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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

hiding pregnancy until 12 weeks

22 replies

hotchoc · 21/02/2007 17:03

i'm new!! i am 8 weeks pregnant now and finding it hard to conceal my ever expanding midriff. how many of you 'told' before 12 weeks? i just feel like everyone must think i have put lots of weight on. i do not remember feeling so blobby so soon last time. anyway.... any helpful comments welcome. also, do i just come clean if anyone asks me directly? not told family yet though....another long story.

thanks

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nh101 · 21/02/2007 17:20

It's a personal choice. I told family straight away and then work just before my first antenatal appt (as I needed time off). My theory is if I misscarry (I am 8-10 weeks myself) I will need time off anyway so everyone would find out then even if I'd tried to keep it quiet. As for friends and family, I would need their support so I am also happy for them to know I am PG. My theory is rejoice in your pregnancy and deal with any bad stuff if it happens (cos it probably won't)

Jamantha · 21/02/2007 18:02

We kept quiet until 12 weeks, mainly because we were seeing my parents at 11 weeks which was Xmas, and his at 12 weeks, which was New Year, and decided to wait and tell them to their faces rather than over the phone. And having decided that, it didn't seem right that all and sundry should know apart from them. My boss knew before, as I wasn't feeling well, and we told somebody the week before Xmas as practice but that was it. When we let on in the New Year, I was amazed that people seemed genuinely surprised. I was convinced they would have guessed, but apparently not.

Jamantha · 21/02/2007 18:02

congrats hotchoc by the way!

MrsMcJnr · 21/02/2007 18:10

Congratulations! I'm at the same point as you with my first, I'm not really showing at all yet and have told a couple of people only when I thought it was unavoidable not to. We really want to wait until Mother's Day to tell our families. I haven't been at my job long and my boss has just resigned so I'll be keeping it to myself there as long as I can, until it gets too tricky!

softmusk · 21/02/2007 18:41

i didnt tell any one but my mum until i had had my scan which was about 10 weeks

i no with both of mine i was sure every one could tell i was pregnant no body could
i dont think people really care if my waist band was a bit bigger

beanie2bump · 21/02/2007 18:48

HI there and congrats think after the first it just pops out very quickly, lol..
i have an early scan and if all goes ok at that i will tell people,

as i will need help support due to two losses,, one mc, and one sb, i do not think people will notice mini bumb,

but i do hate the being fat stage, you do not look pregnant, just fat, lol...

good luck with when u decide to tell people, xxx

MrsMar · 21/02/2007 18:54

Hi there Hotchoc, congratulations!! I was in the same dilemma as you, dh and I didn't want to tell anyone until after the 12 week scan (in two weeks) but my gran was really down the other week so we told her, and of course it was round the whole family in seconds! as for work, I'm going to wait until I really can't get away with it. As it's my first, and I'm not exactly sylph like I reckon I can get away with it for another month, until I'm about 14 weeks, maybe even 16 weeks if I don't get too porky!

PurpleLostPrincess · 21/02/2007 18:55

I've been trying to conceal this one and thought I'd got away with it! We didn't want to tell anybody until at least 12 wks as I have m/c'd twice at 10 weeks. I only told 1 person and that was the lady I work for but nobody else at all. That was until a couple of weeks ago when we had to tell my parents because something kicked off at home and then I got really ill so I've had to tell other relevant people at work and obviously my friends now. My 12yr old ds now also knows but not my 8 yrold dd. I'm still limiting it and not 'announcing' it just yet (I'm only 10 weeks now) and I would like to get to 12-14 weeks before people start to notice properly. I've not been at work for over a week now so they have probably guessed but we'll see! I'm quite a large person so I don't think people will notice me getting any bigger for a while (I hope!).

At the end of the day, you've got to go with what you feel comfortable with - there's no right or wrong, just whatever is best for you.

mum2george · 21/02/2007 21:48

Hi its not always personal choice! I can puke for England so everyone knows from quite early anyway. Its a bit hard to say to your boss that you are ok when you've just spent over an hour away from your desk in the toilets and look dreadful!

I've always thought that people should know anyway, you will need their support whatever happens so don't worry about it.

CountTo10 · 21/02/2007 21:54

Congratulations and welcome! We told our immediate family at 6 weeks and were going to wait until 12 weeks to make it public but unfortunately we told one or two friends who were not discreet and at 7 weeks everyone knew so it was taken out of our hands. I think its up to you and how you feel about it.

nikkie · 21/02/2007 21:58

I always had to tell people as it affected what I could do at work, and both times I was sick a lot anyway so it was obvious.

ja9 · 21/02/2007 22:08

congratulations and welcome hotchoc.

in the early days of each of my pregnancies i was sure that it was obvious to others, but it turnedout that it wasn't and i was just being paranoind!

the thing that most put me off telling folks before 12 weeks was fear of people's reactions. i wanted people to be hugely excited and not to hold back with the 'oh, it's early days' mentality. most folks see 12 weeks as a big milestone and are more likely to celelbrate with you rather than being cautious for you if you see what i mean...

Busybean · 21/02/2007 23:02

With ds1 we told family and friends at 10 weeks and with ds2 12 weeks.
But we'd had 4 mc before ds1, so didnt want the whole world to know, then have to confront the whole "how are you feeling? must be your 12wk scan soon?" senario

I would keep a third child secret till 10/12 wks too

My SIL on the otherhand, told everyone and anyone after she took the + test and I said congrats but could not help feeling really nervous for her for the following 8wks.

Afterall 1 out of 4 of all pgs end in mc.

It totally depends on weather it would it would upset you more to keep it between a selected few or tell the world and have to tell them about the mc if that happened.

sallycn · 22/02/2007 07:19

well, i managed to keep it a secret at work until i was 22 weeks - and only then because i ended up in hospital for the rest of the pregnancy (altho i had told my line manager at 18 weeks). I am normally a size 8 / 10 so i thought it was pretty obvious - but apparently not - it was the shock of the month when people heard. My reasons for keeping quiet were very personal - lots of miscarriages, including a late one at 21 weeks, and if something was to happen i wanted to deal with it in my own way and not have the pitying looks of people who, on the whole, didn't know me very well. But it's all down to personal choice in the end.

lemonaid · 22/02/2007 07:48

I kept it quiet until after my scan, so 13 weeks. The people at work who knew about my previous m/c had guessed (but then I think they'd been keeping a speculative eye on my midriff ever since then), but it came as a surprise to our families (who by and large didn't know about the m/c).

MrsBadger · 22/02/2007 08:14

We didn't tell anyone at all till after the 12wk scan and even though all the family and friends know now (15wks), I've only told my line manager at work.

This did included fibbing a bit to the in-laws over Christmas, but it was worth it.

Berrie · 22/02/2007 08:22

I told straight away with the first and kept it to myself until the 20 week scan for the second. No one realised at all! I must say though that when the 20 week scan showed an abnormality and I had to wait a week because of the bank holiday and the consultant's extra days off,to find out if the pregnancy would be viable, it was really hard because no-one knew and I could have done with some understanding and support but I couldn't tell them by that point. It was all fine though

incy · 22/02/2007 08:46

With both of my pregnancys I didn't tell anyone until after the 20 week scan (obviously I told DH & BF!).

The second time round I thought it was very obvious (fat tummy, sick all the time) and people must know but too polite to say. I was amazed that when I finally told everyone they didn't have a clue - I think it shows that people are less observant than we imagine so I wouldn't worry - unless you tell them it is rare you will be asked.

amidaiwish · 22/02/2007 09:03

with DD1 we told families and very close friends pretty much straight away (about 6 weeks in i think), told my boss at 9 weeks (was very sick) and by the scan most people knew/had guessed anyway.

with DD2 i was trying to keep it more quiet (esp at work as had just come back from maternity leave with DD1 ) but told a few people and that was it the whole world knew. Also i think with your first you are just excited, but with subsequent you worry more/know the stats/risks more etc... But if you do m/c then you need close friends/family/boss to know and be sympathetic to you anyway imo.

berolina · 22/02/2007 09:13

We told family and close circle of friends a week ago, after I had had a scan and got due date confirmed at 9 1/2 weeks. I have had 3 mcs but they were all before 8 weeks, so I'm feeling (very cautiously) 'safer' now. A couple of close friends knew already - one I blurted it out to when I was 10 days late (and still hadn't tested - scared stiff. In fact I never did test, but went to the gynaecologist at 2 weeks late), one I told at about 7 weeks when she told me she was pg too, a week behind me.

berolina · 22/02/2007 09:14

(oh, actually I did test at a few days late, but the damn thing didn't work)

Original poster

hotchoc · 22/02/2007 09:39

thanks so much for all your comments, think i will wait a wee bit longer, sounds like i will know when the time is right. the baby will be my 3rd and there will be a 6 year gap so i assume no one would expect me to be pregnant, i feel a little nervous about the reaction i will get i suppose. i think paranonia must have got to me about the waistline, not so bad in a skirt anyway. i am really excited about going back to the baby stage but know it will be hard at times. congratulations to all the other mums to be too. x hotchoc x

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