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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant and can't drive

15 replies

likeacrow · 08/02/2017 12:42

This may not be the most appropriate board to post this on... apologies if so.
First child and I'm worrying about the fact I can't drive and how it'll impact on those first few months. Both in practical terms and in terms of mental health I suppose.
I just wondered how anyone else in same position has coped? I've failed my test 3 times now and, as I'm due in 3 weeks and will soon be receiving maternity allowance only (not pay), time & money have pretty much run out for now. (I will try again once I'm back working.)
I don't live in the middle of nowhere but it's a good 12 min walk down a steep hill then across a busy main road with no pedestrian crossing to the train station, about the same distance uphill to be nearest bus stop (no shelter) and about 20 min walk into "town" (bit of a crap town).
My DH drives and has the first 4 weeks off after baby arrives but after that I'm worried I'll feel either stranded or super stressed trying to navigate public transport or get anywhere easily. I don't have any relatives nearby who drive.
I'm basically looking for reassurance/advice from other non-driving parents in similar situations... Hoping it's not as bad as I'm anticipating!

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Latetotheparty26 · 08/02/2017 12:49

Try not to let it stress you. Think of the exercise you'll get from walking! Spring/summer is coming so it will make it easier. Maybe put it out of your mind until your DC is a few months older or practice your theory test online when they're napping if you don't want to forget about it?
Just take your time with it and enjoy your amazing new bundle!

McBaby · 08/02/2017 12:51

Small babies are quite portable. Walking is good for you and fresh air is good for the baby. Asking might also be useful I found it much easier to negotiate public transport rather than with a big buggy.

thewideeyedpea · 08/02/2017 12:52

Hi, honestly it's not as bad as you are thinking. I had all 3dc without being able to drive and I just walked a lot and used public transport as a last resort. It's a good 35 minutes walk to town for me and I used to really enjoy getting out in the fresh air. Admittedly not so fun in the rain but you manage! Passed my test a year ago and it's certainly made things easier but I still walk a lot. Congrats on your baby and good luck.

JJ1612 · 08/02/2017 12:54

I don't drive and am currently expecting baby no 2. I've managed really well and actually quite like walking out with the pushchair (should the weather allow)! I do live in a big city with horrendous traffic congestion so even if I could drive I probably wouldn't

shebagthehag · 08/02/2017 12:54

I didn't pass until I was heavily pregnant with my 2nd.

I quite miss my little trips to town and that was a 40 minute walk or a 20 minute bus ride with my 1st, certainly got me out of the house lots. Now I drive I've become lazy and don't go out half as much!

Original poster

likeacrow · 08/02/2017 13:21

Thanks all who've replied so far.
Latetotheparty26 I passed my theory test first time a while ago. It's reversing round a chuffing corner I can't crack!

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Original poster

likeacrow · 08/02/2017 13:21

Thanks all who've replied so far.
Latetotheparty26 I passed my theory test first time a while ago. It's reversing round a chuffing corner I can't crack!

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Cineraria · 08/02/2017 14:00

I'm a non driver and had a lovely time pushing DS around in his pram when I was on maternity leave (DM gave me a huge old bouncy Silver Cross one and I loved walking along with it). Having a really big shopping tray on your pram is really useful if you don't have a car to load shopping in.

We have town about twenty minutes walk one way, doctors and health visitor's centre twenty minutes the other way and several parks, trains and buses about ten minutes walk away, which is lovely in good weather but trickier in the rain. I got a clear plastic poncho (I think it was sold as a festival poncho on eBay) to wear and kept it with the rain cover for the pram so I could hold the pram handles under it and none of me got wet.

I also had a woven wrap baby carrier, which was fantastic if he was whingey or unsettled when we were out and about and also for public transport. He commutes with me now to my work as we have an on site nursery and we still use it to get to and from the station at each end. He used to fall asleep as soon as I tied it when he was small but now he gets really excited about being high up on my back. Either way, at least he isn't grumbling!

I find my son got quite fidgety on public transport as soon as he could sit up by himself (around four and a half months) and the best way to keep him quiet and calm was to feed him as soon as we got on a train or bus for any length of time

hellomarshmallow · 08/02/2017 14:04

Get a sling so you can get out and about more easily and look for local baby groups. I found it tough with twins, but made myself go out for a walk everyday (any weather) to feel better; it does work!

mumxof3x · 08/02/2017 14:17

I didnt pass my driving test until I was pregnant with my 5th child. And dcs school is not in walking distance. I often wonder now I have a car how I managed back then, but I honestly did it just fine. It was especially easy with one child, it gets a tad harder the more you have, especially with double prams etc. But there is usually no issues getting a normal pram on public transport and it doesn't often take long to walk when it's just you and the pram. I used to enjoy my walks with dc1 :)

Original poster

likeacrow · 08/02/2017 14:32

Thanks everyone, this is making me feel much better.
We have bought a sling as well as a buckle type baby carrier, plus pram of course, so will see which of these works best.

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mistermagpie · 08/02/2017 15:10

I have an 18 month old and don't drive (I have a license but also a driving phobia, so with me it's a 'don't rather than a 'can't) and it's been fine. We walk loads and he loves being outside now, I think because we never used a car. I'm happy walking quite far though so was no issue for me to walk 45 minutes to get to a yoga class or whatever, which some people think is really far. In my experience though, the longer it took to get somewhere the better, sitting at home on mat leave is very boring and at least being out and about I could listen to an audiobook and get some exercise. I never much liked taking DS on the bus in the pram, so if we were doing that I used the sling and a rucksack for our stuff.

DH does have a car though so getting heavy shopping was easy, not sure if this is the case for you? If not, I would do online grocery shopping and get a delivery to save the hassle.

I am now pregnant with DC#2 and am looking into starting driving again. Purely because I think with two young children it might be easier. It will take a lot of practice for me to be confident enough though, so it's still a pipe drem just now.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/02/2017 19:16

My mum was able to drive but mostly didn't have a car (because my dad had it for work) back in the 80s and I think that was pretty standard. If you manage without driving pre-baby I reckon you'll be alright post baby.

JayzuzMaryJoseph · 08/02/2017 19:19

I didn't find not driving stressful at all with my first. I was quite happy bopping around by foot or on buses with my buggy.

It only got tricky once I had two children - was driven 9excuse pun!) to get my licence then.

The worst for not driving I think is once they are at school and want to be ferried to clubs, classes, friends houses etc. You've plenty of time.

NinaMarieP · 08/02/2017 19:24

I'm expecting my first and I'm a non-driver. Never so much as taken a lesson! I'm a half hour walk into town and I live at the top of a hill (an actually hill, not just a slope!) luckily the bus is only about a ten minute walk away if I need it. I'm going to (hopefully) get out and about with the pram or sling during my maternity leave and lose some of the baby weight I am sure I will put on. Due at the end of July so I'm hoping for decent weather for at least the first while.
Are there any libraries or cafes near you? Either would be a fine place to escape to if you need out of the house but don't fancy wandering aimlessly.

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