Baby Showers?

[sweetchilli77]

What are peoples views on a baby shower?

Who is having one?

Did you organise it yourself or did a family member or friend?

I ask this because my friend has just asked am i having one, when i said "not that i know of" she replied "its just everyone seems to have them these days"
which is probably true in our circle of friends.

Before getting pregnant i didn't really like the thought of a baby shower. I found them to be a bit cheeky, and that the guests are expected to turn up with a gift....i also wasn't keen as i was dealing with infertility and found people feeling sorry for me......anyway

Im now pregnant after a successful adoption so didn't really get to do the whole "shower"thing.

I feel if i arrange my own its cheeky but i don't want to come across as "woe is me" by expecting a family member to do it or friend.....

Jesus what the hell am i posting....bloody baby brain and hormones

Horrible, grabby idea. The love, support (and maybe gift if people want to) can come after.

Never heard of any games at baby showers (except through mumsnet).

I think showers are like weddings. Some weddings are a bit tacky and lots aren't. I guess some baby showers are too. I think it comes down to who arranges it. If a mum to be is a bit grabby and attention-seeking (and if that's what you think of her - thinking of the "me, me, me" comment above - then her baby shower will probably be not great). I wouldn't go, if that's what I thought that about a 'friend'. Ditto brides / grooms and weddings.

I wouldn't call all weddings one thing or the other and I don't think baby showers are either. Totally depends on who the mum is and your relationship with them imho.

I had one thrown for me by my lovely friends. I'd had a really tough pregnancy with DC3 and it was lovely to be remind about the excitement that goes with a new baby. It was really low key food an socialising and some gifts ( which I wasn't expecting at all)

Was lovely to see how much me and my baby were loved (still are) and that I had a supportive group of other mums who wanted to celebrate with me.
Wouldn't have organised my own and didn't ask friends to throw one, they asked DH if I'd like one and he said yes as long as it wasn't a surprise- I'm not good with surprises.

if you are just inviting close enough friends that would normally buy a present when the baby comes then fine however if everyone you have ever met gets an invite then they seem grabby to me - i was once invited to a women in work i vaguely knews baby shower, i declined to go

Well i seemed to have sparked a few responses here hahaha.

Guess what?????? I AM HAVING A BABY SHOWER!!!!

The friend who originally asked me in my OP had a chat with me. I explained i didn't want to sit in front of everyone opening gifts as i felt it was a bit grabby etc and i didn't really want it to be about that. I also explained (not that i needed too as she understood) that i have had and still so soooo much going on that i just didn't have the energy to organise my own shower even if i wanted.

Me and my husband decided to adopt after 6 years plus of infertility. The process was very quick in us being matched and we was very lucky to have been matched with a baby. I very quickly by miracle fell pregnant with in a month after baby arriving. Its been a very emotional sometimes stressful rollercoaster however something i will be eternally grateful for.

The point my friend made was and she is right, I have never had the chance to celebrate the 1st baby never mind the one on the way.

So i have agreed.
She is going to arrange it to something of my taste. Its going to be something more of a get together /catch up with my close friends and family, not a commercial type shower where i cringe and have to open gifts in front of everyone.

So there you go!!

Each to their own though. I totally get why people arnt keen. I myself are one but i think if you have some inout to how it goes then i think they can be nice.
I will update after the shower to tell my verdict though hahaha

Happy Sunday Ladies ;)

Good. Do you are having one

I loved mine and as I said all my friends so happy to celebrate as taken a very long time and many private ivf failures

Baby is due in 2/3w and I had baby shower last weekend

Good for you OP!

The only two baby showers I have ever been to have been my own and a very good friend's (godmother to me DD). Both were how yours sounds; lovely afternoons hanging out with our best friends who all genuinely care about us. There was nothing commercial / tacky / grabby about either of them.

There was no pinning the sperm on the womb (ick) or anything of the sort. None of our hen parties had willy straws or blow up dolls either !!!

*my DD

fuck off autocorrect

Rockaby Oh God "pinning sperm on the womb"....id probably enjoy that but god not in front on DM or MIL. Not because there prudes but because they'd be up for it and I'm be cringing hahahaOn my hen do someone brought a massive blow up willy, which i have DM posing in a picture with......

sweet that made me laugh! My late mum was a bit like that too! So funny, but yes, cringe .

Hello! I think it is completely down to the individual. If you would like to have a baby shower then why not? It's a lovely thing to do for you and your baby before he/she arrives - you get to spend time with loved ones all in the same room, have some nice food, discuss your baby's future and receive some lovely pressies!

Really don't get all these 'grabby' comments, I'm having one in May, and I certainly don't expect flamboyant gifts. I'm very grateful of anything friends/family give and personally feel it's no different to going to a wedding with a gift!

Have been to a couple and thoroughly enjoyed myself - not to mention how lovely it was for the mothers to be who were made to feel loved by all on their special day.

So so happy sweetchilli that you are having one! Please do let us know how it goes!

I don't like babyshowers myself. And of course there is an expectation to buy a gift or it wouldn't be called a shower (to 'shower' with gifts). I also disliked the twee games like guess the flavour of baby food jars.

A pre-baby get together to celebrate is lovely though. I went out for dinner with a group of friends while I still could. My SIL had a posh afternoon tea and we bought token fun presents of a low value.

Each to their own. Give it a few years and it will become the normal thing to do I expect.

Least your friends are organising it - like mine did

Tacky is organising your own like AMY from TOWIE

Tbh it sounds like the only (2) showers I've been to haven't been showers at all! There were no games at all and presents were all low value items for the mums or token things for the babies. It was just food and drinks at our flats. I think what people call a 'pre-baby get together' is just how my group of friends does baby showers. Probably need to stop calling them baby showers .

I don't like them. Id prefer to wait until baby has arrived safely.
My sister in law had one and it was a lovely day for her but I couldn't think of anything I'd dislike more than being centre of attention like that!
Also, I think it creates an issue with buying a gift for the shower and then being obliged to buy another when the baby arrives.

It seems that anything that might involve buying a present or spending any money to celebrate something exciting in someone else's life is considering grabby by half of Mumsnet Weddings, hen dos, baby showers etc all get criticised as if most prior only get married or pregnant for the gifts! I'm surprised birthdays and Christmas are permissible (or so people only get born for the birthday presents?). Seriously, weddings and babies are far less frequent events in a person's life than birthdays which come every year. Why is it bad to celebrate them? It's customary throughout the world to give gifts to celebrate events. If you don't want to give a gift or attend, then that's fine. Don't. But I think it's a bit sad/cynical to be so negative about others wanting to celebrate a happy event.

And why are baby showers grabby but giving gifts once the baby hasn't arrived isn't grabby? Generally, when I've attended a baby shower, I have only sent a card when the baby arrived. I think most mum's to be don't expect double presents.

Now don't get me wrong, there will always be that bridezilla or self absorbed m2b who ships out a crazy expensive gift registry and dictates their guests behaviour, but the fault is with the person, not the event itself.

I've never thought that any of my good friends were holding a celebration simply for the gifts, and I'd be so sad if anyone thought that about me. I just find it a bit depressing that there's such a pessimistic view about happy events.

I've been to some lovely baby showers, which are primarily a good excuse to have a get together with girl friends and eat lots of cake. I'm not a fan of silly games and really not keen on the gender reveal parties - but if it makes the parents happy, where's the harm? It's not going to kill me to sit through it. Either give up a few hours of your time and be happy for them, or don't go.

I'm ranting a bit, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones! But these threads always make me feel so sad with all the negative attitudes.

I don't like fuss or being the centre of attention. I don't generally hold birthday parties etc. However I know a group of my close friends will likely want to organise an afternoon tea or similar baby shower, and I'm happy to let them do that, as I'd love to spend an afternoon with them being happy about my baby. I will be clear that I don't want any presents, mainly because I would prefer any gifts people want to give arrive after the baby is safely born. But that's just personal preference.

Lighten up people and be happy for your friends/family

Agree with you lemon. I'd be gutted if my friends called me grabby for allowing them to arrange a baby shower for me. Especially the sort of shower I had and the one I attended as a guest which were super low key. But my friends just wouldn't call me grabby for that. I can't imagine us talking about each other like that at all, or we probably wouldn't be able to be friends!

I think the negative comments tend to happen when people you hardly know invite you and demand expensive gifts. I've never experienced that, but I think it probably does happen sometimes. I wouldn't want go to something like that either.

Just another commercialisation of events. Bad taste IMO and I've refused to go to both that I've been invited to.

I also think it's bad luck to give presents before a baby is actually born - but maybe that is just me.

After chatting with my friends we're going for afternoon tea but I've insisted no gifts. I know that they'll all buy something when the baby is born, so I think it's unnecessary to expect something before he is born, especially as they might feel obligated to buy something else once he's born.

I think it's a lovely excuse for a get together, and I just really want their company rather than to be bought anything.

Afternoon tea sounds very nice /civilised. Much classier.

My baby shower was afternoon tea in my flat. Do I get 'classy' points too or am I suddenly common as muck for daring to let it be called a baby shower?

I think some people are tarring every baby shower with the same brush tbh, but I've said my piece up thread

I'm not having one, as I don't like being the centre of attention and would also find the organisation of it stressful but each to their own. If you want one have one, if not don't bother! Who cares what anyone else says x

Had my baby shower yesterday that work organised and actually despite my reservations it was lovely. There was tea, sandwiches, cake and a few games that didn't involve me being the centre of attention. Then they gave me some gifts and I can't believe how spoiled we were I feel so lucky, I really wasn't expecting it.

I had a lovely time and it was so sweet to see how invested they all are in the baby.