Confession : I don't want to breast feed

[beansbananas]

I know that the general rule is that breast is best, and that if you can then you should breast feed your baby. And before you jump to the wrong conclusion, I do actually intend to try and breast feed when my baby arrives, it's just that if I'm honest it's not something I actually want to do. Am I the only one who thinks it's a terrifying concept and a little bit gross? The thought of sore, bleeding nipples, mastitis or thrush is overwhelming to me, and I have seen so many of my friends in tears and at breaking point over trying to keep breast feeding despite the pain or struggles to get them to latch on properly, and get enough milk. The peer pressure is just ridiculous, and I hate the expectation that you should keep at it, no matter what. Does anyone else feel like this? I don't feel like you can admit you don't want to breast feed without being horribly judged, so would love to know if there are other mum's to be who also find it daunting and also hear any survival tips from mum's who have persevered with it.

I couldn't get the hang of breastfeeding with dc 1 and gave up. Then a week later found the bottle making a total faff and couldn't sleep. I tried again and it worked out.

I breastfed all 3 l of my dc laying down at night in bed and slept whilst they fed.

If you don't want to then don't, but you may find bfeeding is easier than bottle at night. It doesn't really matter how you choose to feed your baby as long as the baby is happy and full and your relaxed and happy.

You don't have to breastfeed if you don't want to, it is entirely your decision.

HOWEVER, many women (me included!) find breastfeeding to be pretty easy and painless, so if you are in any doubt, then do give it a go.

Also remember that breastfeeding is not 'all or nothing'. Whilst exclusive breastfeeding for six months is the ideal, breastfeeding for a few weeks or few days, or mixed feeding, will still have benefits for your baby.

Do whatever you are happy with. I bf one for nine months and only did the other for a few weeks as it didn't agree with him. Both have turned out fine. You don't need any added pressure! Don't let anyone else make you feel bad either. Good luck. It will all be great.

You always hear the horror stories about breast feeding, I was terrified and assumed I was going to fail.

But... I actually found it really easy, never had nipple pain, mastitis, any of those horrible things. I was really quite pissed off with the people who told me all the bad things as if they were gospel before DS came along.

If you don't want to, for your own reasons, that is absolutely fine, but don't let other people's experiences put you off.

I really wanted to breastfeed, but couldn't (long story). Eventually we had to go with bottle feeding.

I was HUGELY pressured to breastfeed by the nurses in the maternity ward, by a passive-aggressive mother in my NCT group, and even by a random guy in the street who happened to see me bottlefeeding. This was all very upsetting (particularly because I was actually doing my best!) In retrospect, I can see how utterly unacceptable this was and I really wish I could go back in time and tell them all to fuck right off.

Formula milk is an excellent food for your baby.

It's a lot better for your baby to have a happy bottlefeeding mother who enjoys spending time with them than to have a breastfeeding martyr who dreads feeding time (if those are your options).

Some years on, my kids are actually very healthy and well-grown (much more so than the kids of that passive-aggressive NCT cow, incidentally)

Please don't let anyone give you any shit about the breastfeeding/bottlefeeding thing.

It's fine not to breastfeeding if you dont want to but don't be put off through fear of mastitis. Thrush and bleeding nipples. I have breastfed 3 babies and never had any of those problems. Some people get problems and some people don't and every baby is different even for the same woman

I found the pressure to bf quite overwhelming and subsequently bfing turned into a complete nightmare, a never ending vicious circle of pain, not enough supply, pressure to persevere, etc. Poor dc nearly starved before a very old school, pragmatic nurse talked some common sense into me. Everybody was much happier after we switched to mixed and ultimately ffeeding!
Tried again with dc2, history was repeating itself but I was mentally prepared to switch to ff and did so early on.
I would still say give bf a good try, but ff is absolutely fine and can be the perfect choice for you and your baby!

I'm all for a happy mum to be honest. Bugger what you should do, bugger what anyone else has to say about it. It's your choice and nobody is going to force you into doing anything you don't want to.

Either way, your baby will be fed. That's what's important.

Thanks so much everyone. I feel much more positive about the whole thing after hearing your experiences.

If you don't want to, don't and don't worry about peer perception either. I was very much in the minority who didn't do it twenty odd years ago and I never received even a second glance let alone a dodgy comment.

People care less than you think

Most women don't breastfeed, so who cares what you do. However there is nothing gross about it.

IMO you'll get on much better if you don't put too much pressure on yourself. I went into it thinking I'd give it a go but that I wouldn't let it upset me if it didn't work out (I too had heard the bleeding nipples horror stories).

I did get mastitis, but since the best way to ease the pain is it keep feeding I carried on through that.

I'm 3.5 months in and still going, but if I hate it later I'll stop, oh, and don't assume it's all or nothing, you can successfully combination feed if you want to.

But I'm thinking I'll prob introduce a formula bottle for the dream feed pretty early on, so I can get some sleep and share some responsibility with my husband!

Just be aware that approach is likely to affect you establishing breastfeeding and supply.

Never wanted to bf so didn't. There was no pressure from anyone and no one commented on my choice to my face (what people choose to say behind my back is of no concern to me). Have raised 3 healthy and happy babies so don't regret my decision one bit

Hi OP, I didn't want to either so i used formula from the start. I got a lot of pressure from family but ignored it, my husband was happy with whatever i chose thankfully. Do what will make you comfortable

Most people I know bottle feed.

I bottle fed 2dc and breast fed 3. I preferred breast feeding for lots of different reasons, but I don't feel like me or the dc missed out when I bottle fed. I bonded just as well with all of them. I slept and traveled better with breast feeding.

No one said a word to me when I bottle fed, other than wanting to know how many ounces they took compared to their babies

When I breast fed I was questioned, criticised, made fun of and pressured to stop. Apparently it is perverted, needy, hippyish, old fashioned and creepy to feed a baby with your breasts.

Everyone had an opinion, including hcp's. I was criticised for still feeding at 22 months by a doctor as well as perfect strangers.

So I say do what you want because someone will have something to say either way.

Bottle don't necessarily mean formula.

I exclusively expressed milk for my babies. They drank breastmilk from bottles.

I loved breastfeeding. I had a copious supply of milk, no soreness. It was ridiculously easy and my babies thrived. I missed it when I eventually stopped.

A couple of my friends bottle fed and I saw all the faff of making up bottles, heating, sterilising, stinky nappies etc and thought what a pain it seemed.

But if I had struggled with my supply or found it difficult, I am pretty sure I'd have been onto formula sharpish.

Don't let people put you off - make it your choice.

I'm 3.5 months in and still going, but if I hate it later I'll stop, oh, and don't assume it's all or nothing, you can successfully combination feed if you want to.

That depends very much on the baby :). Some will combination feed happily, some won't, and will either refuse the bottle or find it easier and start refusing the breast.

Also combination feeding can fuck up your supply, and many who start combination feeding slide into full time bottles.

Combination feeding didn't work for me. Took a lot of hard work to get mine to accept a bottle, then once they got the hang they combination fed for 3 days before refusing breast completely.

It isn't as simple as "if you want to". I always say don't combination feed unless you are ok with ending up with bottles, as your baby might take both, they might not, and you won't know until it's done.

It's not gross , no.

But it can be tough and painful at first. How you feed your baby is entirely your own business. If you don't want to bf, then don't.,
Breast is best on a population level. What's best for the individual mum/baby dyad can be breast, formula or a mix of the two.
I really struggled to get bf going but it worked eventually and now we are still going at 15 months. That's what worked for us. If I have another I'll be mix feeding because it's been tough doing every single night feed for a boob obsessed baby!

Good luck op. What's right for you is whatever you decide.

I didn't want to breastfeed and don't, I wrote a big reply justifying why but then I realised I don't need to justify my decision.

I sometimes feel bad when people assume you are breastfeeding and the recent belfies on Instagram I felt were a bit

Fed is best, do what's best for you and your baby.

I really want to BF but if you dont then you shouldnt force yourself.

People always have opinions on everything baby related, let them be.

There is more to being a mum that BF

Haven't read the replies but you might be one of the lucky ones who doesn't suffer at all! It happens!

I'm due DC4 soon, feeding DC1 for the first few weeks was extremely tough but he was 11lbs and I was also recovering from a traumatic birth. Anyway all the work I did then paid off coz feeding the next two was easy.

And for what it's worth, I don't really enjoy breastfeeding and am pretty vocal about it but it's just something I do (the longest was for 8 months). I do think it's better so I get on with it but I always give one bottle of formula a day from the start too.

After failing miserably to manage it with my first two children, I honestly thought if I ever had another child I wouldn't even try because the feeling of failure that I felt was awful. However my youngest is nearly 9 and a baby is due in a couple of weeks and I'm more determined than ever to do it this time!

If you don't want to do it then don't, but you might surprise yourself 😊

With regards to combination feeding, I tried to introduce just one bottle when my son was 2 weeks old. He loved it so much, he refused the breast! That was the beginning of the end of breastfeeding him.