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Original poster

Do midwives know sex of baby at appointments?

23 replies

Littlejayx · 29/04/2017 11:14

I'm confused! Hmm I went for my 28 week appointment, did all the usual measures and blood tests. Then one of the midwifes made the following comment " oh so your having a girl are you" to which the other midwife explained I wasn't finding out the sex of the baby. Has she massively slipped up or just assumed to how I'm carrying? I don't mind either way I'm just confused Confused. Any ideas?

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Screamifuwant2gofaster · 29/04/2017 11:16

Think she may have slipped up. Probably you are having a girl. Congratulations.

April241 · 29/04/2017 11:21

Sounds like she has maybe slipped up although when I was pregnant with my twins one midwife kept referring to them as "boys" and when I said I didn't know what I was having she got all flustered and said she just uses "boys" as she doesn't like to say "it". Turned out I had once of each so she didn't know.

Also I don't think they write the sex in your notes, my personal set didn't have any sexes written down and anytime I seen a new consultant or midwife they'd ask what I was having after reading my notes. Not sure if it was written down and they just wanted to make sure I knew or not though.

kel1493 · 29/04/2017 11:21

I'm not sure. We chose not to find out the sex. My 1st scan was late so I could have found out then. But I said no. Also at my second scan I said no. I had a growth scan at 37 weeks and explained that we didn't know the sex and didn't want to. They always turned the screen away before they got to that part, so we couldn't see.
No one ever accidentally slipped up and told us anything. So I don't know if there is something in the notes that says that we didn't want to know.
I would be disappointed if that happened to me though.

2Pinkhydrangea · 29/04/2017 11:26

Sounds like it.

My friend went for a scan last week and didn't want to know the sex. The midwife told her that she wouldn't tell her so, but that it was 'very obvious' what it is. Of course now my friend interprets this to mean that it's a boy as it must have had a penis.

I just wish that they wouldn't comment, unless you ask.

gigi556 · 29/04/2017 11:32

We decided not to find out (very excited for our forthcoming surprise!). I asked the midwife at one of my appointments if they knew (I.e. Was it written in my notes following my 20 week scan) and she said no. So I didn't think it was recorded... maybe it depends on the trust?

Emma2803 · 29/04/2017 11:36

Were you getting scanned at that appointment?
My consultant slipped out what we were having, it was maybe 36 weeks. I had specifically said before the scan that I didn't want to know so I would look away. After the scan she was talking about something and said he quickly followed by or she or he. I was a bit annoyed but convinced myself it was just the way she said it.we had a boy

Original poster
Littlejayx · 29/04/2017 12:04

No it wasn't a scan just a check up, she really back tracked on it afterwards which made me suspicious Hmm. I don't really mind knowing, it's my boyfriend who didn't want to know. I just didn't know they held that information ha.

OP posts:
Emma2803 · 29/04/2017 13:10

Did you read through your notes to see if it's there? They don't usually record it I wouldn't imagine

GreenGoblin0 · 29/04/2017 13:12

it was never recorded anywhere in my notes

Cagliostro · 29/04/2017 13:18

I've just had a thought. Our ultrasound dept now has a TV screen on the wall so you can see the whole scan without having to twist round to see the computer, as we did with DCs 1&2 years ago.

Does that mean I won't really be able to avoid seeing any evidence of the sex this time?! Unless I shut my eyes Confused we found out the sex with both DCs but agreed this time we would wait for a surprise since the pregnancy was a surprise in the first place - but maybe if we are seeing the whole scan it will be obvious anyway

Cagliostro · 29/04/2017 13:18

Congratulations anyway :o 💐

ThisIsActuallyHappening · 29/04/2017 13:59

Read your maternity notes and see perhaps? The half knowing (if that makes sense) would now annoy me much more!

I've had 3 scans now post 16 weeks when gender was identifiable and having just checked, it is no where in my notes at all though if it helps and we did ask to know so it's not like it's a secret. So unless written in yours, as you weren't at a scan, I'd say she had no way of knowing.

Acorncat · 29/04/2017 14:37

It's not recorded in my notes, apart from where the midwife has specifically asked me and then written it down so she'd remember for next time. Before that she'd say something similar like it's a boy isn't it, but I think she was just trying to show that she remembered me from last visit (and I'm having a girl so she didn't!). I would imagine your midwife is just getting you confused with someone else, so many people don't find out the sex that that it'd be risky to mention it as standard I think.

Spam88 · 29/04/2017 16:39

There's no reason it would be recorded. They don't even look to determine the sex if you don't want to know.

kel1493 · 29/04/2017 16:46

Spam, do they not?
I've always wondered that?
So many people asked me if I found it weird or strange that strangers (sonographer or midwives) knew the sex of my baby when we didn't.
I didn't even think about if they actually did know or not.

Dementedswan · 29/04/2017 17:53

I found out the sexy of my babies and there was nothing on my notes handheld or computer to say whether it was a boy or girl. They were just referred to as baby. So no mention of his or her at all. In fact every professional I met throughout my pregnancy just referred to baby. Ie baby is doing well, baby is lying this way. Not heard or she.

Dementedswan · 29/04/2017 17:53

He not heard . Damn phone.

Dementedswan · 29/04/2017 17:54

Sex not sexy Blush Now that's a bad auto correct

NameChangeWimp · 29/04/2017 18:15

My midwife always refers to my baby as 'he' even though I've mentioned a couple of times I'm having a girl. I had a different midwife this week and she asked if I was having a boy or a girl. The way your midwife worded it does sound like she has read it but you would think they would ask if you knew first considering they will have a mixture of women who know and who don't know.

Mummyme87 · 29/04/2017 21:10

Midwives do not know the sex of your baby. It is not on scan reports either. Genitalia are rarely looked at in depth on scan unless you want to find out

Original poster
Littlejayx · 29/04/2017 21:24

Thank you all for your replies! Maybe she just looked at my rubber ring type bump and thought girl! All will be revealed in July I suppose Halo

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jellyandsoup · 29/04/2017 21:29

I thinknits pretty unlikely, even once the baby's born the midwives are not really interested in if it's a bit of a girl (from a clinical perspective) can't think why they would record it antenatally.

HawkeyeInConfusion · 29/04/2017 22:51

It didn't say anything about the sex of my baby in my notes. And I know it didn't say in my hospital notes either - a consultant explicitly said he didn't know what I was having so not to read anything into his use of he/she when referring to the baby. There is no way my community midwife could have known.

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