Worried about work duties this week. Weakness at 7 wk. Ask midwife? Tell boss?

[Jellybabie3]

Hi all. I am now 7 + 1. Symptoms so far include all day nausea but also finding i am extremely weak, more so in morning, to the point that a ten min walk to shop leaves me breathless and standing up for too long leaves me weak and dizzy. Problem is later this week i need to attend a work event that will involve me stood up outside in the same spot for about an hour and a half. Nowhere near a seat, water, toilet etc. This is followed by an indoor event that i need to present at. I am really worried about being able to stand up for so long. My employer doesnt know i am pregnant. Although my company has good maternity care my actually boss is not especially sympathetic (to my colleagues preg before me). I dont know what to do. I am seeing midwife tuesday - the event is thursday. Is it worth bringing up with midwife? My boss wont be happy if i pull out so late 😕 and i didnt want to tell them so early really

Midwife won't be able to do anything re work/ boss

You're going to have to tell boss I think

Tell your boss. Legally once they know they need to make reasonable adjustments (e.g. a chair!) and cannot treat you badly. My boss became more sympathetic to personal issues (generally, not just pregnancy related) after he became a father but I found I was more comfortable talking to HR than my boss directly. Is that an option for you?

I guess so. Not sure how boss will react by going round her though. I am the only one going from my company on thurs, the rest are external people. So if i dont go it drops someone else in my team in it last min. I just really dont want to go

Talk to your boss tomorrow and you have a few days to find a solution together. The more notice your colleagues have, the less resentful they might be? Perhaps one of them could go with you so you're not alone? I would say something along the lines of I really want to go but I'm concerned about x, y, z. Depending on the event/venue, there might be other adjustments so you may not need to drop out entirely. I had terrible back pain in early pregnancy so I couldn't have stood for long. With your symptoms you don't want to be in a position where you might faint or fall.

Ok. I dont really want the rest of the team to know..its still early. I think i will speak with midwife tuesday as its my first meeting with her and see whats said. I guess it wont leave me much time though

Can you take drinks and snacks with you? I used to feel really shitty at work but would perk up when I drank - can't believe it took me so long to figure out that I needed that much extra to drink.

I can yes. Its just the standing up in the cold thats bothering me. Its isolated so not like o can perch/lean on something if i have a wobble. I snack all day at my desk usually

What do you think your midwife is going to be able to do/say?

You have to talk to your boss- your midwife won't say anything except that, and by leaving it until after you've seen midwife, that's less notice for your boss. Midwife cannot do it for you

Ok. I thought midwife asks about job etc so i am obviously wrong (sorry this is baby no.1). This isnt the only time i will need to do this event, theres another in a couple of weeks and essentially could be others at short notice. I guess its just bad timing as i wanted to wait longer before telling boss. Like i said they arent particularly sympathetic. Doesnt help that my colleague did these events preg last year albeit she was doing that 3-5 months. I guess i am finding it hard with first trimester symptoms

If it's your booking in appointment, the midwife will be asking about your medical history and setting out your pregnancy plan, not really work. I can understand why you want to get some official advice before speaking to your boss but given the event is Thursday, you might find it more awkward to leave it til after your appointment

Yeah i kind of wanted confirmation first. I guess its a no win situation

Midwife could maybe offer guidance with chemical exposure or working with lambing sheep etc when the rules apply to everyone, but pain/discomfort/fatigue is all personal. You either suck it up or tell the boss you can't stand etc. Be explicit if you don't want the rest of the team to know you're pregnant.

Ok fair enough. I guess i will have to suck it up. Thanks all