsELM21 · 02/05/2017 22:02

We didn't find out with DS, and then did with DD, the not knowing drove me absolutely insane with DS (I'm the type of person who as a child always searched for my Christmas presents) and almost took the shine off my pregnancy, then I had a horrendous birth and the 'big reveal' was just a tiny thing in amongst all the chaos, definitely not worth the wait for me!

Found out with DD, loved it, a really special moment at the half way mark, would definitely find out again!

Notsure1234 · 02/05/2017 22:15

We found out both times as pregnancy seemed to drag on forever and it was nice to have that little bit of excitement and 'surprise' in the middle once we knew everything looked okay. Meeting baby at the birth was special enough, I didn't feel I needed the added sex reveal element though I understand others are more patient than me!

NapQueen · 02/05/2017 22:17

We didnt find out first time. We only found out second time because everyone was asking dd (then aged 2.5) what she wanted and we felt it unfair to put that on her. So she knew what was coming.

If hell freezes over an accident happens we wouldnt find out again.

Rockspin · 02/05/2017 22:20

Found out with both. DH and I really don't like surprises, we are far too impatient! We can't even keep birthday or Christmas presents a secret from one another so for us we just had to know and were glad we found out.

melissasummerfield · 02/05/2017 22:21

I didnt find out with my first but did with my second, for me personally i prefered not knowing as its something to keep you going when you are in labour and i dont think you get many genuine suprises in life! Im have number 3 now and we are not finding out.

harryhausen · 02/05/2017 22:27

We didn't find out with either dc. I loved not knowing until the birth moment. I'm not entirely sure why. I think I liked the guessing. I think I kind of liked the idea that the baby announcing itself, like it had its own secret butler it decided to how up. Bit weird of me

harryhausen · 02/05/2017 22:28

Secret butler? *until it announced itself.

harryhausen · 02/05/2017 22:29

Crap sorry. *Until it decided to show up.

voobylooby · 02/05/2017 22:33

We didn't find out. One positive result was that I wasn't tempted to spend lots of money on gender specific clothes, it made me only buy neutral essentials which was good, rather than lots of useless 'outfits '.
I've had a boys name picked out for years. Girls names we found harder and we had a girl!

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 02/05/2017 22:35

We didn't find out with DC1 but did with DC2 (but didn't let on to other people that we knew)

I didn't really want to know either time but DH did and since I got my way the first time it seemed fair to go with his wishes the second time

It didn't make any difference to me that I recall and didn't make me feel any different about the pregnancy or baby

lorelairoryemily · 02/05/2017 22:39

We found out,it was lovely to know and plan for our little boy! We didn't tell anyone else that we knew, it gave us ages to think of his name and to choose things for him, we absolutely loved knowing!

LonelyCactus · 02/05/2017 22:49

I didn't find out with my first but did with my second. It was sort of exciting not knowing the first time around and I tried not to have any expectations but I did end up believing I was having a girl (I only have sisters, female cousins, my dad had 4 sisters, my mum had 3 so as silly as it might be I really did expect a girl!) and I was quite shocked, but very happy, to have a boy.
I'm really glad I know the sex this time around and if I had more children I'd want to know as well. DH feels the same.
For me it feels more real and I do feel more connected. It was a nice way to mark getting halfway through and ramped up my excitement a bit! I like planning and being prepared so I've really enjoyed buying lovely little outfits and talking to DS1 about his little brother, just little things like that.
Some people have been quite rude and vocal in their disappointment that we are having another boy and I would have found that very hard to deal with if I had just given birth but I've had time to get over the hurt and just enjoy knowing I'm growing another lovely little boy.

Dogsmom · 02/05/2017 22:57

We found out with both at private sexing scans, it was a lovely experience as it wasn't for medical reasons like the 12 & 20 week ones, as we were so relaxed we really enjoyed it and I found out it helped me bond as they immediately became a 'she' and not an 'it'.
I also wanted to be prepared for when they were born, I loved every minute planning and decorating their bedrooms and filling their wardrobes and toy boxes before I got too fat and uncomfortable, I didn't want to be forced to go shopping with a newborn and it was lovely to bring them home and just enjoy being a little family with all the stuff to hand.
I did worry it would spoil the suprise but it's still the same suprise whether it's at 16 or 40 weeks and as it happened with dd1 everything became chaotic at the end and there were 9 people in the room, she was sucked out and took away for a few minutes, any big reveal would've been totally lost and insignificant at the time.

Kennethwasmyfriend · 02/05/2017 23:00

I didn't find out. Fortunately not bothered about gender-specific clothes so no issue there. Hard to believe that's a real reason people give!

Obsidian77 · 02/05/2017 23:05

Didn't find out. Wouldn't have made any difference to us if we had known, there's nothing we would have done differently.

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