'the rules'

8 replies

Blueskyrain · 07/02/2017 10:50

From the moment we get the positive on the test, we seem to be bombarded by rules over what we can and can't do. I'm now at 2 1 weeks and starting to get frustrated at the rules for rearing the child.

Obviously there is being sensible, which we should do, but does the endless rules drive everyone else mad?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

KatnissMellark · 07/02/2017 11:00

No, listen to advice but do what suits you.

Within reason, obviously.

Ie don't get smashed every night whilst pregnant or completely disregard safe sleeping guidelines.... BUT baby wear/don't, breastfeed/don't, baby led wean or feed purees, use 123 magic or gentle parenting...Basically as long as it doesn't endanger/damage your child, do what suits you, your partner and your DC.

Sparklyuggs · 07/02/2017 12:02

I go by the NHS guidelines. I've been given a lot of other advice but there's no scientific basis for it. Is there any advice in particular which annoys you?

Expecting Better by Emily Oster is a good read about the rules.

dementedpixie · 07/02/2017 12:06

Which rules are you talking about? A lot are just common sense

fruityb · 07/02/2017 12:14

I've stopped looking and trying to fit a box. If DS needs a nap he has one, if he doesn't I don't stress. If he's hungry I feed him if he's playing I leave him to it. If he's exploring I let him. I've stopped panicking about "oh god he's been awake 75 minutes he should be asleep by now for an hour and then I need to feed him but that means he's had more than yesterday argh!!"

He makes the routine which has worked for all of us. It also means if we need to go out then we can and he works round us too. Worrying about all the timings and the 'rules' as you say just left me crying when it wasn't working. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do - you do what works for you. DS can sleep in his cot in the day but he's equally happy in my arms, and so am I. If cuddling my baby is ever seen as a negative then I don't want to read that guidance!

Noodlehair · 07/02/2017 12:15

I'm not sure I agree there are rules as such, obviously points that we all follow for the good of baby/our health ie. When pregnant avoid alchohol/don't smoke/don't go ice skating etc and then when baby is born don't give honey under 1/careful when co sleeping/don't fall asleep on sofa etc etc but again these are more guidance points rather than rules? He or she is your baby, it's your decision how to raise him or her how you see fit. One thing I've found is that for every 'rule' currently bandied about, you will find a culture that is doing exactly the opposite and babies are all doing fine.

PotteringAlong · 07/02/2017 12:17

There are no rules. There are guidelines. You can choose to ignore them or not as you see fit. You just need to be aware that so e of them (e.g. Safe sleeping) are there for very specific and serious reasons.

PotteringAlong · 07/02/2017 12:17

Obviously there are legal rules - don't put your baby in a car without a car seat, for example.

buckyou · 07/02/2017 12:20

I don't follow everything. I started off like that but going a bit more off piste now! For example, my daughter is 19 months and still has bottles. She also has semi skimmed milk.

I think it's sensible to take on board guidelines and understand why they are there but I don't think you have to follow everything precisely.

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