Finding out gender

[Expecting2017]

I'd like to hear people's experience that have found out gender and have also not found out. Which did you prefer?

I didn't find out with any of my four.

Our babies were dressed in a lot of white and cream.

This will sound daft (probably is!) but not knowing helped me get through drug-free labours. I was adamant I wanted to do that if possible, and having a surprise as big as the gender waiting at the end was the right amount of motivation to get through it. It's one of the very few things that remain a surprise in modern pregnancies, although we also chose not to get any of those 4D ultrasounds as I didn't want to know what they may look like.

Natalia how would all the hcps know??

We found out at 16 weeks and had it confirmed at 20. I had fertility issues and was told I probably wouldn't conceive naturally so for us it was something we just couldn't wait to find out and I definitely feel closer to her knowing she's a little girl , however I do respect those who choose to wait too, it must be a lovely surprise!
If we're lucky enough to have more children after this one then I might suggest waiting next time

We wanted to find out. Although we didn't really get the choice anyway, the willy was obvious! Haha.

We found out with both. I'm not great with surprises and DH was happy to go with what I wanted, given that I'd be doing most of the work when the big day came. I loved knowing. We had the names sorted really early on. We didn't really go much for gender specific clothes and decor. I just felt it helped me know who was coming a little more. Of course it's still a huge shock once baby arrives anyway.

Didn't find out with ds. To me it feels like finding your santa presents when your a child, your a delighted by what you are going to get, but you don't get it yet, so now you have nothing to be surprised about so it makes you a bit sad!!

I prefer gender neutral toys, bouncer chair, pram etc as planned to use with all children (not that boys can't sit in a pink chair etc but I'm not a fan of pink EVERYTHING so wouldn't even if I had a girl!!)

We are now pregnant with dc2 and when hubby mentioned finding out this time I said no again. I am a tiny bit tempted but I know i would be disappointed at having no surprise!

Emma - for me finding out the sex is only one small part of the surprise. You still have the entire surprise and excitement of meeting your child for the first time!! What will they look like? That first hold, the first smell.... Eeek I can't wait!! ♥ for me finding out has in no way dampened my anticipation and excitement at all 🙂 x

I found out with three out of my four. The sonographer couldn't tell us the sex of one of them. I daydreamed through the rest of the pregnancy, imagining this magical moment where I discovered the baby's sex for myself after birth. In the end she was born on my bed with no midwives there and no pain relief and I was too concerned whether the baby was ok to check what sex it was!

I'm pregnant again and this is DP's first so we'll be finding out. Neither of us can wait :)

We chose to find out and I'm so glad we did! We had no preference, but were convinced we were having a girl so finding out it was a boy gave us the chance to adjust!

Fenella I'm also convinced I'm having a girl! Why did you think you were?

We haven't found out and surprised my how surprised people are we haven't definitely think it isn't the norm any more. It has become more tempting with extra scans to find out but glad I haven't doesn't really change a lot as would have been quite neutral in my styling of nursery/ pram etc any way. And we have come up with an name for each at the moment we call baby bubba do and that works fine.
Only thing is haven't brought many outfits (got lots of sleepsuits and baby grows) but in a way it's nice to wait to know there personality more :)

We didn't find out with DC1 and won't be finding out with the one I'm currently baking. It made zero difference to us what sex the child was, it's a small inconvenience to think up two names, and as for 'helping plan', I don't even understand what that means. We wouldn't do anything differently purely based on sex (colours etc).

The best part was after I'd gone through labour, poor DH looking on and feeling helpless, it was his job and his job alone to announce the sex. Pure joy! Can't wait to do it all again

@BeautifulLiar There haven't been any firstborn boys in either my or DH's families for decades - everyone has had girls!

We found out with all of our DC, now TTC again for the last time and this conversation has come up a few times.

We found out because we are both so impatient, it would of killed me to not find out but equally I'd of loved the surprise.

We found out with our first, I didn't want to at first (never thought I would hypothetically) but my husband really wanted to but left it to my choice.

I decided to because partly my fil declared that he wanted a grandson (he is 87 and this was his first grandchild) so if ds turned out to be a girl I didn't want and tinge on that so wanted him to get over it before she was born. But mainly because during the first scan my husband was blown away with seeing the baby and from that point it became real to him. So if him knowing boy/girl made him bond even more then I was all for that.

I did ask to keep it to ourselves (wouldn't of is ds was a girl because of fil) mainly to avoid questions on names as I didn't want anyone's opinion.

In the end I glad because I had an extra growth scan at 24 weeks and he decided to flash!

We found out and I'm really glad we did. We both had a very slight preference for a girl, so if we were having a boy, I felt it would be better to know in advance so we could adjust to the idea before birth. Turns out, we are expecting a little boy Now I can shop more easily as I do not want a wardrobe full of stereotypical blue - and it's not as easy to find non pink/blue/white baby clothes (although found some lovely greens and yellows in Next). Also means finding a name is easier, DH is already struggling with the pressure of finding a name and didn't want to have to stress over two when one wouldn't be used. Finally - I'm just not patient enough! I'm very happy with our decision to find out in advance.

Expecting our first and we chose to find out. I have a very poor relationship with my mum and have lots of anxiety about that relationship playing out with any daughters in particular (not all that logical, but that's anxiety for you). Finding out means that I have 4/5 months to think through what it means to be a mum to a daughter.

I didn't find out with DS although deep down convinced myself he was a boy from 6weeks.
When we eventually conceive DC2 I'm not sure what we will do. I would be keen not to find out as think there aren't enough surprises in life but at the bank of my mind I would like to know.
I wouldn't buy a gender coloured pram though... I went for petrol blue last time which is neutral, next time I will change the fabric on the pram probably to a red.. so suitable for any sex. Most prams you can't change the colour

I really didn't want to find out, but then we were told we were expecting twins and decided to find out what we were having.
Twins was enough of a surprise and we wanted to be really organised and have everything ready.

We didn't find out. Odd one but I was worried that if I knew prior to birth then I wouldn't bond with the baby because of preconceived notions of "what boys are like/what girls are like" if that makes sense.

Dh also kept going on about it being a girl and was gobsmacked when ds was pulled out. I also thought I wanted a girl (never vocalised it, just always saw myself with daughters) my ds is my the light of my life, and when I think back now, if I'd been disappointed for half a second that he wasn't a girl before I met him I think it would break my heart!

lemondrop try Frugi for excellent brightlying coloured non gender stereotypical/sex specific clothes.

When I was pregnant I was surprised to see how many people very strongly felt we shouldn't find out. And I don't even mean family or close friends

Anyway, from not long after we found out we were expecting, I just knew we were having a boy. Like I would have sworn I was 99% sure. So we found out because I wanted to see if I was right. And I knew I was right before the sonographer even confirmed it. It was bizarre, I was just so so sure!

We have out 20 week scan on Monday. OH desperately wants to know and very much so wants a boy (although wont be devastated if its not). I will admit i would have waited til birth but seeing how important it is to OH we are going to find out. I'm excited, nervous and worried all at the same time! My gut has been telling me its a boy from day one. The 12 week scan revealed nothing (50:50 nub theory) so who knows! 5 sleeps to go....

I didn't find out. On dd 1 I honestly believe I would have been a little disappointed if I was told she was a girl at 20 weeks. I always wanted a little boy. But betime I got to 35ish weeks I got a very overwhelming desire for a little girl. And she was.
Dd2 had no preference at the beginning but again towards the end got the same feelings I had with dd1. Makes me wonder if your body subconsciously tells you the sex. So you can prepare.
The midwife made a joke when I was pregnant with dd1. That not finding out the sex makes you push harder. It was definitely true for me. It's like opening a Christmas present. It's very exciting after 9 months of waiting you finally find out the sex.
Plus I think people who find out the sex tend to over shop.
Most of my friends and family chose not to buy for my babies until after they was born because they didn't know the sex. Same with me. I didn't buy much until after they born. But if I new I was having a girl I wouldn't have been able to resist all the beutiful wee dresses.
I know a lot of people who found out the sex in the summer. Gone out and stocked up on massive supplys of gendered clothes. Without thinking that they wouldn't give birth until winter! So therefore a load of clothes left unused.

I feel very strongly that if you have a strong preference you should find out. If you don't care, I think it can be a lovely surprise to find out when they're born. I'm pregnant with our first. We found out he was a boy at 16 weeks. I'm very girly and I've always got on much better with females (both children and adults).I wrote a long post about being worried to be having a boy and got really flamed for it by the type of women who think there is no difference between males and females. Anyway, finding out was the best thing I could have done. I had got myself so over-excited about bringing up the girl I'd always dreamt about, that I needed to adjust my ideas and get my head around having a boy instead. I'm an over-thinker and I'm anxious, so I needed that time. Our baby is due soon and I'm so in love with him already and so excited about him. I would have HATED to have any disappointment when he was born and I know 9 months of expecting a little girl would have left me that way at his birth. I still get people who don't know his gender telling me I'd suit a girl better or that they can't see me with a boy, but I can rise above those comments now. Maybe they're right but I'm now confident that I won't fail at being a good mum to him. If we have another baby I still feel a real need for a little girl but I'll go into the pregnancy fully expecting a boy. And I'd find out sooner next time (by Harmony test at 11 weeks). Another big plus for me about finding out was that I personally find shopping for nice boys' clothes much more difficult and expensive, so I've had time to hunt for things I really love at good prices in the sales, rather than be stuck with the same old cars and trucks and dinosaurs. Of course, not everyone cares about fashion that much so it wouldn't matter to a lot of people, and that's fine too. We also find boys' names much more difficult because there is less flexibility to be creative (same thing as the clothes really), so it's been good to have a focus on a boy's name instead of both. I think the ideal is to find out yourselves as a couple but not tell the world. That way you get to announce a surprise too! Hope you've found the responses helpful!

We didn't want to find out with our first and told the sonographer. However when she'd finished her measurements she left an image on the screen that gave no question we were having a boy!