Confession : I don't want to breast feed

[beansbananas]

I know that the general rule is that breast is best, and that if you can then you should breast feed your baby. And before you jump to the wrong conclusion, I do actually intend to try and breast feed when my baby arrives, it's just that if I'm honest it's not something I actually want to do. Am I the only one who thinks it's a terrifying concept and a little bit gross? The thought of sore, bleeding nipples, mastitis or thrush is overwhelming to me, and I have seen so many of my friends in tears and at breaking point over trying to keep breast feeding despite the pain or struggles to get them to latch on properly, and get enough milk. The peer pressure is just ridiculous, and I hate the expectation that you should keep at it, no matter what. Does anyone else feel like this? I don't feel like you can admit you don't want to breast feed without being horribly judged, so would love to know if there are other mum's to be who also find it daunting and also hear any survival tips from mum's who have persevered with it.

of course youre not alone. Loads of people dont breastfeed. Thats WHY theres now more pressure from healthcare professionals to try to do it, because so many people dont. Its certainly becoming more mainstream to do it, now we know all the benefits, but I struggle to work out how on earth anyone would feel they might be alone in wanting to formula feed when its so damn mainstream

I'm breastfeeding now, baby 3 weeks old and it's been difficult. I feel enormous pressure from everyone but health care professionals to formula feed and I'm just happy someone (other then DH) is in my side. Formula is always presented as the easier way, the way of more sleep, everyone can feed. We had to give a few formula top ups week one as milk was delayed coming in, baby never slept any longer than she did with my milk. I am expressing and we sometimes give her ebm top ups. You never hear about the negatives of formula feeding only the negatives of breastfeeding. It is hard but I think it will be worth it

With regards to combination feeding, I tried to introduce just one bottle when my son was 2 weeks old. He loved it so much, he refused the breast! That was the beginning of the end of breastfeeding him.

Most bottles don't require babies to do any work. Of course they prefer it!

Just for a slightly different perspective: I didn't struggle at all and you might not either. Mastitis, thrush, latching issues, poor supply are not at all a given. Actually I know lots of women who have got the hang of it fairly quickly and found it an easy and convenient way to feed their babies.

I think it's important to recognise that it can be tricky but since a lot of the online and til conversation tends to be about problems you don't always hear from women who've found it easy.

DD is 17 months and is still bf. we had no cracked nipples, latching issues etc apart from she is allergic to cows milk. But once worked out wasn't an issue IYSWIM?

But I am pro choice. We all know breast is best. But not at the demise of a mothers mental health. If it's not for you don't do it. But if you want to have a go and then decide that's fine too.

If you don't want to breastfeed then don't. It's your choice. Don't let yourself be railroaded into something you don't want to do.

Maybe it depends on where you live but in my experience the pressure was on me to not breastfeed. I got negative comments from family and so on. Breastfeeding itself I found easy once I got the hang of it, but I really struggled with the horrible things a few people in particular said to me about it. I've seen people online who are very pro-breastfeeding, but in real life I have not encountered that anywhere.

Four DC here. Never attempted to breast feed any of them. No guilt. It's your choice

Beans, seasoned breast feeder here.
You do, whatever you want to do, and feel comfortable with.
There is so much more, to being a Mother, than breast feeding.
There are pros and cons to everything.
Not all new Mum's can feed, are they any less a Mother, hell no, of course not.
You may enjoy it, you may not, but remember, it matters not.
As long as your baby if fed and happy, that's all that matters.🙋

Give it a go, but if it's not for you, don't stress. My mother never fed me a drop of breastmilk-her choice- and I turned out ok!
What's best for baby will be what's best for you.
I found breastfeeding very hard work, I never had enough milk and I ended up combination feeding which was just awkward.

I think even if you don't intend to breastfeed long term, then try and do a few feeds of colostrum. As another poster said, your milk will come in anyway. Colostrum is liquid gold and has so many good things in it. Even hand expressing some off if you can't bear the thought of feeding directly.

As an addendum, I fed my two and they were both bloody awkward to feed and I was the one with all the problems. I did stick with it out of sheer stubbornness, but I do understand why people don't. It really isn't for everyone and what's the point in making yourself miserable over it.

HeCantBeSerious yeah I know that, I always wonder how people manage to successfully combination feed...

I was expecting a struggle but honestly found it a complete dream. Easy, free, and meant I could scoff as much as I liked. An absolute godsend when my baby was seriously ill as well.

I breastfed my son until he was 2.5 years old. To me it was the only option. Once I reached that age though I had had enough and stopped. So I completely understand if a mother doesn't want to breastfeed. It's only possible if the mother wants to and you should never ever feel like you have to. It's a very personal choice and no one should judge you.

I was expecting a struggle but honestly found it a complete dream. Easy, free, and meant I could scoff as much as I liked. An absolute godsend when my baby was seriously ill as well.

Good luck!! I wanted to but didn't realise it was AWFUL (for me!) made me so unhappy!! Second baby I did BF again and it was lots better but I suffered with DMER which I didn't realise til after I finished bf my second (only a few months as I couldn't continue as felt so dreadful)
Anyway I'm glad I gave it a try, it wasn't the best but I'm still glad I did what I did .... play it by ear - you have options and choices!!

Never had any issues barr a blocked duct.
I'm pro BF, however each to their own. Don't let anyone pressure you.
Give it a try as you want to and see how you get on.

I did 6 weeks EBF, then mixed and then formula. Do whatever you like OP.

Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I'm pro bf but I know most of my friends either didn't want to or did so only for a week or two and went to formula. I found a lot of people seemed to want to put me off bf saying it's hard work, you'll have sore nipples etc which I did have but only a for a few days and I've been fine bf for 6 months now no problems. I find it much easier not having to sterilise bottles etc and night feeds are easy esp now as she only feeds for about 5 mins n goes back to sleep and only wakes once or twice a night. At the end of the day as long as your babies fed and happy I wouldn't worry too much just do what you feels best.

I lasted three weeks with dd 1 spent hours glues to the sofa being chewed to pieces and when I wasn't feeding I was pumping

Dd2- fuck that

Had no intention of bf and I didn't. 6 yrs old and perfectly healthy.

It's dd1 with the eczema and asthma.

If I have a third I wouldn't bf again. No way

Do as you see fit. Formula is perfectly acceptable.

I went into it very much "if I can and I like it, I will- but no dramas if not"

We've had tongue tie, mastitis and blocked ducts,,.., but I STILL enjoy it so much 4 months in, I can't imagine how Ill feel when the time comes to stop.

You might surprise yourself when your DC is here - but the most important thing is that you're happy. That'll do more for your baby's development and your bond than your breast milk.

I weirdly also had to contend with my DM telling me to use formula!!! She thought BFing was weird, faffy and too tiring .... She's come around now though, and got all tearful when she walked in on me in the bath with DS who had just latched himself on while I held him on my tummy. She said it was really moving to see.

Fair enough if you don't want to, your choice. I agree with a pp that it's far better to just say I don't want to, didn't like it etc that say that you couldn't or encountered some problem (if you could and had no problems)

From your OP - I have bf ds for 17 months so far. I've not had bleeding or cracked nippers, thrush, mastitis or any other nasties. The worst part for me was how bloody relentless it was in the first month's. Ds fed every 40 minutes for weeks.

Due Dc2 soon and know that if this baby is the same, there's no way I'll manage it with ds to run after too.

I think people should at least try it, as it's free and much easier in most instances - when you're off out somewhere you don't have to worry about making up bottles or anything like that. But it's not for everyone, and no one should feel pressured into doing anything when it comes to raising you own child IMO

But calling it 'gross' is a little bit immature OP. It's what your breasts are there for at the end of the day, whether you like it or not!