Husband wants to know the sex, but I don't. Will it work?

9 replies

Oddsocksforeveryone · 18/04/2017 10:15

I'm only 12 weeks tomorrow so won't be finding out for a while anyway but I think I would like to be surprised on the day as to whether we have a boy or girl.
My husband is adamant he wants to know. He says he doesn't care what we get but he just wants to know.
I don't think he will be able to keep it to himself, either accidentally letting on or being pressured by family.
Has anyone successfully had their husband know but not tell anyone?

OP posts:

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 18/04/2017 10:17

If he lets slip the rest of your pregnancy will be with you in a mood and him either smug /grovelling. .
Not a good plan imo. .

wen4567 · 18/04/2017 11:11

My DH didn't want to find out the sex of our baby and I did. We got to 36 weeks without him knowing, but I had a baby shower and stupidly left the presents lying around which my DH found.
Tip for your DH if he does find out, don't let him tell everyone!! It was pure luck really that my DH didn't find out earlier.

kathrynelizabeth3005 · 18/04/2017 12:20

No personal experience with this as DH and I both wanted to find out, but my friend and her partner were of different viewpoints. She found out, and a lot of friends & family then knew they were having a little girl but everyone managed to keep it from him because he was so adamant.

It was hard (it's a big secret to carry) but it can be done!

fairgame84 · 18/04/2017 12:23

Yes worked for me and DP. I didn't want to know but he did. He stayed in the room after the scan to find out. He kept it a secret and didn't drop any hints whatsoever.

Popskipiekin · 18/04/2017 12:27

If you think he won't be able to keep it to himself, and you really don't want to know, then I don't see this ending well... why exactly does he want to know? Is he a big planner? Does he think it will help with choosing a name? I really think if either of you doesn't want to find out then that's that, you can't. I did try not to let on to friends and family that we were having a boy but couldn't stop myself using the right pronoun (even though I would keep correcting to "he...or she!") so they suspected long before we told them.

blue2014 · 18/04/2017 12:27

Yes but they have to tell no one else either

KnockMeDown · 18/04/2017 12:33

Part of the pleasure of knowing is that you can share the knowledge with your partner as you plan and prepare. Knowing and not being able to tell anyone would be no fun at all. Likewise, sharing the anticipation of not knowing is so much better. I realise that's no help whatsoever

Original poster

Oddsocksforeveryone · 18/04/2017 13:19

Thanks every one. I don't know why he wants to know, all he says is he doesn't know why he just does.
This is dc4, ds1&2 are mine from previous relationship and we had dd last summer.
Oh actually I've just thought, his grandparents are quite poorly, I wonder if he's wanting to tell them in case they don't make it to October.
It's my birthday a week before current edd (and we will probably have a section so this could literally be a birthday baby) that and it probably being our last makes me want a surprise more I think.
We found out with dd, but I didn't actually believe them until close to the end. I was buying boys clothes and chose a neutral gray/turquoise/white/silver nursery theme lol

OP posts:

Brugmansia · 18/04/2017 13:23

With DC1 I didn't want to know but DP did. We got the sonographer to write it on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope so we could decide what to do later.

Later that day I agreed that we would find out but on the strict condition that we kept it to ourselves which we managed. I decided to agree as it seemed really important to him as a way of feeling more connected to the pregnancy, whereas I obviously felt that way anyway.

I am now 8 weeks with DC2. We haven't decided what we are going to do this time and am planning on being firm that neither of us will find out as we went with his preference last time.

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