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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Childcare when in labour with DC2?

27 replies

chloechloe · 26/11/2016 20:09

DD1 is 20m old and DD2 is due on Boxing Day. Due to emigrating a few years back we don't have any family or close friends nearby, although my PiL are 2 hours away by car (assuming it's not snowing!)

I'm just curious as to what plans people put / have in place? We have a babysitter who DD1 loves and who we can leave her with without any worries but she has another job so won't necessarily be available when the time comes.

I think the only option is for MiL to come and help out but I don't want her here for days on end before the baby is due and certainly not around me when I'm in labour!

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Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 26/11/2016 20:14

Is DH staying with DD1 a option? I have given birth alone, it's was actually really great

BathshebaSnowflakeStone · 26/11/2016 20:21

FIL and my aunt.

taytopotato · 26/11/2016 20:23

Neighbors, friends, hire someone

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 26/11/2016 20:32

Our first (main) childcare option was my PIL who were a 3.5 hour drive away. I went overdue, had a sweep on day 10, rang them with some mild cramps on the way back from the hospital and they pretty much left straight away, they arrived about 3 hours before DD2 was born, and conveniently FIL was able to drive us to the hospital too!

Nikki2ol6 · 26/11/2016 20:45

How about a child minder who works full time? My friend is a childminder and has children sleep over as some of the parents are lorry drivers and nurses so often work night shifts. If you find one close by you can drop your child off on the way to hospital orrrrr you can consider a home birth and have a friend come over to keep your child entertained in a different room

cheweduprope · 26/11/2016 20:49

I would invite MiL. And if she's looking after your other child, then she's not going to be "around you when you're in labour", is she?

nennyrainbow · 26/11/2016 21:04

How long were you in labour with with dc1? Could you not call your MIL once you're in the early stages of labour to save having her hanging around for days?

Gizlotsmum · 26/11/2016 21:05

We used a friend ( child same age as dd1 ) who had very kindly offered..

CalleighDoodle · 26/11/2016 21:05

My parents had my first born when i had mt second. What about a homebirth?

nennyrainbow · 26/11/2016 21:07

Or have a homebirth? DH can then be intermittently looking after Dc1 and being with you. Or if it's night time Dc1 can be tucked up in bed. Worked for us with DC2.

Figgygal · 26/11/2016 21:08

Was supposed to be pil but mil was hospitalised for blood tests an hour before I went into labour had to call round friends and drop off ds1 on way to hospital. Worked out for the best as pil despite living 20 minutes away cannot go anywhere quickly and I was at hospital within 2 hours and already 8cms gone we COULD NOT have waited for them.

What about a home birth?

savagehk · 26/11/2016 21:21

Still need a plan b for home birth in case things don't go to plan and you need to transfer to hospital.

FuzzyOwl · 26/11/2016 21:25

I had this concern and considered a home birth with DH staying home with DD if I ended up having to go to hospital.

TheInternetIsForPorn · 26/11/2016 21:32

My daughter came to hospital with us and ended up being in the room when her brother was born.

Heratnumber7 · 26/11/2016 21:38

Two hours is plenty of time for in laws to get to you when you start labour. Not many babies are born 2 hours after the first signs if something happening.

MyBreadIsEggy · 26/11/2016 21:39

Lack of childcare for DD (17 months at the time) was one of many deciding factors in us choosing a home birth for DC2.
DD happily pottered about while I was in labour, then went for a nap when I was around 8cm dilated. She woke up when her brother was about an hour old and came down to meet him

Equimum · 26/11/2016 21:44

We were reliant on my non-driving mother, who lives over an hour away. In the end, we arranged with a couple of mum's who we had done NCT with, so that had I gone into labour and needed to go to the hospital faster than we could get my mum to us, I could call them and they would have watched DS1 for a couple of hours. Could you ask any local friends to just have your DD until your PILs get there?

Original poster

chloechloe · 26/11/2016 21:53

Home birth definitely isn't an option as I'm high risk and have been offered an ELCS which I want to avoid if possible. With my first I had to have an EMCS before I even went into labour so have no idea what to expect! I guess it means I'm unlikely to deliver quickly!

I'm not against the idea of heading to hospital on my own if need be (though DH would be most upset). Hopefully MiL would be able to get here soon enough if she's on call when I go into labour.

I'm not too comfortable with taking a child minder that my DD doesn't know! Plus I'm due at Xmas so I expect they won't be easy to come by!

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Original poster

chloechloe · 26/11/2016 21:56

I'm loving all these home birth stories with the other DC around / napping though!

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Fitzsimmons · 26/11/2016 22:00

We had this issue with our second and when we talked about it with colleagues and toddler group parents etc we were inundated with offers. Most people don't mind if it's a one off. DD was born over Christmas too and so many people offered to take DS on Xmas day if that was when she made her appearance (she eventually arrived just after new year). In the end one of the mums from a toddler group came over at midnight and sat with my son until my parents got here at 3am.

HeadDreamer · 26/11/2016 22:00

Same with TheInternetIsForPorn DC1 went to the hospital with us and was in the waiting room outside when DC2 was born. Labour went so quickly friend didn't arrive until DC2 was born. And DC1 didn't even remember she was in the hospital when her sister was born!

stolemyusername · 26/11/2016 22:16

In your case I would plan to call Mil as soon as your sure labour is starting, then DH could keep DD1 occupied whilst waiting for MIL to arrive.

If it happens fast you could leave for the hospital and DH following you as soon as MIL has arrived. Although I'm sure that I'd you need to leave quickly a neighbour could mind DD1 for a short time whilst MIL is on her way.

BananaPie · 26/11/2016 22:21

We had the exact same issue: overseas and away from family and dc2 due over Xmas.

Grandparents ended up staying with us for 3 weeks (dc2 was a week overdue... Flights home were cancelled and rebooked).

It was ok. They were swiftly dispatched home after the birth.

NerrSnerr · 26/11/2016 22:29

We have similar issues. We are having an ELCS due to complications last time so we're hoping that we can get away with dropping our daughter off in the morning at nursery and my husband being able to collect her at teatime. We have a few local friends from baby groups who will look after her if I go into labour at another time. Ultimately if needs be I will do it without my husband being there but hopefully it won't come to that.

Original poster

chloechloe · 26/11/2016 22:35

banana Poor you! PIL are in another country but fortunately within driving distance so no need to fly them over beforehand!

fitz I expect that would be the same here - I think I'll just start to drop hints to the neighbors and toddler group friends in the hope someone offers. I just feel quite embarrassed about having to ask for help - where we live is quite provincial and most of the couples with kids we've met since moving here have both sets of grandparents and their oldest friends living within 10km!

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