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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Push Present?!

90 replies

GTS · 07/01/2017 16:45

Apparently this is a 'thing' now. Did your partners buy you a present for having their child?
On baby number three now and didn't get one for the first two....think I might need to request a triple value push present?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 07/01/2017 21:57

I got a diamond eternity ring

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 07/01/2017 21:59

It's not like i chose it or demanded it but DH bought me a nice diamond ring with a diamond for each of us and I wasn't going to complain

sillyofthevalley · 07/01/2017 21:59

Mulberry bag each time here!

Blacksox · 07/01/2017 22:02

I loathe the term 'push present', but he did but me very lovely jewellery each time. Of his own volition; we didn't know this was a 'thing'.

RasperryInAMelon · 07/01/2017 22:03

I'm 20weeks with my first. DH expressed that he was going to get me a half eternity ring post birth. Without sounding ungrateful - I've told him I don't want anymore jewellery and I needn't a gift... but it's also my 30th next year, so a Mulberry Bayswater will be winging its way to me in May

Alb1 · 07/01/2017 22:10

I don't think it's that new, my great grandad bought my great grandma a lovely crystal boat vase type thing (I can't describe it sorry) filled with flowers, it's been passed down and I now have it and I've always thought it was a lovely gesture. Wouldn't say it was a 'push present', never heard that term before, I would call it a loving husband making a nice gesture to his wife to mark the most significant event of their lives. DH didn't get me anything and it never occurred to me that he might either, but if someone wants to I can't see a problem with it!

Ackvavit · 07/01/2017 22:10

Goodness, really? Surely you wouldn't clap a pilot when he landed, it's his choice to do that role. Equally, you have decided to have a child together surely " prizes" aren't necessary. It sounds more like a chance to boast on social media. You should pop spare money in something useful for the baby.

Ackvavit · 07/01/2017 22:12

A small nice gesture I understand but actual high value handbags etc seems tacky. Something you can hand down is lovely but I'm sure love and attention are more valuable.

SausageSoda · 07/01/2017 22:14

I don't think it's a choice between a present or love/attention/support. I imagine in most cases that goes without saying and the present is a nice additional extra.

Blacksox · 07/01/2017 22:16

My dh managed to be supportive/attentive and completely look after me and buy me lovely jewellery.

There seems to be an idea from some on here that's it's an either or.

Original poster

GTS · 07/01/2017 22:18

Ackvavit have you never heard a planeful of passengers applaud a pilot for making a safe landing? I have plenty of times!! I don't think they are considered 'prizes', just a token of appreciation and/or affection.

OP posts:

mowglik · 07/01/2017 22:22

I'd never heard of the term push present except on here! It does sound a bit weird but the sentiment is lovely

We bought 2 semiprecious stones on our honeymoon and my DH had the aquamarine made into a lovely ring. Expecting dc2 now and will probably do the same with the other stone.

Snowflakes1122 · 07/01/2017 22:49

Yes I got one every time-a lovely baby!

No stupid gifts needed

Strokethefurrywall · 07/01/2017 22:59

I love how nobody bats an eyelid when people get expensive gifts for their birthday which really isn't that significant given that it happens every year, but buying an expensive gift or jewelry for your wife after she's just turned herself inside out birthing a new person is somehow considered "tacky".

No, the expression "push present" is tacky, the gesture certainly isn't!

As for "you should pop any spare cash away for the baby" - I have plenty of spare cash thanks, and don't need telling or guilting into spending it on us.

Is it really the case that women consider other women grabby and tacky because they dare to desire a "trinket" for giving birth? And that they should just be eternally grateful they have a healthy baby? It's not one or the other fgs.

I'm happy to be considered grabby, shallow and tacky then. I fucking love my diamonds. And funnily enough it doesn't mean I was any less grateful for having my babies.

Weird fucking mindset some people have.

Blacksox · 07/01/2017 23:04

no stupid gifts needed

Why are they 'stupid'? I think it's rather lovely that my husband (twice) went to the jewellery designer that made my engagement and wedding rings and had something I'll treasure forever made for me to mark the birth of our children. I really don't think there's anything stupid about them.

Snowflakes1122 · 08/01/2017 06:45

blacksox

DH has shown me his love and support in pregnancies, during birth and after by helping in any way he can. That's enough for me that we both appreciate each other.

A gift anytime is a nice lovely gesture, but the expectation of a 'Push Present' (horrible term) for having a baby.

Snowflakes1122 · 08/01/2017 06:47

Posted too soon.

The expectation of a push present isn't

AprilShowers16 · 08/01/2017 06:48

Does a box of Pringles count? They were delicious 😄

laurzj82 · 08/01/2017 07:12

Eurgh. Hate that name! I did get one though. A teeny tiny diamond necklace. I don't do jewellary but I love it. I only wear it on special occasions but it means so much to me. Obviously nothing compared to having a healthy happy baby but it was something thoughtful and pretty that distracted the eye from the mess that was my body post baby

BertrandRussell · 08/01/2017 07:32

It's just a marketing exercise. As are eternity rings, actually. They were invented by DevBeers in the 50s or 60s when they had a glut of diamond chips. They were first sold with the charming strap line "She married you for better or worse-show her how you're doing" -or words to that effect.

Littlelegs19 · 08/01/2017 07:46

I work in a jewlers and see this all the time! Men spend any where from £50 on a charm up to £600 watches or pendants. I didn't realise it was a thing till a few years ago.

I just had my DS and didn't receive anything and rightly so! I don't need a present from my DH for having our child. Our baby needs that money in other ways. Stupid if you ask me!

Only1scoop · 08/01/2017 07:59

Blacksox I think that's lovely. I think a personal piece of jewellery is wonderful. My mum has hers and my eldest brother is late 50's. Bags etc a bit tacky IMO.

thethoughtfox · 08/01/2017 08:00

Got a wonderful Mulberry bag which I use as my 'mum' bag and I feel so happy thinking of my wee family when I carry it.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 08/01/2017 10:08

Nah not here. My birthday was two weeks after our daughters birth so I got a charm then but this time I've told him that all I want is a cheese board and pate.

RasperryInAMelon · 08/01/2017 10:14

1 scoop - I don't see how a bag is tacky. I have best part of £2ks worth of beautiful jewellery that I wear everyday in my wedding and engagement rings, IMO they would look tacky with another ring on top.

When I discussed it with DH I mentioned that if he was going to spend a significant amount of money, then I'd rather he spend it on something I actually want and would use daily.

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