I'm going to have to POAS aren't I? [sad]

[BlackBirdy]

I know some people hate these threads so please don't read on if you do, but I am sat at work and adding things up and panicking and just need to tell someone... My breasts are tingling like mad, I commented today and yesterday to dh that I felt nauseous this morning, on sunday Dh opened the fridge and I was two rooms away and suddenly hit by the smell of the cooked meat in the fridge which he said didn't smell.... period is due around now (yesterday) but it is never absolutely regular. I'm actually really quite worried and really don't really want to poas as if it is what I suspect I've no idea how to cope with it!

Yup, poas, would it be a disaster or just a shock?

I can't do anything until gone 5pm. Shock more than disaster I suppose, we'd cope but it would be exactly that - just coping. We've 2 dc and youngest just about to start school in sept, he has been a real, real handful to date. we're just back on our feet financially, my career has just picked up again, dh was made redundant but just sorted now... we'd cope

You are.

But i must also add that i had all these symptoms along with usually preggo CM this month, and being 12 days late and still got 4 negative tests before AF turned up like a bad party guest not knowing she was late and making me worry.

I hope you get the answer you want..

You need to know so you can deal with it, either way.

How are you blackbirdy hope you're ok

Thank you - not really ok, +ve test, currently processing.

Hope you're OK birdy

I will be, I'm shocked, DH gone out and not told him yet.
We can afford a third, and we will manage. I've had 8 pregnancies and 2 children, so statistically this may not go the way we thought it would anyway. Not sure how I feel about that either. In all honesty this isn't a rollercoaster I wanted to get back on - checking every day for bleeding, constantly surveying myself for pregnancy symptoms. And then am I supposed to be happy if that happens?? It is a complete head F* (p.s. sorry for the language!)

No need to be sorry at all. Perfectly justified, pregnancy is non-stop worry at the best of times.
Tell him when he gets home, at least then you aren't processing it alone.
Is it the pregnancy and history during pregnancy which is most daunting or the actual prospect of starting again?

DH and I have discussed it before - he said to have another would be a 'happy surprise'. I loved having the babies, but I love our life now, the children are a great age, we are coping well after a few years of a highly demanding ds2. so I suppose its a bit of both - I don't want to lose what we have but I am more worried about the next 8 months. Also my career is good, sorry if that sounds selfish but I've just been given my dream job, I'm settled now. I didn't want another child as the miscarriages drove me a bit mad, they were all between 8 and 16 weeks, pregnancy is not a happy, fun time for me.

If things are not right and it is not right for your family, there is no obligation to keep it. Maybe you need to speak to an advisor to get your own thoughts in order.

Not a bit of it sounds selfish, I totally get it. It's hard when you feel like you're getting a bit of 'you' back for that all to change.
MCs are the absolute pits, two have been hard enough for me so to some extent I understand how you feel. It isn't fun, it's just worry after worry and one massive stress-fest. It's easy to say but whatever happens I hope you know deep down you'll be ok x

Thanks caroldecker - I absolutely appreciate that is the right choice for some women but I do know without doubt I couldn't do that. I think I just have to figure how to move forwards and see what happens.

Congrats!
Been there, am there we still aren't in a great situation financially but by golly DS is the most gorgeous wonderful surprise ever!!

Well I wish you all the best for the pregnancy and the future.

Sorry i didn't see your response when i posted last night.

Tentative congratulations to you. Hope you've told DH now and you're not having to process alone. You don't sound selfish at all, you sound normal of anyone with a surprise pregnancy.

Wishing you all the best and a unmumsnetty hug. :)