Push Present?!

[GTS]

Apparently this is a 'thing' now. Did your partners buy you a present for having their child?
On baby number three now and didn't get one for the first two....think I might need to request a triple value push present?!

It isn't to most on the thread but a 'Mulberry bag' or similar after having a baby just feels like that to me personally.
And believe me I love a bag or two.

Well I am a glass half full person so I don't see this as grabby at all?

After the first year of my DDs life my husband bought me an eternity ring as a complete surprise and I was really thrilled. He bought it because he wanted to recognise the tough time I had had during the first year - We had a non sleeper and I spent hours and hours dealing with this whilst he was on night shifts.

After the birth I got home to flowers, beer and a lovely heart felt card saying how proud he was of me!

He is not a soppy type but he respected what I had done and wanted to recognise it?

I don't think it is about money but my ring is very special to me as I know it's from my DH for a nice reason.

X

Never heard the term before but I didn't think it was uncommon to get some kind of gift. My friends have had various things, from flowers and chocolates to jewellery.

I got a 20 week scan present (a silver locket) as this is the furthest we have ever got. I'm due on our wedding anniversary and I know he has already bought me a combined present. Don't know what it is yet though, the only thing he said was it was 'different' as he knows I like unusual things, so that really could be anything.

some posts on here...wow!

It's the term 'push present' that's vile, not the sentiment. It's been going for generations - my grandfather gave my grandmother a diamond necklace following the birth of my mother - this has now been passed to me and is very special.
I don't think it's right to expect anything (and feel like your DH/DP has fallen short by not giving anything), but it's definitely a lovely gesture that commemorates a moment equally/even more special than an engagement/wedding etc, if he wants to.

Bare ....agree

christmas Thank you for pointing out the obvious but this a token gesture from someone who appreciates what you've done. I don't see one thing wrong with that. As I said, if my husband went through a huge amount of pain and discomfort for US then I would really appreciate it. Incidentally, I would rather a well picked, thoughtful card than a present because it shows thoughfulness so I'm not at all greedy nor grabby; however I am hugely sentimental about my belongings so love that it marks the event. And before we go stating the obvious again YES OF COURSE THE THREE YEAR OLD DRIVING ME MAD TONIGHT is a wonderful daily reminder of aforementioned event but he doesn't match my diamantè clutch on a night out, does he?

When I found out I was pg with DC3 (I knew it would be my last baby) I told my DH that I expected a huge diamond after the birth so he best get saving. I was far too polite to ask for anything after DC1 & DC2.

I got my diamond! I did however buy my DH a nice watch, so we both got something. It was a luxury to spend our money on each other for a change.

A 'push' present sounds horrible but nothing wrong in buying presents, if you want to.

We all went through a huge amount of pain and discomfort when giving birth honour children however I find the way you express you expectation of a gift somewhat bizarre.
Diamanté clutch says it all really...!
Shocked at the amount of people who expect a "reward"...
Maybe working in the nhs makes you realise how precious life is and materialistic things are just that. Having a baby in fetal distress in labour and knowing several who lost babies this year, all we wanted was our baby here safe and myself safe.
Hearing my husband express how incredibly proud he was of me and expressing how truly grateful he was to me for carrying our child and ensuring a safe delivery, was far better than any gift he could have bought. Knowing your baby could have quite easily had a different outcome puts your world into perspective. Those words will stay with me for life...unlike a bag that would probably get discarded once it went out of fashion.
Enjoy your clutch....!

So what if some DHs/DPs buy a present and so what if others don't want anything? No one is saying that a clutch bag is more important than a healthy baby and you're being ridiculous to suggest otherwise Christmas

I'd put money on you not throwing your arms up in outrage if he'd bought you a gift as a surprise though Christmas...

Jeez some people are so sanctimonious about other people's gift giving! I wouldn't have been annoyed if I didn't get a present but it was a lovely gesture from my dh and I'm grateful for it. It goes without saying having a healthy baby is the best reward, I don't think people who receive a push present think the present is the main reward for pregnancy and birth!

Why the negativity if someone has received a gift? And why do some people think that receiving a surprise gift means that the partner then doesn't help or the woman and/or baby is then deprived of support, love, money etc?

As said before my gift was a totally surprise. It wasn't planned and I didn't expect anything. Heck it was a spur of the moment thing for dh, even he didn't plan it til he walked past the shop that morning on the way to seeing us both.

He still was there for us. He was a supportive and loving husband and father, still is 14 years on. The gift didn't mean we were lacking in money for the baby - it was well within our means and relatively modest tbh.

It also didn't mean I appreciated the gift more than I appreciated Dd - after several years of TTC, a miscarry, more years of TTC and then a 50 hour failed labour resulting in c section my DC was infinitely more precious to me than any gift could ever have been.

It does however now mean that whenever I wear that bangle it has a link to the day my now teen was born and happy we all felt that day.

So no, nothing stupid or wrong to be given a surprise gift from your partner - at any time - so long as it is not demanded or expected, or beyond your financial means.

I got an eternity ring after DC1 but will suggest that after 10/17/19 years of giving birth I deserve a push present. Or I will buy myself one and present DH with the receipt.