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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How did you deal with early pg anxiety

24 replies

Lelly0503 · 29/12/2016 09:41

HI everyone. Thread title says it all really, am about 4/5 weeks and tried for 9 months. It's my first pregnancy and I'm just terrified. Doesn't feel real. I have cramps which I've had for over a week and sore boobs. I know there's nothing I can do but how did you deal with the early days and the anxiety? Xx

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PeachBellini123 · 29/12/2016 09:53

I think most people feel like this but if it's all consuming definitely talk to your GP - they can give you advice.

Also distraction for me was the best thing. Easier said than done. Don't sit at home worrying (not suggesting you are doing this by the way just speaking about my experience).

Original poster

Lelly0503 · 29/12/2016 10:11

Thank you peach. I found out only yesterday but just feels like forever to go. I will make the gp/midwife apt in the new year and will chat about with them then x

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AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 29/12/2016 20:19

I am in a similar boat. 5 weeks tomorrow after nearly 2 years ttc.

I keep having this impending sense of doom. I keep visiting the loo because I am sure I have started to bleed! But so far no sign. I just can't believe it.

HellsBellsK · 29/12/2016 21:20

I am also the same around 5weeks 1day.
I was okay up until today - Something came over me and I am just worrying all the time. Going to the loo every hour or so as I feel like I am about to bleed but nothing.

I am wishing the first few weeks away - going for a scan in two weeks.

Original poster

Lelly0503 · 29/12/2016 22:16

Thank you both for replying, I am glad I am not the only one. One minute I'm happy and the next I am almost so scared I'm dreading the next 9 months. I just cant imagine that an actual baby is going to be made. I am back to work next week and wishing the days away as the weeks fly by then. I think ATM being off work bcos it's xmas is not helping as I've not been doing much! Congratulations to you Both as well xx

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Sparklyuggs · 30/12/2016 07:06

It's common, and I think it gets easier over time. I'm coming up to 10w and it has got a bit easier as the miscarriage rates decline, and I paid to have an early scan at 8w and saw a heartbeat which helped. Before that I told my parents and best friend in case I needed support, and I took it as easy as I could- reading nice books, lying down, and I did some breathing exercises from yoga. I still have anxiety and did before I was pg but wanted to say you aren't alone.

SharkBastard · 30/12/2016 07:14

It's totally normal to have anxiety this early. I knicker checked literally every hour, I just kept repeating 'what will be will be' and now I'm 24 weeks with a big boy bouncing round my insides.

I still knicker check, but not as much. it does ease with time, but the 1st trimester is very anxious. Your symptoms will kick in more soon and that helps put your mind at rest a bit

Original poster

Lelly0503 · 30/12/2016 11:02

Thank you so much I was feeling very alone in how I felt which made me feel like something must be wrong however knowing others felt this way has made me feel a lot better, im going to try and stay relaxed as possible and enjoy each day as it comes xx

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Original poster

Lelly0503 · 30/12/2016 11:03

Ps congratulations on both your pregnancies xx

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Sparklyuggs · 30/12/2016 11:25

I think it's hard because we're told to keep it quiet until 12 weeks so no one really talks openly about it so when it happens it feels like a shock. Apart from the NHS guidelines there is really nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage so do the best you can to be calm. I found the Antenatal Clubs board on here helped me as there were ladies I could talk to xx

MatildaWormwoodRoolsOK · 30/12/2016 14:57

Congratulations! Each time around, I have had the exact same anxiety you describe. I don't think there's an easy solution but I did find that nice books (nothing containing death, miscarriage, abortion, child abuse etc) and soft music and warm baths helped, breathing exercises, that sort of thing. It will pass, it will.

FXSkip · 30/12/2016 15:14

I am the same, Lelly - 5+1 and sit staring at my ovia pregnancy app willing it to tell me something new! I have already booked midwife, 12 wk scan and early scan at 7 wks
Last time I was pg, earlier in the year, I had a scan at 7wks only to see no little baby in the sac - so I had all the symptoms but no foetus. I was devastated - I had never even heard of an anembryonic pregnancy - and I didn't miscarry until 11 weeks. It was dreadful, so now I feel like my anxiety has doubled. Also, all four of the people I have told have said the same thing: oh.... I hope this one works - not exactly what I want to hear!
This time I have hardly any symptoms, other than some cramping, and I've been much more cautious with who I tell early. Some people are just so awkward and unsupportive - one 'friend' gave me a book about pre-conception diet and exercise and said 'hopefully next time you get it right' as if it was my fault!! Another user above has said follow the guidelines, there is nothing you can do and its true, but it doesn't help with the anxiety. Best thing to do is to try and relax (ie nice book, go for swim etc) and every time an anxious thought pops into your head be firm and say to yourself 'worrying won't make the time pass any faster. For now I am pregnant, and I am happy/strong/relaxed' or whatever, and gradually it will become a habit to re-write the habitual thought process.

Sorry for massive post. Are you guys on the Sept grads thread? If not come join me!!

Original poster

Lelly0503 · 30/12/2016 15:44

Thank you for your replies they really are helping, will pay a visit to the ante natal boards.

Skip I'm really sorry to hear what happened in your last pregnancy and for the insensitivity you've had since, I think people think they are helping and reassuring you but there not. I will take all of your advice and try my best torelax and enjoy it for what it is xx

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AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 31/12/2016 10:31

Is anyone's anxiety easing off at all? I swear mine is getting worse!

FXSkip · 01/01/2017 10:49

On and off for me I'm afraid. Distraction distraction distraction!!

AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 01/01/2017 11:13

Least I know I am not alone. I think it is worse because I have been off work this week. I am sure when the chaos of real life returns I will have more to distract me!

hbmelon · 01/01/2017 11:21

Just wanted to say you're not alone. I'm 6+2 and I had no idea that early pregnancy would be so stressful. I tried for 8 months, and finally conceived via IVF. I had a MC previously and I do think that puts people at higher risk of anxiety in subsequent pregnancies. I also have anxiety generally - such a joy!

We had a 6 week scan and I was counting the days down to that because I knew that if there was a heartbeat at that point, risk of MC greatly reduces. There was one, but the consultant wants to rescan because it was a little slower than he would have liked. Cue even more anxiety! And that's where I am now!

It's very lonely at times, in these early days, I think.

hbmelon · 01/01/2017 11:23

Just to add, I try and use mindfulness to manage the difficult emotions. Be aware of your feelings, but recognise that they are only feelings. Someone also recommended to me doing facts vs thoughts/feelings. Right now, you're pregnant. That's what you have to focus on. (I know, easier said than done at times x)

FXSkip · 01/01/2017 11:35

hbmelon good tip - but yes, easier said than done! Sorry to hear about your previous mc, and the agonising wait you face now. I hope it all works out for you, positivity all the way! Do come back and let us know how you're getting on!

Passmethecrisps · 01/01/2017 11:56

It is hideous, isn't it? And reactions like those skip received don't help either.

If it would help to tell people then do. You don't need to keep it a secret and if talking about it helps then share with good friends or family. I took the view that if I liked someone enough that I would tell them something bad had happened then I should really tell them the good first.

Telling a few pals made it feel real and went some small way to helping me enjoy the nice bits.

With my previous pregnancy I was in an ante-natal group on here which was immensely helpful. A large number of us a still in touch and a fair few are good friends. We used to repeat "today, I am pregnant" which did seem to help

hbmelon · 01/01/2017 14:38

Thank you FXSkip. (I don't know how to write names in bold on my phone 🤔)

Passmethecrisps, I think repeating "today I am pregnant" would be helpful - I might start saying that to myself!

ALLthedinosaurs · 01/01/2017 14:47

I'm with you Lelly. 6+5. This one has been wanted for 3 years!

I'm coping by reading the silly little pages on the internet for how your baby is developing at each week and literally ticking off the days like a crazy pregger advent calendar . Oh and a weekly POAS. I may be going insane!

Trying and stay calm and think positive thoughts. I am booking a scan for 9 weeks. Can't wait to see the little one jiggling around.

Right now I'm pretty much prostrate with intense nausea so that's reassuring at least.

Hope everything goes well with you

Original poster

Lelly0503 · 01/01/2017 16:14

Thank you dinosaurs and congrats on your pregnancy too!! I feel a bit better than I did two days ago. I am definitely trying to think positively and for now I am pregnant. I did a second clear blue digital and it went up to 3+ so that put my mind at rest a bit. Although this anxiety is stressful I am glad to know I am not alone and hearing that you all have felt similar is reassuring as I was thinking that by feeling so worried I must be abnormal xx

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AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 05/01/2017 23:37

Still knicker checking and over analysing everything. Am now so convinced I will miscarry I have started wearing a sanitary towel all the time to avoid the mess when the inevitable happens. I really need a grip!

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