Pregnant and scared

[Sea83]

Hi I'm 33 and just found out I'm pregnant and I'm terrified, I can't stop crying. I'm married and it was planned but happened so quickly, I'm worried I'm going to change and stop doing the things I enjoy. I know I should be happy but now I just feel guilty about the negative feelings. I don't know how to cope. Has anyone else get like this?

Hiya, I'm 18 weeks pregnant with number 2 and I feel like this, I also feel guilty! I think no matter how planned your baby is the reality of becoming mummy is so scary.. for some reason i didn't feel this with my first but defo feeling it now. Speak to people.. friends .. family .. partner. One thing I've noticed is the feelings do come and go very quickly.. you will still do everything you want to do! I'm feeling awful this morning! I found out last night I'm having a little girl and I actually was annoyed and unhappy that's so bad but now I'm over the moon full of joy and excitement... call it hormones 😉 massive congratulations xx

Hormones!

We're martyrs to them!

I felt just like this with my first. It was all planned, happily married, plenty of money etc., but we got pregnant the first month we tried, and the shock of suddenly realising my life would be changing forever made me feel just how you do. I was so scared! I felt like it all the way through the pregnancy - a felling of dread and impending doom all the way through. However, the instant I saw her after I gave birth, I was so glad I got pregnant so quickly and didn't have chance to change my mind. She's 12 now, turning into a wonderful young woman, and I count my blessings every day that I chose to have her. I had no PND or anything, it was all just fine once I'd given birth (although the usual sleep-deprived and hard work!).

for you

There's no 'should' with pregnancy emotions - you're facing arguably one of the biggest changes a person goes through in life and suddenly your hormones go up the spout leaving you feeling confused and vulnerable.

Give yourself some time and talk to your DH about how you really feel. Your life will change - and in ways you can't imagine right now. Some changes will be unexpectedly great and some will be predictably hard. Yes, you may well find that in the earliest days after your DCs arrival you feel lost, I certainly did, but it doesn't last forever.

Have a go at listing your biggest concerns - talk to your midwife at booking in, they may be able to reassure you on some issues and give you a better idea of what happens next. I found the 'What to expect' book/website very helpful and set aside half an hour each week to reading up what was happening inside my womb - it helped me keep things in proportion.

I'm expecting DC2 now and still feel quite overwhelmed if I'm honest. I'm 19 weeks and we've only told parents and siblings because I'm worried about the risks this time around. There's a rhyme that goes 'three months weary, three months cheery, three months dreary' - it sort of sums it up for me!

Congratulations on your pregnancy I hope things improve for you soon

I am 34 weeks with our first & I felt exactly like this when I first saw the positive test, & like you I was happily married & the baby was planned. It felt like a mistake.

But after a few weeks I didn't feel like that anymore, I think it just takes time to get used to! At first I could only think of the negative things, but then I became attached to the baby that was in there.

I cried for weeks when I found out o was pregnant with dd and for even longer with ds! It's a huge life change there's no getting away from it but you will be okay! You'll get used to the change, once your baby is a bit bigger you can pick up hobbies and interests again and you will meet a whole lot of new people by having a little person. Don't worry about the feelings - they are normal.

Thank you all for replying, it has made me feel a bit better just admitting how I feel. reading your responses I realise that I just need to take a step back to take everything in. Some really good advice about talking to folk nearby too even at this early stage.