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Original poster

what did u do with your LO when u went into labour with your second?

17 replies

SANA · 26/02/2007 12:30

I am not due till Oct with my 2nd but worried what to do with my DS who is 2 when I am in labour. We have no family for over 100miles & they probably wont b able to help anyway. I dont have many friends ( yes i know thats sad), I work full time & DS goes to nursery during the day & if I go into labour then he can always go for the day but worried about the evening and the weekend? I have DH but he will be with me..........will I end up dragging DS with me to the hospital???

Anyone got any ideas?

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LieselVentouse · 26/02/2007 13:01

Do you have a mother/MIL that could stay with you for a couple of days?

lizziemun · 26/02/2007 13:05

I very lucky my mum has just moved around the cornor from us so dd will either go there or mum will come here depending on time of day.

Do you have a trusted friend who you could call on for help.

Lio · 26/02/2007 13:09

Any chance of a home birth?

Original poster
SANA · 26/02/2007 13:09

my mother works 6 days a week & cant take holiday on short notice. My MIL is very old & wont b able to help. I have a huge family base but they all have committments & wont/cant help at the drop of a hat. With DS i was 2 weeks early and I am really stuck on this one

it doesnt help that DS only wante mummy at night!!!

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midnightexpress · 26/02/2007 14:01

We had similar problem as family all quite a long way away. In the end MIL happened to be visiting at the right time and we were lucky. However, if you don't have friends who could help out, I think that some of the nanny agencies have babysitting registers - might be worth exploring? Don't know how much notice they require and I guess you'd want to get your DS familiar with whoever it was first, but if there's no other option you could consider that. I wonder if anyone knows whether people take LOs to hospital - I think they must do, as there must be quite a few people in this situation.

rubles · 26/02/2007 16:12

Ooh, tricky. Could you ask any of the carers at his nursery if they could mind him (either at their house or yours)? Not an ideal solution but then he would know the person and you might feel more confident about it.
Or could you hire a doula for your constant support and your dh could then take charge of your son - although I don't know how he would feel about that, my dp wouldn't want it.

What about the neighbours?

Original poster
SANA · 26/02/2007 16:53

Thanks for all the messages, i am thinking there must be loads of people with the same problem.

I am thinking about a Doula but DH is not keen. Home birth is a bit scary & as we live in a small place I think DS will wake up anyway

At this rate I am going to campaign for a creche in the maternity ward ( ha ha!!). Think will do another post if anyone has taken their little one along for the birth...........i know they are out there and they can tell me that their little ones didnt have nightmares & it was a wonderful educational experience

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MayhemMum · 26/02/2007 17:22

We were worried we might have a similar problem if my parents couldn't get here in time, but mentioned it to ds's nursery (he was 3) & a member of staff offered to take him overnight. Even if they can't help, they might know someone who can & you've got lots of time to check them out. You definitely won't be the first to ask. I've heard of childminders doing this for people as well.

Another thing - I'm really painfully shy but forced myself to bring this into conversations with neighbours/mums at toddler groups & did have some offers of help. And yes, people do take their older children into hospital with them (no details, but my dad worked for the nhs & said it was surprisingly common).

And if it all goes wrong, get hormonal! No-one will dare say no.

foxtrot · 26/02/2007 17:27

We actually took DS1 to hospital with us, whilst my parents drove 100 miles at 4am to get to us. DH took him home, then came back to the hospital, thus avoiding the worst bits of my labour but being there for the end result (DS2).

midnightexpress · 26/02/2007 18:55

...or you could do what my mum and dad did when I was born (in the 60's, I hasten to add, and had no family nearby)- they left my brother, aged 2.2, in bed, drove my mum to hospital, and then dad left her to get on with it and went home.

I only found this out a few months ago.. My mum's response to my shock was 'well he was asleep, and your dad was only gone for about half an hour'.

WriggleJiggle · 26/02/2007 19:02

I'm sure you could employ a childminder who would be happy to do overnight.

Califrau · 26/02/2007 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

forgottenfreetime · 26/02/2007 19:54

I'm lucky to have both my mum and my dad nearby to help so they will look after ds whilst I am in labour with no2. You say you don't have many friends - but it will only need one! Try asking them now so you can prepare if they are not happy to help out. I would imagine they will be - most people just want the glory of being the first to know/hold your new baby and will put themselves out a bit to guarantee that!

prufrock · 26/02/2007 19:58

midnightexpress - I have a friend who did that just 4 years ago! In London! They are German though - but I'm not sure if that is any excuse. The midwife actualy reported them to SS who visited but were happy that it was a one-off abberation - this woman is my parenting idol in all other ways. She says she knows it was wrong, and can't explain why they did it, but it was the only thing they could think of at the time (Their second was early so the afmily who wre coming to stay hadn't arrived yet)

LupinsBigLump · 27/02/2007 12:45

I didnt have dd last time, but this time I have arranged an elective cs so my mum can look after her (mum is 400 miles away) however with dd i was 5 wks early should that happen and dd is not at preschool then dp will drop me at the hospital then drop her at friends 10 miles away and then come back to the hospital - if it is the middle of the night like dd was then I have arranged with one of the mums at the preschool that I can drop her there as its only round the corner - not ideal but we dont have alot of choice either - no local family and friend 10 miles away is nearest - gawd knows what we will do with the poor dog who suffers with anxiety , good luck hope you get something sorted

majorstress · 27/02/2007 13:14

My mum was still on the plane from the US when dd2 came a week early in a snowstorm. Luckily, sort of, my MIL and FIL were unexpectedly staying with us-because they had come for New Year's a week earlier and he had had a heart attack!!!! He was out of hospital but not allowed to fly home to Dublin yet. So DD1 stayed peacefully at home with Granny and Grandad -her nursery was shut anyway due to the weather. I had already engaged a doula to cover the bases FOR ME anyway, I didn't consult DP. His job was to mind DD1, except when the nursery was open, and it was lucky that he didn't have to.

It's hard but something will work out, if you don't find someone to stay at home with DS, I would think he won't be obliged to stay in the room with you while you labour and give birth, but DP might have to be absent some of the time to look after him. So a doula might not be a bad idea, try that again with your DP or tell him to come up with an alternative plan! He needs to help, not stress you out already!

Original poster
SANA · 27/02/2007 13:33

Thank you for all the messages ( some of which made me laugh). I am going to look into getting a doula so DH can worry about DS.

I know it will work out in the end!!!

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