Struggling with tiredness at work at guilt for sick days, 22 weeks pregnant.

[kateliz26]

Hello, just waned some advice or just general feedback from anyone else who's been in the same boat. I manage a busy restaurant and have struggled on and off with tiredness and feeling physically exhausted throughout the pregnancy but have generally been 'getting on with it'. I've found that working consecutive late shifts (ranging from finishing 9pm to 11.30pm) is really adding to this. I hate causing fuss and I find that my workplace is mostly not sympathetic to feeling 'tired', I don't have the option of slowing down or taking a rest break most of the time and have had to manage both the kitchen and front of house at times. I'm physically and mentally exhausted and to be completely honest, not enjoying this pregnancy. I finally called in and told them that I would be missing three shifts and returning on Monday, my midwife has advised plenty of rest. The reply I got was accepting but really rude, obviously that I'm an inconvenience. I'm struggling as to where to go from here? My senior manager completed a RA at 12 weeks but not reviewed it since. I'm 27 and the first of my friends to have a baby, so I don't really have any real solid advice?
Thanks

No relevant experience I'm afraid but didn't want to read and run.

It might be worth thinking about which hours/tasks that you feel you can manage over coming weeks until Mat Leave, and discuss reasonable adjustments with your senior manager on the grounds that your midwife thinks you're overdoing it. It's got to be better for you and then agreeing a plan upfront rather than not coming in when you get to breaking point. Is it possible to discuss plans for your maternity cover and maybe get them working along side you for a while so there is less pressure on you and an experienced pair of hands while you're away. It can be helpful to ask for what YOU need but in a way that makes it sound like it works for them.

Firstly I think your Risk Assessment needs reviewing - I haven't yet had one but approaching 20 weeks and then my employer legally has to assess my duties at work and whether any adjustments need to be made. As Blueroses99 says I agree you should try and approach in a diplomatic way, perhaps write down ways you think your employer can make some reasonable adjustments but try and come up with adjustments that work for them too if you can, probably easier said than done. I'm sure your employer would rather have you there having made some adjustments than keep forcing you to breaking point and being without you for several days because they've overworked you.

Not sure how big this restaurant is or whether its part of a large company but if there is such thing as a HR department in your company its always worth talking to them if your manager won't make adjustments for you.

I have been asking to have my RA reviewed but it hasn't happened yet and I have gone to my senior manager previously to let her know that I was struggling with the consecutive late nights and suggested reviewing it together which fell on deaf ears. I feel like they're forcing my hand to the point of consulting a GP. I'm back in today on a late finish and feel really anxious about going in. She's not the most approachable woman in the world by her own admission. It's a large chain and to be honest I don't have much confidence in the HR dept, there's a long history in the company itself of viewing this sort of thing as a weakness and a detriment.

I'd see your GP for a letter to explain that you need to not do consecutive nights, and remember you aren't tired from watching TV too late, the process of growing another person is exhausting. Pregnancy is legally protected so they have to make reasonable adjustments for you.

Thank you, I'm going to be a bit brave and challenge her to review my RA first today, if nothing happens again then I think the GP is the only option. I don't mind working the late shift, I understand that it's a big ask to switch to days only. I just want the shifts to either be spaced out sufficiently or failing that reduced to one or two a week. I feel like there's a badge of honour for pregnant women who 'just get on with it' and that continue on as normal but the reality is that my body doesn't feel the same and I'm absolutely pooped

Listen to your body and put yourself first. Good luck xx