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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Finding out gender

63 replies

Expecting2017 · 02/05/2017 21:15

I'd like to hear people's experience that have found out gender and have also not found out. Which did you prefer?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

maltedmilk1 · 03/05/2017 11:35

We didn't find out and it really is worth the wait! I will never find out the sex before they arrive it just adds to the magic and there isn't much in life left to be a complete surprise so feel we should cherish those opportunities!

Lemondrop09 · 03/05/2017 11:38

Thanks Audrey I'll take a look at Frugi

DinoMania · 03/05/2017 13:26

We found out, my partner wasn't too bothered either way but for me I needed to know who I had in there. I know sex of a baby doesn't make that baby's personality as such but it helped us decide a name and now I call our little boy his name all the time whilst he is still inside me. This helps me accept this is happening and it's all real.

BroomstickOfLove · 03/05/2017 13:38

With DC1, we found out but didn't tell people. With DC2, we didn't find out. I preferred not knowing, but with DC2 everyone kept on trying to guess all the time, which I found annoying. So my recommendation would be to not find out, but to tell everyone else that you know but are keeping it to yourselves.

Original poster

Expecting2017 · 04/05/2017 06:58

Golden that is a lovely post and I'm very happy for you. I'm sure y I u wouldn't have been disappointed but possibly a little deflated and shocked! I've always wanted a girl but I don't mind if I have a boy. I have four nephews. And I'm 1 of 4 girls. So a granddaughter is definitely over due but I have a feeling I may have a boy too. Everyone is convinced it's a girl though and also said they couldn't imagine Me with a boy lol x

OP posts:

Whatsername17 · 04/05/2017 07:28

We didn't find out with dd1 as dh didn't want too. As she was born the midwife opened the baby's legs and dh told me she was a girl. It was lovely and dhs reaction was priceless. With dd2, we had a sexing scan at 16 weeks because dd1 wanted to know. She was 5 and my pregnancy hit her hard so we indulged her as we wanted her to.bond. only dh and I went to the scan (incase some thing was wrong.) The sonographer made a big fuss of the announcement and it was lovely. We told dd that the sonographer hadn't told us but had put a special card inside and envelope for the big sister to open. It was magical when she opened it and revealed she was having a sister. I have to say, both ways were wonderful but thr best thing was a healthy baby at the end. I was glad we found out with dd2 as we had people question is as to whether we were disappointed not to be expecting a boy. that would have upset me more if people had asked when she arrived.

SnackSnackEatAndCrave · 04/05/2017 08:00

We didn't find out. DP was desperate to know but I wanted the surprise and as I was the pregnant person I made the rules
When DD was born, the midwife showed him the baby first and that moment he said we had a girl was the best moment of my life (even though I'd secretly wanted a boy).
It's unlikely we'll have any more children but if we did DP wouldn't want to know the sex next time as that moment was so precious.

Firstimefreaked · 05/05/2017 14:55

I had a hard time connecting with the baby, that it that lived inside me that made me sick or might have been dead (had an anterior placenta so I didn't feel anything then) but as soon as I found out we were having a girl, she was no longer and it, she had a name and a future for me.... She now kicks like mad especially when I call her name x I love her and I think not knowing would have bummed me out, I think it depends on the persons and how they feel. I needed my gender reveal.

Oysterbabe · 05/05/2017 15:40

We didn't find out with DD and won't find out this time either. We still have all the gender neutral newborn stuff we bought for DD so will just use that. We don't really do outfits for the first few months and it's very easy to find lovely neutral babygrows.
I know some people like to find out, call it by a name, see it's face on a 4D scan and that's just never appealed to me. Having DH reveal the sex to me was a very special moment. I'd also worry about the sonographer getting it wrong.

kel1493 · 10/05/2017 21:38

I'd never dream of finding out the gender until the birth. For me, that moment where the midwife says "it's a boy/girl" then places your baby in your arms makes it all worthwhile. I feel it's so much nicer to be told you have a boy or girl, then have your baby in your arms, rather than just leave with a scan picture.
My husband really wanted to find out, but I said no, and that he'd regret it. After 9 months of him sulking about it, when our lo was born, he was say cuddling him and said "you were right, it's better to wait. I'm gals we didn't find out. We will defo wait next time".
So next time we won't be finding out either.
A lot of people were very surprised we didn't want to know, I was asked "isn't there a tiny bit of you that wants to know now?" But there honestly wasn't a bit of me that wanted to know. I never thought for a single second, maybe we could find out. Both times I was asked I said no, straight away, no hesitation. Best decision I ever made and i have no regrets at all. I honestly believe if I did find out, at the birth id regret it so much. So I'd never ever do it.

SoupDragon · 10/05/2017 22:28

I have 1) not found out 2) found out by accident just before the birth and 3) found out at 20 weeks.

I can honestly say it made no difference to how I felt at the birth or when meeting my baby for the first time. Absolutely none. :)

I don't quite understand how it could possibly spoil what is such a magical moment anyway. I remember looking down at my third-born (the one I found out by choice) and thinking something like "so that's who you are!"

FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue · 11/05/2017 10:36

We didn't find out on purpose as we wanted to avoid annoying gender stereotyping from random people and unwanted pink/blue gifts from friends and relatives. The number of people that were shocked with our decision was shocking! Colleagues at work would keep asking me 'do you know what you are having??', to which I'd respond with 'a baby' / 'a Frank Zappa fan' (because I had the most kicks one day I was listening to Hot Rats). Some people asked my DP about how we're going to prepare without knowing. WTFF?!? The fact that we think that a baby's sex determines our ability to bond with them proves once more that gender stereotyping starts from the womb.

newbian · 11/05/2017 11:00

Finding out the gender is always a surprise, although not much of one really as barring some rare genetic exceptions it's 50-50 boy or girl. It's no less of a surprise at 20 weeks than at 40. So just choose whichever you prefer.

We found out with DD and will do again with DC2 but I can see the appeal of knowing and not telling as I'm already irritated by the few people who know I'm pregnant (only 11 weeks now) making comments like "BOY THIS TIME WE HOPE!!?!?!" It's so irritating, it's not like we can choose and we're stopping at 2 children so whether it's a boy or a girl I'm DONE. So when we find out I'm tempted to pretend I haven't to shut everyone up.

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