Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

First year at University and Just found out I'm pregnant, help!

21 replies

user1489579566 · 15/03/2017 12:10

Hey, I'm currently at university in my first year and just found out I'm pregnant, Im really scared and unsure and was just looking for some advice and maybe some stories of people who have been in similar situations, how their parents reacted? if they took a year out or carried on? how they coped with University life during and after? anything really.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Onlyaplasticbagdear · 15/03/2017 12:14

I got pregnant in my first year of uni aged 19 and had a termination at 6 weeks. It was the absolute best decision for me, my relationship didn't last and having just had a baby now (aged 27), I'm so glad I did what I did. It's so difficult even when you are financially secure and in a committed long term relationship with a supportive partner.

That's my story. If you want to keep the baby that's obviously up to you and I'm sure you would be fine :)

ItsThatBeverleyMacca · 15/03/2017 12:19

I was older (28) and doing an MA when I got pregnant the first time so can't comment on parents' reaction etc, but the University themselves were fantastic, really supportive - I only had my final dissertation to hand in as I completed most of the course while I was pregnant but I was put under no pressure by my tutors and just let them know by email how I was doing and where I was up to with my work.

Have you a student wellbeing service? They would be well placed to offer advice. I naively thought I'd be ok to crack on with my dissertation with a newborn but it didn't work out like that, I had severe pre-eclampsia and a rough labour and I really needed a few months to deal with a new baby before I got back on with my dissertation.

Good luck with what you decide!

preciouspig · 15/03/2017 12:25

I am in my final year of uni my little boy is 9 months old. He was 3 months when i started back in September.

Honestly, I haven't found it difficult. My grades have been the best they have ever been and I have found I am in a better routine for it and a lot more focused.

I have a very supportive boyfriend and family.

How are you feeling about the pregnancy op?

AuntieOBEM · 15/03/2017 12:29

I fell pregnant in my second year at uni - found out the day before an exam.... I had a termination, timing was all wrong, I wouldn't have been able to support a child etc etc. This was over 20 years ago, still with same partner and we have 2 dc now.

onthettcbus · 15/03/2017 12:29

How old are you?

TillyTeapot · 15/03/2017 12:34

I got pregnant during my third year of a four year course. My mum was horrified and wanted me to have a termination. I had the baby and took a year out. I also dumped my useless partner! My son is now 20, I have a good career and eventually married a lovely man who I have a little girl with. It wasn't easy but it is possible...you need to do what is right for you.

Original poster

user1489579566 · 15/03/2017 12:38

Thank you guys for your messages I really appreciate it :)
I have always said I don't think I couldgo through with an abortion and hearing the stories that those who did decide to keep your babies and are still managing to keep up with uni work is encouraging.

I'm feeling very nervous, Im scared of my mums reaction, she was a young mum herself at 17 (I'm 20) so she will either be understanding or very angry I have followed a similar path...
My boyfriend I know will support me in every way he can no matter what I decide, however we live on opposite sides of the country whilst I study at uni and so Im worried how everything would fit together, if I'd have to find a uni closer to home which might accept me or Idk...
I'm also nervous about how it will effect my body as I'm already self concious as it is and I've heard nothing but horror stories from people which scares me haha

My heads just going crazy right now :P

OP posts:

HairsprayBabe · 15/03/2017 12:39

I was 6 weeks into my first term at uni when I found out I was pregnant, I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks, it was awful at the time but in the long run I am glad it ended that way.

I didn't get round to telling my parents.

and good luck for whatever you decide.

silkpyjamasallday · 15/03/2017 12:41

Hello, I have a 6 month dd and I am 22, found out I was pregnant with her when I was meant to be returning to university after having to drop out due to not having somewhere to live in the city (stealing and abuse by housemates meant I had to leave) I am returning in September once I have finished breastfeeding and having looked at the finances I will be much better off than I was before. When they took my parents income into account my loan didn't even cover half of my accommodation costs, let alone food and transport; but with being a student parent their income is no longer taken into account and my loan will actually cover everything I need. They also give grants to student parents for childcare and another for day to day costscaller a learning allowance if I remember correctly. My course is very little contact time though, less than 8 hours a week concentrated into two days so it will be easy for me to care for dd and finish my degree. It doesn't have to be a disaster as people seem to make out, I am so happy that I have done it this way now, I don't plan on having any more children so will never have to take an extended break from a career due to pregnancy etc. And get to have more time with dd during the early years which is so so precious. However I will say that I am pro-life when it comes to myself, I could never have an abortion - I am obviously pro choice for others, it just depends on your outlook I suppose. There is a lot of support out there, your university will also be able to advise. Hope that helps!

Lolimax · 15/03/2017 12:48

I have a 20 yr old DD in 2nd yr in uni doing nursing which is full on. One of her friends was pregnant last year and has deferred so will come back to the 2nd year a 12 month later.
If my DD got pregnant now I wouldn't be angry. I'd just want her to make the best decision for her. Could you talk to student services? They were fab to my DD last year and really helped her out.

silkpyjamasallday · 15/03/2017 13:01

Oh and I forgot to mention, I thought my parents would go through the roof and see the pregnancy as the worst thing that could possibly happen after everything else I'd been through, but they quickly came around and absolutely adore their dgd and are always clamouring to have her and have told me they are proud that I am doing so well with motherhood. I waited until after my 12 week scan to tell them just in case anything was wrong, it was a bit strained for a few weeks but my relationship with both my parents has never been better

ItsReginaPhalange · 15/03/2017 13:07

A friend of mine was in a similar position, she was 18. She kept the baby and was such an inspiration to me. Now I have my own, I can see how much she had on her plate. But for her it was the absolute right decision, she even got a first in her degree. Now she is married to a different guy and has another little boy. I think you just manage as you have to. You will always find a way, if that is what you want to choose.

Longlead · 15/03/2017 13:26

I got pregnant in my first year of uni. My parents didn't find out until after the baby was born and although they were disappointed, they adored my DS and were incredibly supportive. I split from his dad before he was born so I have always been a single mum. I took a year out and went on to graduate with a first. I have gone back to do a MSc this year, so it hasn't held me back at all. Financially it's been fine, I got more support in benefits than my fellow students and I was able to get a council house near my university as they have a low demand in that area.
Have a chat to student services at your uni, they'll be able to let you know your options and what kind of support you could get. Personally I couldn't have had an abortion, but plenty of students do, especially first year's.

Original poster

user1489579566 · 15/03/2017 16:39

Thank you all so much guys, I'm going to tell my boyfriend tonight, go to the doctors and talk about my options and then talk with student services at uni about my options at the University I am at before I make a final decision on everything. I want to make sure whatever I choose (which is very likely to keep the baby) is the right choice for everyone involved.

I really appreciate all your comments, I'm sure youre all amazing mums:)

OP posts:

blueskyinmarch · 15/03/2017 16:43

I am sure your mum will be fine. I know if it was my DD i would absolutely support her in whatever she wanted to do.

I actually had a dream recently that my 19yo DD, who is also in 1st year at uni, was pregnant. I was a little sad when i woke up and realised it wasn’t true.

tinytoucan · 15/03/2017 16:52

Happened to a friend of mine in her first term at uni (I didn't know her that well at the time though, we became friendlier later on). She now has a lovely 7 year old and 4 year old. From what I remember the uni were very supportive- the dad was also a student and they moved into family accommodation. Her parents were fine too- understandably shocked at first but very supportive. I hope yours are too, whatever you decide.

Hotpinkangel19 · 15/03/2017 17:10

I was at the end of my first year.... I had a tricky pregnancy and had to leave, I was doing nursing. I was 21. Mum and dad were okay it disappointed. Baby is 11 now and I never went back to uni, I regret leaving but never regret my baby. X

User543216789 · 13/11/2018 07:17

I literally just found out I’m pregnant just before my 20th birthday I took a gap year after sixth form and in September 2018 I started a law degree. I’m disappointed because I wanted to go ahead and go to law school etc however my manager at my part time job was in a similar situation at 18 and now she’s 29 and completed her masters in law! She has given me so much encouragement! However, I keep thinking about university, money, the fact Ive literally just turned 20! I know in the UK we are quite privileged but I’m really scared and I don’t want to go through with having an abortion because I’m genuinely scared about that too! And even discussing that with my boyfriend makes me get upset! He is very supportive of what I want to do but I really want to consider him too, I don’t want him to tell me it’s up to me but deep down he doesn’t want to keep it! We’ve spoken to his mum who had him at 19! And she offered her support but also reminded us we have our whole life ahead of us! Help 😩😩😩

user1471426142 · 13/11/2018 07:56

It is a different situation as I was older, had a career etc but I was pregnant when I was completing a masters. In terms of university logistics make sure you get to student services and find someone competent to talk to that can guide you through finances, impact on exams, transfer and deferral options etc. All mine did was send me guidance on termination options. I was shocked at how appalling my university (a top one that should have done better!) was and I made a complaint on the grounds that if they were crap with me when I knew my rights etc what on earth would they have been like with a more vulnerable young adult.

I’d have thought given dates you’ll manage to complete this year. They should give you extra time for exams for comfort breaks and they should compete health and safer asssssments if you are in labs etc. I only just made my final exams (by one day!) but I found the uni to be utterly incompetent at making plans for what would happen if I went into labour and couldn’t complete them. I remember having one conversation where some idiot said it wouldn’t be a valid reason for not turning up as I wouldn’t be unexpectedly sick and should make every effort to attend anyway. I quite enjoyed asking them how they thought that advice would comply with the equality act and whether they thought it was responsible advice to go to an exam instead of hospital. This is why I say find someone competent and senior in student services. Lots are staffed by students who won’t be best places to talk about the implications of your pregnancy. If your uni is rubbish, look at guidance online from other institutions and forward their policies on to your university.

Whatever you decide best of luck but please make sure you get the best possible support you can from university. Some are great and I really hope you have a good one.

User543216789 · 13/11/2018 13:19

Thanks for your response

Anonymous0404 · 05/04/2022 08:22

Hey guys I am currently doing my first year in uni , currently living with my step mother and a my dad. I am not really used to them as yet as I had just moved in with them this year. I think I am pregnant and I don't know what to do about it . My father is one of those overprotective dads, and step mother and I are not that close. My boyfriend however is very supportive and really wants the child but he is currently unemployed. I am a bit skeptical about this whole thing because I don't mind having the baby but I am worried about finances and scared that the pregnancy will be difficult as I currently don't live with my biological mother and how the whole family will react. I'm also scared to disappoint my parents

Flip